At Least He Tried
by DCFanatic4life
Summary: Chris tries to tell Trish that he likes her...only to find that she's not interested. So he goes running to his best friend... Completed
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The characters and people in this story do not belong to me. The characters belong to Vince McMahon and WWE, and the people belong to themselves.  
  
A/N: ::sigh:: Here we go again, I don't know where these ideas keep springing from, but I can't stop them! The voices, they never shut up! The muses never stop  
  


* * *

  
Well, here's another fic, and I don't know, it could be a stand-alone, it could be a series, that's up to you, so let me know if I should continue this. I think I left the ending just vague enough to be able to continue if you guys want. Let me know.  
  
Be brutal if you feel the need to. :)  
  
~  
  
At least he tried.  
  
That was the best that he could come up with at the moment. At least he tried. So much for the analysis of the situation. So much for actually coming up with a valid reason for why she had turned him down. All he could think was: at least he tried. Tried and failed, but at least he tried.  
  
Tried what exactly? Well, he had tried to tell Trish that he had feelings for her. Of course, in his infinite wisdom, she had confessed that she only like him as a friend, so there he was, looking like an idiot, standing there like some sort of pathetic dog who had followed her home.  
  
She liked Christian. Of all people, Trish liked Christian, his best friend, his compadre, his bro. And all on his dime too. He was the one who had started being friends with her, he was the one who had bought her things, and then Christian had just swooped in and stolen her, right out from under her nose, and now here he was, fuming, his arms crossed, on an airplane to see his REAL best friend, who would know what to do.  
  
But at least he tried.  
  
He knew that his friend wasn't expecting him, but he didn't care at this moment. He needed to see them, to rant, to rage, possibly throw some things. Nothing expensive or anything like that, but maybe something breakable. Maybe there was a glass he could just throw against the wall. That would make him feel better.  
  
So much for a real friendship with Christian. Friendships were constantly ending over a woman, he just never thought about having that situation with himself. Thank God he didn't have to deal with that with his best friend. No way would they be going after the same person, not in this lifetime. He chuckled at the thought, and found that the first laugh he'd had all day.  
  
He thought back to that conversation with Trish, how horrible it had gone. He had gotten her flowers, just to say that he was thinking of her. Oh, but much to his surprise, he had found Trish talking with Christian against some of the lockers. He had quickly put away the flowers and walked in, clearing his throat, he could still remember the conversation now.  
  
"Oh Chris," Trish said, "I didn't see you there."  
  
"Yeah, we were caught up," Christian laughed.  
  
"Give us a minute Chrissy," Trish said to Christian, "I just want to talk to Chris."  
  
"Sure," Christian answered, leaving the room.  
  
"I was just talking to Christian, sorry to keep you waiting," Trish said.  
  
"I'm sorry too. I know you and Christian have been becoming friends lately, it makes me happy to see," he smiled, glad that two of the people he cared about were finally getting along.  
  
"Yeah, we've been getting along great," Trish smiled, "So what's up?"  
  
"I just needed to tell you something Trish," he said, grinning like a little boy, "Something important."  
  
"Ok, I'm listening."  
  
"I really like you," he said, giving her the flowers.  
  
Trish's face dropped, "How do you like me?"  
  
"As more than a friend," he said, still holding the flowers pathetically, "Like, I want to be your boyfriend, and I really hope that you like me too, because Trish, I think I'm falling in love with you."  
  
There, he had said it. Now it was up to her to reciprocate his feelings. He knew she would too, she had to, after everything they had been through, it was almost positive that the next step would be for them start dating. He looked at her expectantly, expecting to hug her any moment and kiss her too.  
  
"Chris that's so sweet--"  
  
"Thanks," he said.  
  
"But, I'm sorry, I thought you really wanted to be friends, that's what I wanted, to just be friends," she told him, her face pouting as she saw his face crumble.  
  
"Oh," he said, feeling crestfallen.  
  
"I don't mean to hurt you, it's just...Christian..."  
  
"Oh," he said again, realizing what she meant, "Well, that's that then, I'm sorry I wasted your time."  
  
"Oh Chris," she said, rushing to him, "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I'm so sorry."  
  
"No, it's fine, I mean, two of my friends getting together, it's great!" he said, trying to sound upbeat, but really just sounding pathetic.  
  
"I'm sorry again," she said, "Please, can we still be friends?"  
  
There was the death knell sentence to the entire thing. The "let's be friends" line, and here he was on the receiving end of it. No, he didn't want to be her friend, he wanted to be her boyfriend, but no, she had been snatched up. He should've expected it; he should've prepared himself better for it. Who was he kidding anyways? Trish was too good for him.  
  
"Yeah, sure, whatever," he said, still holding those stupid flowers, "See ya."  
  
"Bye Chris."  
  
So now here he was driving to the one place he knew he would find sanctuary. He could go there and hide from his embarrassment, free from the stares and whispers that he imagined he'd get as everyone pitied him. At least where he was going, only one person would be looking at him, and he didn't mind that.  
  
He found himself at the front door, ringing the doorbell a few times so it could be heard. He could hear footsteps coming down the stairs and was glad that someone was home, unless that was just the dog, but he knew Sam would not walk to the door, but rumble loudly.  
  
The door was opened a second later and he met the surprised face of his best friend. He gave them a long look and noticed the pants they were wearing, gray sweat pants, and he reached out to tug on them lightly. They were rolled up a little at the waist because they were a few sizes too big.  
  
"You're wearing my pants," he said lightly.  
  
"You left them here. Therefore, they're up for grabs."  
  
"Oh, is that how it goes, whatever clothes are here are just yours for the taking?"  
  
"Yes, now why the hell are you at my front door?"  
  
"I need a place to stay for the weekend, can I stay with you?" he said, giving his best puppy dog look.  
  
"You never have to ask, get your cute ass in here."  
  
He smiled and walked inside taking his coat and hanging it in its usual spot in the hall closet. He closed the door and set his suitcase down, intending to put it in his usual bedroom later. He had spent many a night here, spent many a day here too. In fact, it was almost like his second home.  
  
Yeah, so what, he spent a lot of time at Stephanie McMahon's house. She was his best friend.  
  
He took his first good look at Stephanie and saw that not only was she wearing his sweatpants; she was wearing the new Jericho shirt. She must've gotten one from her mother or something. She was wearing a white tank top underneath; he could see it through her shirt. Her long hair was pulled into a messy bun and she had her contacts out and her glasses on. This was the Stephanie that nobody but him got to see.  
  
"So really, what are you doing here?" she asked, tossing him a beer as she walked over from the kitchen.  
  
"Got rejected," he told her, popping open the top of his beer.  
  
"Oh, you told the blonde bombshell?" she said, using the nickname she had come up with for Trish, as they walked into the living room. Stephanie took her usual spot on the couch and Chris took off his shoes before sitting on the other end. Stephanie moved to put her feet on his lap, just like usual.  
  
"Yeah, and let me see, how do I put it? It went terribly. Not only does she not like me like that, she wants Christian."  
  
"Ooh, burn," Stephanie said, peering at him over her glasses, "I'm sorry."  
  
"Yeah, I know, it's fine though, you know, she was too good for me anyways."  
  
"Oh please, you know that's not true," Stephanie said, "You're the best guy I know, you're too good for her if anything."  
  
"You're just saying that because you have to."  
  
"Sweetie, if you were buying me dinner, than maybe I'd say it because I had to, but you are drinking my beer, sitting on my couch, and sleeping in my house tonight, I'm saying it because it's true."  
  
"Yeah, but you're also wearing my pants, and my shirt, so you know, unless you want to walk around in your tank top and panties, than you would agree with me."  
  
"Yeah, like you'd want to see that."  
  
"Yeah, just one more hot little thing I can't have," he winked.  
  
"You're crazy Snooks," she said, using her pet name for him, and then taking a sip of her beer, "You'll get over the blonde bombshell, there's a girl out there for you somewhere."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"Because I know."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Because I know!" she said, getting impatient with him, "Don't worry about the blonde bombshell, she doesn't know what's she missing."  
  
"Stephers, you have the capacity to make me feel better, and I don't know how you do it," he told her, using his name for her.  
  
"Because I know you Snooks, you're just upset, but knowing you, you'll be back in the dating field in no time at all. I mean, with that cute little face, how could any girl resist?" she said, leaning over to pinch Chris's cheek.  
  
"I feel like I've dated every single girl on the planet," he told her, "And none of them seem to want me, and the ones that want me, I don't want them. I'm never going to find that perfect person."  
  
"Things don't change in a second Snooks, not things like this anyways, you have to give them time."  
  
"I guess," he sighed, "But you're the only girl I feel like I really know, do you get what I mean Stephers?"  
  
"Yeah," she sighed, "I get what you mean."  
  
"I knew you would, you're the only one who would know."  
  
"We're pathetic," she said, "We're like the Babe Ruth of pathetic, we set up the pathetic and then we hit line drives, sending them every which way. We're so damn pathetic."  
  
He looked at her. She was always coming up with these crazy metaphors and sayings. It was just one of things he liked about her. She had been his best friend since the day he had walked into the company and she had spilled hot chocolate all over him. She had apologized about a million times, following him around all night saying she was sorry. He finally had to tell her when they reached his hotel room that she needed to leave.  
  
She never left, and here she sat, her feet propped up on his lap, watching the Disney channel and laughing at the cartoon they were playing right now. He was glad that she had spilt on him actually, if he had known this was how far they would go. She was amazing, his entire support system wrapped up in one person. She knew him inside out and called him on everything. She was different around everyone else, but around him, she was something that could only be considered her true self.  
  
"We should go to Disneyland," she laughed as she watched the Mickey cartoon, "Think of how much fun we'd have."  
  
"Yeah, riding all the kiddie rides," he chuckled.  
  
"They're not kiddie, they're fun," she said, "And you weren't saying they were kiddie last time we went."  
  
"Well, I was younger last time we went, I hadn't matured."  
  
"Oh, and you've matured now, yeah, that something I'm going to have to argue."  
  
"And what forum shall we use? Should we have a formal debate?"  
  
"Oh but of course," she said in a posh, clipped tone, "And make sure you have all your pie charts and diagrams."  
  
"What would a debate be without those?" he joked, then turned to her, "Thanks for taking my mind off Trish."  
  
"Eh, no problem," she shrugged, "I'm your best friend, it's what we do. Besides, they'll be other blonde bombshells."  
  
"Or brunette bombshells," he said quietly, looking over at her.  
  
"Yeah, or redheaded ones, or raven-haired ones, or if you're real lucky, blue-haired ones," she said, "Now that's something I'd like to see."  
  
"If you think so, I'll go look out exclusively for the blue-haired girls."  
  
"That's all I'm saying, go for the wild ones," she said, punching him lightly in the arm.  
  
He looked at her and smiled. Whenever he needed a boost, or a kind word, there she was. He leaned over and pushed her glasses up her nose, since they were falling down her face. She gave him a kooky look and he made a funny face back at her. They settled back into their positions and watched the rest of the cartoon. He looked at Stephanie briefly and then looked back at the television.  
  
"You know, at least I tried with Trish."  
  
"Yeah, at least you tried, and that's saying a lot," Stephanie said, "Don't worry about it Snooks, you'll come out of this fine."  
  
He looked at her.  
  
"Yeah, I will." 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys, always appreciated. And as far as I know, or have heard, Stephanie does wear glasses. :)  
  
~  
  
"You look like shit."  
  
"What part of me looks the worst, because then I'll fix that so you can't say I look like complete shit," Chris told her with a smile.  
  
"Well, your hair for one," Stephanie answered, "I mean, it's like you've got a case of bed-head, mixed in with a tad of hat-hair, and then after that you stuck your finger in a light socket and electrocuted yourself."  
  
"You know Stephers, it would've sufficed if you had just said, 'your hair looks bad.'"  
  
"Yeah, but don't you want a description of HOW your hair looks? I mean, you can't see it, there's no mirror right here, you could have the best hair on the planet right now and I could be lying to you."  
  
Chris stalked over to her and she got that scared look on her face. She screamed as he grabbed her by the waist and then put her in a headlock. She tried to squirm her way out of his grasp but he had a firm hold on her. He started ruffling her hair and she screamed at him, crying uncle.  
  
"Let me go!" she screamed.  
  
Chris let go of Stephanie and saw her hair, which was now sticking up all over the place, "Now look at YOUR hair."  
  
"I hate you Snooks," she said, sitting on top of the counter, "Now make my food."  
  
"One of these days Stephers, you are going to have to learn how to cook," Chris said as he flipped a pancake over.  
  
"Why should I learn how to cook when you're here all the time cooking for me?"  
  
"Stephers, I swear, one day I'm going to tell you to go away. I've been trying to get you to leave me alone for four years."  
  
"And I haven't left you alone for one second have I?"  
  
"Nope, not one second," he said, sticking his tongue out at her, "Go get your plate so I may serve you."  
  
"Ooh, I love those words coming out of your mouth, you may serve me, makes you sound like my servant or something."  
  
"Or your slave," he told her.  
  
"The only kind of slave I want you to be is a sex slave," she told him, slapping his ass as she went to get a plate from her cabinet, "You been working out Snooks, your ass seems firmer since the last time I touched it."  
  
"Yeah, you know me, everyday I'm breaking out my Buns of Steel tape."  
  
"I knew it."  
  
"You might want to check it out sometime."  
  
Stephanie's arms rose to her hips as she regarded him, her jaw dropping, "Are you saying my ass is fat?"  
  
"Turn around and let me get a better look," he told her, smirking lecherously.  
  
She gave him a look that said she wasn't afraid of his little challenge. She turned around and pulled up her shirt a little, giving her ass a little shake for extra effect. Chris laughed and leaned over to give her butt a little slap and she acted all offended, putting her mouth over her agape mouth.  
  
"Naughty boy," Stephanie said, "Slapping girl's asses."  
  
"Only the girls who want them slapped."  
  
She grabbed her plate and walked back over to him, "Lay it on me Chef Jericho."  
  
"Lay what on you?"  
  
"Food, before my stomach jumps out of my body and strangles you for starving it."  
  
"Well, I better feed you. I don't want my death certificate to say 'Death by strangulation of runaway body parts.' Think of how humiliating that would be."  
  
"I know, I mean, I want to go out with dignity...being run over by a car full of clowns," she mused dreamily.  
  
"Oh yes, everyone's dream death," Chris said, putting food on Stephanie's plate, "But if you're going that way, I get to go that way too."  
  
"Fine, you can be standing next to me as we're hit, or play the heroic Prince Charming trying to save the damsel-in distress, except we both get hit by guys with big red noses and face paint."  
  
"Ahh, what a way to go..."  
  
He grabbed some food for himself and sat down at the table with her. They ate silently, only interrupting each other when they wanted to gross the other one out. Every time he was with Stephanie, which was a lot, he was always laughing, always happy and care-free. She was the only one who could possibly do that to him. He thought Trish would be able to, but she wanted nothing to do with him.  
  
"Stephers, what's wrong with me?"  
  
Stephanie looked up, mid-chew and stared at him strangely before finishing her bite and swallowing, "What do you mean Snooks?"  
  
"I mean, I've never had a girlfriend that lasted more than a few months. Ever since I started the company, I've been with maybe, three women that I could even kind of consider serious, and nothing ever came of those. Is there something wrong with me? You can be honest...wait, what am I saying, you're never anything but honest."  
  
Stephanie looked at him a moment, studying his features, her brow furrowed in thought. He rarely saw the serious side of her outside of the workplace. She stayed silent for a few minutes and Chris couldn't help but think that maybe Stephanie was coming up with some long mental list of problems with him.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
He looked at her, "Nothing?"  
  
"There's nothing wrong with you. I mean, you have your flaws and your quirks, but look at me, that's all I'm about...there's nothing wrong with you, I promise that's the truth."  
  
"Then why doesn't any girl want me?"  
  
"They're intimidated by you," she suggested, "I mean, there you are, this totally hot guy, and it's a little daunting."  
  
"Oh, I guess so."  
  
"Besides, you do have a girl that wants you...me," she told him, giving him a grin, "And you're not getting rid of me!"  
  
"Yeah, fortunately for me...and for you, since you don't want to starve."  
  
"Look Snooks, stop thinking about the blonde bombshell."  
  
"But I'm going to have to go to Raw and see her."  
  
"Yeah, it won't be that bad, I'll be there," she said, "And you can come running to me with the tears streaming down your face, and I'll hand you a tissue."  
  
"Will you wipe my eyes for me, and hold the tissue as I blow my nose?"  
  
She made a face, "Sure, if that's what you need."  
  
"You know what," he said, his eyes lighting up, "You should pretend to be my girlfriend and then make Trish jealous until she wants me!"  
  
Stephanie did a classic spit take with her water, and Chris made a face as some of her water landed on his food. Then he shrugged and started eating again. He had swapped spit with Stephanie on-screen, he didn't care if she got his food a little damp. He looked up at her as he chewed.  
  
"Snooks, are you out of your ever loving mind! This is not some movie where a lame plan like that would work. Where do you get these crazy ideas?"  
  
"I just thought it might work," he shrugged, "Can you blame me Stephers? You know how much I like her."  
  
Stephanie's look softened as she reached for her napkin. She brought it up to Chris's cheek and wiped away some syrup collected at the corner of his mouth. She did know how much he liked Trish, she had been all he talked about for the past few months. Ever since her father had started that storyline between them, Chris had confessed to having a major crush on her, even though now it seemed Christian had done the exact same thing.  
  
"Yeah, I know," she said, giving him a soft look, "Snooks, you'll get over her, I promise."  
  
"I don't know Stephers, I really liked her," Chris told her, sighing in what was most likely defeat.  
  
"Who's to say she'd even really hit it off with Christian?" Stephanie said to him, "Maybe they go out on one date and she finds him a complete dud and not her type at all. Then she comes to you and you find that one true love that you've been searching for lo these...what are you now, forty-three, forty-five?"  
  
"Yeah Stephers, I'm forty-five, so what would that make you, thirty-eight?"  
  
"God forbid Snooks!" she cried, "All I'm saying, is don't count on the inevitable when it hasn't happened yet. You will find that one true love."  
  
"Oh, I've already found her," Chris said.  
  
"Oh really, you actually expect me to believe that you consider the blonde bombshell your one true love and you haven't even been on a date with her? Next you'll be telling me that dinosaurs exist again, or that Hunter wants me back," she giggled.  
  
"Even if Asshole did want you back, there's no way in hell I'd ever let you get back together with him, I'd marry you before I'd let you go back to him," Chris said, a dark, sinister quality overtaking his voice.  
  
Stephanie gave him a kindly look, "Snooks, it's over now, you don't have to get so angry about it now."  
  
"After what that asshole did to you, and tried to do, no chance in hell am I ever giving him any leniency."  
  
"Yeah, and why do you think we haven't scheduled any matches for you against him?" Stephanie said, giving him a look, "We know you'll go crazy on him."  
  
"It's the least he deserves," Chris muttered as he chewed angrily on a piece of bacon.  
  
Stephanie put her hand on his arm, stopping him from chewing straight through the bacon and to his arm, "Snooks, what have I told you about that? Hunter and I are over, I see him for what he is and that's all there is to it. It's over now, we fixed it."  
  
"Yeah, I know Stephers, it's not the 'taking over the company' part that bothers me so much as it was the fact that he tried to get you to stop hanging out with me," he said bitterly.  
  
"Yeah, but nobody is ever going to tear apart Snooks," Stephanie said, "Not even your true love...the blonde bombshell herself."  
  
"She wasn't who I was talking about," Chris told her.  
  
"Oh, ok, so then who is?" Stephanie asked.  
  
"You," he said simply as a small smile came over her face.  
  
"Me?" she asked incredulously with a hint of teasing in his voice.  
  
"You must be, you're the only girl I can truly stand and you're the only girl that actually sticks around," he told her, grinning widely.  
  
She laughed, "Ok then, I'm your true love, why aren't we sleeping together?"  
  
"Oh to preserve the sanctity of our relationship of course," he said, "We can't mar such harmony with the pleasure of sensual delights."  
  
Stephanie gave him a strange look, thinking that was crazy. But she just shook her head and went back to eating her breakfast. Chris gave her shoulder a little shove before going back to his own breakfast. Tomorrow was Sunday and then Monday would roll around and he'd have to see Trish. He wasn't looking forward to it, but unless he quit the company he had no choice...unless he got sent over to SmackDown. There was always a possibility. He hated asking Stephanie for favors, considering she was the boss's daughter and enough people already thought he probably used her to get ahead in the company. He had never used Stephanie, not once. Most people thought that was how he had gotten to be the first Undisputed Champion, but he had earned that just like every other person who had been a champion. Except for maybe Hunter, but Stephanie had insisted none of the past indiscretions about Hunter were to see the light of day.  
  
He was interrupted from his thoughts as Stephanie shoved him back. So distracted was he, that he fell off his chair and landed on his butt on the ground. Stephanie burst into laughter as she saw him sitting there, looking a little dazed as to what had happened. Before she could think to cover herself, Chris grabbed the glass of water off the table and threw it at Stephanie, hitting her squarely in the face. She screamed and jumped up, streams of water flowing off her hair and wetting her t-shirt.  
  
She gave him an angry look and grabbed her own glass of water, throwing it on him. He stood up, prepared for the war and grabbed some eggs and threw them at her. She gritted her teeth and got a glob of jam off her toast and threw it at his face, most of it landing on his cheek.  
  
"Oh that's it McMahon, you are going down," Chris said, lunging for her, but she was a little too quick for him.  
  
"Weren't expecting me to be so stealthy, huh, Jericho!" she said as she grabbed a pancake and launched it at him.  
  
He ducked out of the way and grabbed some butter, throwing it and hitting her forehead, "Ha! Take that!"  
  
Stephanie growled and wiped her forehead clean. She grabbed the syrup and ran around trying to dump it on him. Chris screamed at her, telling her that she better not get any of that in his hair. She caught up with him and squirted some all over her face. He wiped his face and took his sticky hands and grabbed her, spreading it all over her face in revenge.  
  
They fell to the ground in a laughing heap, both covered in their breakfast. Stephanie took her finger and ran it over Chris's nose then licked the syrup off his face. She made a yummy sound and he laughed and did the same for her.  
  
"Now this is the way to eat breakfast," Chris laughed.  
  
"Snooks, you're a walking buffet table," she told him, "Now I'm going to have to go try to wash all this shit off."  
  
"Yeah, me too," he said, "How about we just share a shower, save time and water?"  
  
She nodded, "Oh of course, we should do that, because you know, that's the right thing to do, I've always wanted to see you naked."  
  
"I know you have Stephers," he said raising an eyebrow.  
  
They got up and Chris picked up Stephanie, throwing her over his shoulder. She squealed in surprise at him lifting her up. He took her upstairs and into her bedroom, which unsurprisingly was a complete mess. She had never been one to be all neat and organized, no matter how many people thought she was.  
  
"Geez Stephers, have you ever heard the words clean up?"  
  
"What are you doing?" she asked as they walked into the bathroom.  
  
"Sharing a shower with you," he said, "I thought that's what we agreed upon."  
  
"I am not sharing a shower with you!" she screeched loudly.  
  
"What? Huh? I've lost all sense of hearing....what was that?" he said, pretending to be hard of hearing.  
  
"You know you heard me!"  
  
"Aww, are you shy Stephers? I'm sure you have a lovely body," he joked.  
  
"Snooks, put me down!"  
  
She kept screaming and he calmly put her down. She glared at him and he shrugged, starting to pull his pants down. She grabbed it and pulled it back up. He gave her an innocent look, blinking his eyes comically. She pushed him out of the door, but finding it hard since he was so much bigger.  
  
"Snooks," she whined, "Go away!"  
  
"But I need a shower," he protested.  
  
"Go take one in your bathroom!" she said, still pushing him.  
  
"Damn, and I was so looking forward to taking one with you," he said, snapping his fingers, "Next time then."  
  
"Oh yeah, next time," she said snidely, "At this rate, I'm not coming to Raw on Monday and you'll have to deal with the blonde bombshell by yourself!"  
  
"Damn, I hate it when you have stuff to hold over my head!" he said.  
  
She slammed the door in his face. 


	3. Chapter 3

Here he was, at Raw, and he'd have to face them. He wasn't sure if he would be able to do it. Trish and Christian, it just sounded so wrong to him, Chris and Trish, now that sounded much better. Who needed that extra "tian"? It was stupid. He wished that he had Stephanie's strength. She was capable of doing anything, he was so sure of that. But he wasn't like her, he knew it was going to hurt.  
  
He walked down the hallway and it felt like everyone's eyes were on him. They couldn't possibly know that he had foolishly confessed his feelings for Trish. Trish wouldn't have blabbed that, would she? He was probably just being paranoid, nobody was looking at him, they were all just engrossed in their own conversation. He wondered what Stephanie was up to.  
  
Stephanie sat at a desk with her parents. They were going over new talent. Well, her parents were, they barely noticed she was there, but she hadn't expected anything different. Her and her parents had never had the kind of relationship she thought parents should have. They were cold and business- like, and she was really outgoing and kind of "flippy" as Chris always told her. She didn't know what that meant, but she took it as a compliment.  
  
They had never agreed with any of the choices she had made for herself. They hadn't wanted her to join the business, thinking that she would be more suited as someone's wife. She always thought that was just a thinly veiled insult for calling her stupid. She didn't let that get to her though and had worked hard for the company, proving her worth ten-fold. But her parents would always just see her as the girl who had been engaged and didn't get married like they wanted her to.  
  
She had thought Hunter would be good for her, mostly because her parents loved him. Loved him, they adored him, they had hand selected him to date her. She had been mildly happy. Hunter was outgoing like she was and they had a good time, but he wasn't her one true love. She loved to believe in all that fate stuff, but it just wasn't there for her and Hunter...maybe it was the fact he had used her the entire time and had no less than five other women he had been sleeping with.  
  
"Dad, I really think that we should pass on this guy," Stephanie said, looking once again at a tape of a new wrestler.  
  
"Stephanie, he's a big guy and he's intimidating," Vince told her.  
  
"Yeah, I know, but he barely knows how to run off the ropes, do you really want to spend time and money having to teach him to learn how to wrestle?" she argued.  
  
"He has potential," Vince said, defending his stance.  
  
"I don't think he does Dad."  
  
"Well, my say goes, I am the president of the company."  
  
Stephanie sighed; she shouldn't have expected anything else to come from her father's mouth. Her mother sent her a warning look, silently telling her to drop it. Whatever her father said did go, and she hated it. She frowned in defeat and leaned her chin in her hand. She was never going to change their minds.  
  
"Is that what you wear to work?" Linda asked, looking Stephanie over for about the fiftieth time that evening. Stephanie knew it was only a matter of time before her mother started in on her; she had caught the looks.  
  
"What's wrong with it?" Stephanie asked, looking down at her low-cut black cargo pants and belly-baring t-shirt.  
  
"Don't you think you should project a more professional image? You are management and you should act like it. You don't see Shane walking around in shorts and tank tops do you?"  
  
Stephanie groaned, "Shane has no life, no spark. Why should I aspire to be like him when all he does it sit in his office and work?"  
  
"He's good at what he does," Linda told her, "All I'm saying is that you can benefit from a little makeover."  
  
"Oh my God, you know, I've tried so hard to break free of this mold you want for me. I'm not your clone, I'm not a doll that you can dress up and make do whatever you want! I'm sorry I'm not the perfect kid you wanted, I'm sorry I'm not Shane, but jeez, give me a damn break every once in a while."  
  
"Don't take that tone with us young lady," Vince said, his tone serious.  
  
"I'm not taking any tone, every time I speak, I have a tone, every time I get dressed it's wrong, I'm sorry I'm not what you want me to be," she said, angry tears in her eyes.  
  
Stephanie slammed her papers down on the desk and left the room. Every single time she had to deal with them, it ended the same way, with a fight. Most of the time it was her that stormed out, while her parents sat there stoically, looking as if they had expected this to happen because she wasn't exactly like them, snobby and upper-crust. She walked down the hallway to her office, trying to seek a little solace.  
  
She walked inside and laughed at what she saw. Chris knew she had a meeting with her parents and he knew what went on at them, and how she always felt afterwards. Such were the benefits of having a best friend. The room was filled with balloons with little smiley faces drawn on them, and on her desk sat three large pizza boxes and soda. She walked to her desk and saw there was a note on top of one of the pizzas.  
  
"Got three pizzas, one for me, one for you, and one to throw at your parents when they walk by, I'm sure your dad would throw a fit if he had a slice of pepperoni slide down his face. Oh, and I got ice cream cake! But it's at the hotel, we'll eat it later.  
  
P.S. I'm right behind you."  
  
Stephanie turned around and saw Chris there, with a huge grin on his face. She shook her head and opened one of the pizza boxes. She took a deep breath, the smell tantalizing. He knew her weakness was pizza. She took out a slice, it was still warm and the gooey cheese hung in strings from the sides as she took a big bite.  
  
"Thanks," she said as she swallowed the bite.  
  
"Hey, I know how it is," he said, sitting in her chair, "So what was it this time Stephers?"  
  
"My clothes," she said, "My mom was telling me I need to dress more professionally. In a profession where the employees wear spandex and briefs."  
  
"I think you look wonderful Stephers," Chris said getting up and touching her hair, "Curled tonight...hmm, this isn't your usual style, got a hot date tonight?"  
  
"No," she said, blushing as he started to pull the hair clips holding her hair back, "What are you doing?"  
  
"Let it flow freely," Chris said, "You look much better like that. So...who are you trying to impress?"  
  
"Why you my dear friend, I've had these feelings for you for so long and I just couldn't deny them any longer."  
  
"Wow, this is a surprise, so where should we fuck?"  
  
She shoved him away, "Sick!"  
  
"So really, who's the lucky boy?"  
  
"Nobody," she said, blushing.  
  
"Stephers has a crush, Stephers has a crush," Chris teased, lightly pulling on her hair.  
  
"I do not, I just wanted to look nice," she said haughtily.  
  
"Oh yes, for me perhaps? Because I've seen you while you've had the flu and were throwing up at all hours of the day, so it must be to make up for all those times you looked like shit around me, oh thanks Stephers!"  
  
Chris embraced her and she just laughed and ate her pizza over his shoulder. Chris pulled away and pretended to wipe away pizza grease from off his shoulder. He grabbed a piece of pizza from his box and started eating. They ate in silence for a while, Stephanie taking bites from his food, but that wasn't unusual.  
  
"So really, who's it for?" he asked, no mocking this time.  
  
"You have to promise not to laugh, and I swear to God, if you laugh, I'm going to throw that third box at you."  
  
"Ok, fine, but I reserve the right to snicker inappropriately."  
  
Stephanie looked down for a moment, "Randy."  
  
"NO!" Chris said loudly, her words shocking him, which was difficult with Stephanie, "When did this happen?"  
  
"Nothing's happened," she said, "He just called me yesterday, when you were in the backyard with Sam. I was as shocked as you were, but you know, I thought about it, and Snooks, it's time to move on."  
  
Chris was a little bit hurt that she hadn't told him about this as soon as it happened, "Why didn't you tell me he called?"  
  
"And incur the wrath of Jericho? No thanks, besides, it was just a friendly call."  
  
"Well, it was a little more than friendly obvious, since you actually got dressed up for him."  
  
"You call this dressed up?" she asked, looking down at her outfit.  
  
"Well, you did your hair up," he pointed out.  
  
"So I want to look nice for a guy, it's not the end of the world Snooks," she said, patting his cheek, "But don't be jealous alright?"  
  
"Stephers, the man is friends with Hunter."  
  
"No, he's not," she said, "He has a storyline where he's friends with Hunter, he by no means is friends with Hunter. And now that that's settled, I want to eat my pizza before it gets cold."  
  
"I just worry about you."  
  
"Then worry while eating pizza, or else I'm going to eat both of them."  
  
"Pig," he said.  
  
"Oink oink," she retorted, shoving almost half a slice in her mouth.  
  
"You disgust me."  
  
She just smiled and continued eating. After he had finished a few slices he told her that he had to go get ready for the show and she shooed him out of the door, making him promise not to tell anyone anything about why she was looking slightly better than usual. After swearing on his life, she let him leave. He walked out of the room and started walking to his own room, feeling like going back to Stephanie the entire time. It was always more fun than her.  
  
He passed by Randy in the hallway and gave the man a look. So this was the guy that his best friend wanted to date. He had his suspicions about him, but he wouldn't bother Stephanie with those unless Randy gave him something to worry about. He didn't want to be overprotective of Stephanie, but somebody had to be, her family surely didn't care about her.  
  
"Hey Chris," Randy called out, "I've been wanting to talk to you."  
  
"Me?" Chris asked.  
  
"Yeah, you," he said, walking over, "Look, I called Stephanie last night, to talk."  
  
"Alright."  
  
"Now, I know you two have something going on--"  
  
Chris sighed, everyone was always assuming things about his and Stephanie's relationship. They thought they were just sleeping together, or they were just friends, or they were dating, or they were using each other, or they were on the verge of marriage. It was always something with them, they had heard everything in the book. It didn't matter to them because they knew the real status of their relationship, but it did get tiresome having to explain to everyone what they were.  
  
"There's nothing going on between us," Chris explained, "We're just friends."  
  
"Oh great, because I've been wanting to ask her out, but I didn't want to step on any toes."  
  
"Nope, no toes being stepped on."  
  
"Good, then I was just wondering, um, some stuff about Stephanie, you know, cause I was going to ask her out."  
  
"Oh, what do you want to know?"  
  
"Well, I was wondering, what kind of food does she like? Like if I wanted to take her out, where would I take her."  
  
Chris thought about telling him the wrong thing, just because he thought that Randy wasn't the right type for Stephanie. Stephanie needed someone who was more grounded, and able to put up with her. Despite everything, he knew that Stephanie was a mystery, and difficult to figure out. But he couldn't do that, Stephanie deserved to be happy, even if it was with this yuppy.  
  
"She really likes Mexican, just don't put too many margaritas in front of her, she likes them, too much in fact," Chris said, "And if I find out you did give her too much too drink and you did do something to her, then I will personally make sure that you aren't able to touch a girl ever again."  
  
"Dude, I just wanted to take her out," Randy said.  
  
"I know, I'm just giving you fair warning, you date Stephanie, you have to get along with me."  
  
"I figured that," Randy nodded, "Look, I'm not going to take advantage of her."  
  
"You better not, I have ways of finding things out, and even if I didn't, Stephanie tells me everything there is to know anyways."  
  
"That's good, I'm glad she has a good friend."  
  
"The BEST friend," Chris corrected, "Just making sure that you know that. And this conversation never happened."  
  
"Absolutely," Randy said, "Don't remember a thing."  
  
Chris watched him walk off with a bit of trepidation. He knew that he was a little bit overboard just then, but he felt it was very warranted. Stephanie had been through too much with Hunter and now he was always looking out for her, it just came with the job he supposed.  
  
He kept walking and was thankful that he hadn't seen Trish yet. He could only imagine how awkward their meeting would be. He had practically bared his soul to her and she had rejected him, that wasn't an easy thing to get over. Hopefully, the night wouldn't have him doing anything with Trish, he didn't think he could face the embarrassment right now.  
  
He kept walking slowly, dragging his feet a little. His steps grew heavier as he thought about Trish and Christian. Why did Christian have to have such an active part in this storyline anyways? It should've just been him and Trish and nobody else. Then Christian and her wouldn't have realized they had any sort of feelings for each other and then Chris could've asked her out and then he'd be happy instead of walking dejectedly down the hallway.  
  
Suddenly he felt someone jump on his back and he quickly recovered his balance before he completely fell face forward onto the floor. He knew the squeal well and simply put his arms under her legs and looked over his shoulder. Stephanie was standing there, red faced and out of breath.  
  
"You will not believe what just happened!"  
  
"Let me guess...you found a cure for the common cold!"  
  
"Yup, you know, I was just in my laboratory," she joked, "Randy asked me out!"  
  
"Congratulations Stephers."  
  
"Isn't this great news Snooks? Aren't you happy for me?"  
  
"Of course I'm happy for you, aren't I always happy for you?"  
  
"Uh huh," she nodded emphatically.  
  
"Of course, I know that it doesn't take a lot to make you happy, but I'm glad you're happy."  
  
"Thanks," she said, leaning over to kiss his cheek, "So where are we going?"  
  
"We're going to my dressing room."  
  
"Ooh, fun, but my office has balloons, does your dressing room have balloons?"  
  
"As a matter of fact," he said as he went to his dressing room, and opened the door to see balloons littering the floor, "I do, what fun is a day that doesn't include balloons?"  
  
"No fun at all," Stephanie said with a grin and then looked forward, "Ooh, Snooks, blonde bombshell straight ahead."  
  
Chris looked up, and there she was. Trish Stratus, the object of his affection, the woman of his dreams, the one he desired. She was staring back at him, and he was entranced by her. She looked so beautiful, in a black and white dress that accentuated her curves. It wasn't a fancy dress, but it was beautiful on her. He almost dropped Stephanie as he stared at Trish. Stephanie leaned down to his ear.  
  
"Go talk to her Snooks, while you have the chance." 


	4. Chapter 4

Chris slowly put Stephanie down on the ground. Trish was looking at him and he had a hard time tearing himself away from gazing in her direction. Finally, he did, and turned to Stephanie who was giving him a little smirk, knowing exactly what he was feeling. He tried to make his face impassive, but nothing ever got by Stephanie; she knew him too well for that.  
  
"You look like an idiot," she told him seriously, "That grin has got to go."  
  
"I do not."  
  
"Not what? Not know my name because staring at Trish has rendered you dumb?"  
  
"Ha! Not grinning."  
  
"Yeah, sure, so why don't you go talk to her?"  
  
"And say what? Hi, I made a fool out of myself in confessing my feelings to you, but hey."  
  
"That'd work," she said with a nod, "Or you could just say 'hi.' But that's probably over thinking it right?"  
  
"Hi? My lead-in is going to be hi?"  
  
"Too hard to pronounce?"  
  
"It probably will be when I go over to her."  
  
"Oh give me a break!"  
  
Stephanie had had enough of Chris's indecision and decided to take it upon herself to do something. She shoved Chris in the chest, causing him to stumble backwards and closer to Trish. Chris looked at her and she just shrugged. She walked into his dressing room and left him alone in the hallway, with Trish. He walked shyly over to Trish.  
  
"Hi," he said, laughing inwardly that he had remembered how to pronounce it.  
  
"Hey Chris," she said warmly, "You and Stephanie always look so happy."  
  
"Well, she is rather...outgoing."  
  
"You make a great couple."  
  
"Oh, we're not a couple," he explained, "We're just best friends."  
  
"Really? I thought that was just to cover up your relationship from her parents. I know they don't exactly get along," she said delicately.  
  
"No, I'm not with her, I've never wanted to. Not that she isn't great, she is!" he said loudly, "And gorgeous and very, very smart!"  
  
"Wow," Trish said, her brow furrowed, "She sounds...amazing."  
  
He leaned in closer to her, "She's listening on the other side of the door."  
  
Trish giggled, "How do you know?"  
  
"I've been friends with Stephanie for almost four years, and when you spend as much time with someone as I do with her, you know things about them."  
  
"So you two aren't...together?"  
  
"No..."  
  
"I thought you were," Trish said, "You know, I might have to reconsider that thing you told me last week. I swear I thought you were dating Stephanie."  
  
Chris smiled lightly. He was trying to contain his utter excitement at her words. If she thought that he and Stephanie were more than friends, and now she knew that they weren't, and she had just changed her mind on what he had said. Maybe the tide was finally turning his way.  
  
"Well, you can ask her if you don't believe me," he said, "She'll talk your ear off about how wrong you are, but you'll get the gist of it in the first sentence."  
  
"You know, I'm free after the show on next Monday, so if maybe you wanted to go out, and see if maybe there's something between us, I definitely would be up for that," she said with a small smile.  
  
"Really?"  
  
He was in disbelief over what she was saying. Was it not that long ago that she was telling him that she wasn't interested in him? All because she thought that he was with Stephanie, it seemed almost insane. Maybe he needed to start wearing a nametag that said, "Hi my name is Chris, and NO, I'm not with Stephanie." Then maybe people would get the picture about his and Stephanie's relationship. When would people get the fact that guys and girls could be strictly friends?  
  
"Yes, that is, if you're up to it?'  
  
"Of course I am!" he said, sounding way too excited, and then calmly said, "Yeah, I don't have anything planned."  
  
She giggled at his excitement, "Great, we'll just meet up after the show. You can get back to Stephanie now, she's probably going to jump you or something."  
  
"Nah, that's only when she's mad at me," he laughed, "I'll see you later."  
  
Trish walked away and Chris watched her leave, following her hips with his eyes. When she turned the corner, he finally tore his eyes away and looked back at his dressing room door. He knew that Stephanie probably had her ear up to the door, listening in on his conversation. It wouldn't be the first time. He walked up to the door, and opened it quickly, sending Stephanie flying and landing her on her butt.  
  
"Oww!"  
  
"That's what you get for eavesdropping," he said with a smirk, "When will you ever learn Stephers?"  
  
"Are you going to get me in a 12-step program where I learn not to eavesdrop?" she asked, "Snooks, I'm admitting I have a problem, please help me!"  
  
He rolled his eyes and went over to give her his hand. She took it and let him pull her up. As soon as she was standing up again, she dusted off her butt and then pulled down her shirt so that it covered up more. Chris just stood there with his arms crossed, waiting for her to finish.  
  
"I think I broke my ass," she said.  
  
"I'll call the doctor, maybe he'll find you a butt cast."  
  
"Yeah, and maybe he can sew your mouth shut while he's here. You know, we can get a two for one deal or something, a doctor's special," she said, rubbing her chin in thought.  
  
"So how much did you hear?"  
  
"The entire thing, you know me and my bionic ears, I hear everything!"  
  
"So you heard," he said, "And?"  
  
"And..."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And..."  
  
"And...do you know any other words in the English language? Or is "And" your new vocabulary?"  
  
"I was thinking that I could get by on just 'and' from now on. I was testing it out on you, you know, see how it goes and all that. How's it working out for you Snooks?"  
  
"Stop," he said firmly.  
  
"Stop?"  
  
"Stop."  
  
"Stop?"  
  
"Stephers, I'm about to throw you over my shoulder and take you back to your dressing room," he warned.  
  
"Oh my God, and will you spank me too!"  
  
"No, I'll save that for Randy."  
  
Stephanie's jaw dropped and she glared at Chris playfully. He gave her a little smirk and she lunged at him, taking him down around the waist. With a yell, Chris grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder like he said he would, but Stephanie managed to get out of the hold and they wrestled each other to the ground, both panting for air when they finally stopped fighting each other.  
  
"You are so rude," she said, "First insulting me, then wrestling me like a common animal, I am a woman, show some manners."  
  
"You're a woman," he said, gasping, "When did this happen? How long have you known this?"  
  
"Since last week."  
  
"So you have a date with Randy Dreamboat, and I--"  
  
"Have a date with the blonde bombshell."  
  
He helped her get up again, "Yup."  
  
"Randy Dreamboat, I like that, you're getting better at this nickname thing Snooks," she said proudly, "I knew you'd come around."  
  
"So we both have dates coming up, something that has not happened in a great long while," he said, "You know what this means don't you?"  
  
She grinned, "No!"  
  
"I think it's time," he responded.  
  
"Is it that special an occasion? Because you know it should only be brought out on the most special of occasions."  
  
"What's better than both of us having dates?"  
  
"Well, it is pretty monumental."  
  
"Then shouldn't we?"  
  
"You're right," she said, "I think it is time."  
  
"The Happy Dance?"  
  
"Oh yeah, it's time for the Happy Dance."  
  
Stephanie giggled as she and Chris started doing their patented happy dance, which consisted of them basically jumping around like idiots and "dancing." To the naked eye it might look like they were having some sort of spasm, but it was their own special thing. They had first debuted the Happy Dance when they found out they were going to be a storyline together, and it had become a strictly special occasion dance.  
  
They both finished while laughing with each other. The dance was just one of the many stupid things they had become accustomed to in the time they had become friends. It was nice to have someone that you could be a total and complete idiot with. Stephanie laughed as she punched Chris playfully in the stomach. He got in a boxing stance and started dodging her "blows."  
  
"Maybe we can even double date," Stephanie said as she ducked under one of Chris's punches.  
  
"No," he said, shaking his head, "Not again."  
  
"Oh come on" she said, grabbing his arms as they tried to grab at her, "it wasn't that bad last time."  
  
"Are you joking with me?"  
  
She protested, "No, it wasn't that bad!"  
  
"Stephers, the karaoke bar?" Chris told her, raising an eyebrow and prompting her to remember.  
  
"Oh come on, that wasn't too bad," she said, "They just couldn't handle us."  
  
"Yeah, but I lost a nice girl because of it."  
  
"Hey, you KNOW that 'Play that Funky Music White Boy' is our song," she told him, "If we are ever anywhere that we can sing it, you know we have to."  
  
"Damn you," he cursed, "Of course we do, what fun is anything if you can't sing that song."  
  
"Complete with 70's dance moves?" she said cocking her head a little.  
  
"You can't sing it without the moves, damn Anna didn't realize that and dumped me, but you know I'd do it all over again."  
  
"You don't have to tell me twice, but maybe this time it would be better because Randy Dreamboat and the blonde bombshell have actually been around us."  
  
"We'll see you goofball," Chris said, grabbing Stephanie around the waist and ruffling up her hair, "Now that the Dreamboat has asked you out, I can mess up your hair."  
  
"Snooks! What if I see him!" Stephanie yelled.  
  
"Then he'll see your morning after sex look," Chris joked around, still ruffling her hair.  
  
"Eww, how would you even know about that?"  
  
"I don't, I'm guessing."  
  
"You're one crazy bastard Snooks."  
  
"Right back at ya Stephers." 


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys, I'm glad you're enjoying the story. :)  
  
~  
  
Chris unlocked the door to the house and walked inside a little bit, it was pretty quiet. He wondered where his parents could be. Their cars were in the driveway, so they had to be home, or at least in the neighborhood. Perhaps they had gone next door or something. He dumped his bag in the hallway near the door.  
  
"Snooks, you know you can't leave it there."  
  
"Oh come on, do you see them anywhere?"  
  
"No, but they'll see it and you'll get in trouble," Stephanie said with a teasing lilt in her voice.  
  
"Oh, what are they going to do, send me to my room?"  
  
"Yup, and you won't get any dessert at dinner," she said, sticking her tongue out, "And then I'll eat it."  
  
"I still don't know where you put all the food you consume," he told her, looking at her, "I mean, you eat like a horse and yet, you're still beautiful."  
  
"Oh, the compliments, they're so wonderful and sincere, I'm falling over the weight of them."  
  
"I didn't even get that," Chris told her.  
  
"What's to get?" she said, trying to confuse him even more.  
  
"I thought I heard voices!" Chris's father peeked his head around the corner and saw them.  
  
Stephanie's face lit up as she ran across the room, where Chris's father embraced her tighter than tight, "Dad!"  
  
"How's my Stephanie?" Ted asked, pulling her away and holding her at arm's length, "Is it possible that you get more beautiful every time I see you?"  
  
"No Dad, I think you're just going blind," Chris said, "Stephers definitely gets uglier as time wears on."  
  
"Don't talk about my girl like that," Ted chastised him lightly, wrapping an arm around Stephanie, "You know she's my favorite girl."  
  
"See Snooks, his favorite girl," she said with a smirk, "So where's Mom?"  
  
"Next door, sharing recipes with the neighbor lady. I'm sure she'll cook up something great tonight."  
  
Stephanie was about as part of the family as one could get without them actually having adopted her. At first, when her and Chris had just become friends, Chris's parents were a little shocked by Stephanie's boisterous and outgoing nature. But over time, they began to love her like a daughter, and she loved them like the parents she had always wanted. They were never cold or harsh towards her and were always affectionate. She started calling them Mom and Dad because it just felt so natural to do so. They regarded her as if they were really her parents.  
  
"Awesome, I'm starved," Stephanie said with a grin.  
  
"When aren't you starved Stephers?"  
  
"Let the girl alone," Ted said, "She's too skinny anyways, you eat up while you're here."  
  
"Oh Dad," Stephanie said, "You will NOT believe what happened to me this week."  
  
"Come into the kitchen and tell me all about it over a cup of hot chocolate, you look so cold, and this will warm you up," he said, starting to walk Stephanie into the kitchen, "And Chris, get your bag and put it in a more appropriate place."  
  
"Ha Snooks, I told you that you'd get caught," Stephanie threw over her shoulder.  
  
"Daddy's girl," he shot back.  
  
Stephanie just laughed as Ted walked Stephanie into the kitchen. Chris got his bag from the foyer and took his and Stephanie's bags up to their rooms. When he came back down again, he could hear the faint traces of laughter wafting in from the kitchen. Walking through the entryway, he saw Stephanie excitedly recounting Randy's phone call and subsequent asking out as she sipped her hot chocolate.  
  
"Snooks, there's a glass for you," she said, pointing to a glass sitting at the place next to her, where he usually sat when they ate dinner.  
  
"Thanks," he said, walking over and sitting down.  
  
"I was just telling Dad about how Randy asked me out, and I know I'm gushing, but I can't help it, he's gush-worthy!" she exclaimed.  
  
Chris laughed, "I wouldn't know about that."  
  
"But Chris has news too, don't you Snooks?" Stephanie said, nudging him with her elbow, "He's got the hots for this girl."  
  
"What girl would that be?" Ted asked.  
  
"Thanks Stephers, why don't you just blab it around?"  
  
"Fine, if you want me to," she said coyly, "You know that girl that he's in the storyline with? Trish?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Chris has a major crush on her, and he asked her out and they're going on a date too," Stephanie said, "You should see him around her Dad, it's like he's lost all his use of body function and has no knowledge of the English language."  
  
"Ahh," Ted said, "I know the feeling."  
  
"I'm glad you two are getting a kick out of this," Chris said, making a face.  
  
"He's just mad," Stephanie said, pinching his cheek.  
  
"I saw a car in the driveway! And I only know two people who would want to come visit us randomly, so when I get in the kitchen they better be ready for a big hug!" Chris's mother yelled out.  
  
Stephanie and Chris stood up as Loretta walked into the room. She looked at Stephanie and Stephanie grinned as she rushed over to hug Loretta tightly. Chris hung back a little, letting the women have their moment before hugging his mother.  
  
"Stephanie, look at you! What is that shirt you're wearing, it barely covers anything," Loretta said as she tried to pull Stephanie's shirt down to cover her up more.  
  
"Mom," she said sweetly, "It's the style."  
  
"What have I told you about giving away the whole farm before they've bought it."  
  
"You know, I'm starting to see where Stephers gets her weird analogies," Chris interjected.  
  
"Oh, you go be with your father for a while, Stephanie and I have a lot of catching up to do."  
  
"They're going to go talk about which stores they're going to hit tomorrow," Ted said as he stood up, "I'm sure every store in the tri-city area will be hit with the whirlwind shopping duo."  
  
"Yup," Stephanie said as they walked out of the room, "Watch out world!"  
  
As soon as they were alone, Ted turned to Chris, "Ok, now let's get the truth."  
  
Chris turned to his father, and looked at him curiously, "The truth?"  
  
"About this Randy fellow, what's he like, is he on drugs or anything, in the mafia?"  
  
"Dad, geez, I know that you're protective of Steph, I am too, but don't you think I would've checked the guy out before I ever let him touch Stephanie?"  
  
"Yeah, but you're you, and I'm the one who's like her father, and I want to know everything there is to know about this boy."  
  
"I don't know what to say, he's not Stephanie's type, I don't know why I say that, but it's true, he's this preppy guy who always gels his hair so it spikes up and stuff."  
  
"You know, I always wanted you and Stephanie to become an item," Ted said, tapping his chin thoughtfully.  
  
"Not you too Dad," Chris said, "Look, I don't know enough about Randy to say he's a bad guy. I just don't think he's Steph's type, but who am I to question what she does?"  
  
"You're her best friend."  
  
"Yeah, and I'm like her older brother, but I'm not going to spy on a guy. If he's a good enough guy, you know she'll bring him here to meet you guys. Then you can see for yourself how he is."  
  
"And how long is that going to be, what about that last boy of hers?"  
  
Chris's eyes turned dark and he stared off into space for a moment. He hated thinking about the time that Stephanie was with Hunter. He had always had bad feelings about that guy, and he definitely lived up to his expectations. And the man had even been invited to his parent's house. He wanted to rip his head off when he found out what he had been doing to Stephanie, but Stephanie had insisted that he didn't, for his job's sake.  
  
"Dad, what did I tell you about that guy?"  
  
"You never did tell me what happened there?" Ted said, folding his arms, "So here your mother and I are left to assume the worst."  
  
"It was the worst," Chris said, shaking his head, "And that's the end of the discussion. Randy can't ever be as bad as Hunter was. So she's already taking a step in the right direction."  
  
"Step in what direction?" Stephanie said as she and Chris's mother descended down the steps.  
  
"Of actually being a functional cog in society."  
  
"Shut up," Stephanie said with a sneer, "Dad, tell him to shut up."  
  
"Chris, shut up," Ted said good-naturedly.  
  
"Why do you always take her side?" Chris whined.  
  
"Don't you?" Ted asked. Chris glared at his father and then at Stephanie who was just batting her eyes innocently. He always took Stephanie's side too. He just couldn't resist her most of the time. Damn having a girl best friend.  
  
"Got me there," he conceded reluctantly.  
  
"Ok you three, get out of the way while I go make dinner, we'll have Mexican tonight," Loretta said, pushing them out of the way on her way to the kitchen.  
  
"Need help dear?" Ted asked.  
  
"Sure," she told him.  
  
"We'll be out back," Chris said as he started to pull Stephanie out in the back. They walked out to the middle of his backyard, and found their usual spots. They laid back on the grass and looked up at the sky, hands behind their heads. This was their spot, where they came to think and talk with each other, without much of the comedy they usually did.  
  
"Do you think you'd marry the blonde bombshell?" Stephanie asked as she watched a cloud roll by.  
  
"Depends on if I fell in love with her," Chris told her, "I don't know, I haven't even been out with her."  
  
"If you fell in love with her, and then she said that you had to choose between you and me, what would you do?"  
  
Chris thought for a moment, "Why would she ask that?"  
  
"Because she felt we were too close," she replied, "And because of that, she wanted you to choose, her or me, and you couldn't take it back."  
  
"And there would be no changing her mind?"  
  
"Nope, she would be very firm about it, and possibly using her seductive nature to persuade you to choose her?"  
  
"What would you do to try and persuade me?"  
  
"Nothing, because I'd try to make it fair on you."  
  
Chris paused, "I'd choose you."  
  
Stephanie turned her head to look at him, surprise on her face, "You would?"  
  
"Of course, there are very few people in this world that you can count on forever, and know that they will always support you. When you find those people, you don't let them go so easily, no matter what happens. And since you came along first, the edge would go to you."  
  
"Wow, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me," Stephanie said, "Maybe, in all honesty I don't remember a lot of things you tell me."  
  
"Good, because I'm sure a lot of it is really stupid."  
  
"I'd do the same for you," she said, "I mean, yeah, I'd do the same."  
  
"I know," he said back, "Because come on, Randy Dreamboat has nothing on me. It's not even a competition."  
  
"Yes, I know, I mean who would be the one to annoy the hell out of me all the time. And wake me up at six o'clock in the morning to watch Winnie the Pooh on the Disney Channel."  
  
"I only do that to annoy you," he laughed, "Since you went through that whole, 'Oh my God, I love Winnie the Pooh, everything I own has to be Tigger related' phase. Pathetic...especially because everyone knows Eeyore is the best character."  
  
"I am NOT getting into another Tigger vs. Eeyore debate with you," she said firmly, "We will never agree."  
  
"Oh please, you know you lost," he said, "Just like you lose every time we fight."  
  
"Only because you're the most persistent bastard on the planet."  
  
"You're calling ME persistent?" he asked incredulously.  
  
"Get your ears checked Snooks."  
  
"Oh, and you're not? You...who followed me around, begging for my forgiveness until I finally had to tell you to leave me the hell alone. You were like the most annoying person on the planet. I couldn't even eat without you finding me. I felt like that episode of "I Love Lucy" you know, where she watched that guy, in Hollywood. Oh my God, you just made me recall an "I Love Lucy" episode...it is time for me to break off this friendship."  
  
"Ha! I KNEW making you watch those episodes would enrich your life," Stephanie said smugly.  
  
"I don't know how I let you talk me into things," Chris said, "It's not like you flash your tits at me."  
  
"Would that get you to do what I want?"  
  
"Hell yeah."  
  
"Note to self: Snooks is easily distracted by boobs," Stephanie said to herself, "Use that to your advantage next time you need your gutters cleaned."  
  
"Stephers, you know I already do all your manual labor jobs," Chris told her, "But if you really want your gutters cleaned, I could help you out with that."  
  
"Gutters are not a euphemism for sex Snooks."  
  
"Damn it, the ONE time that it isn't," he said, grimacing, "Note to self: Stephers really DID want me to clean her gutters. Do not be easily swayed by her flashing you."  
  
"Like I'd flash you," Stephanie said, "In your dreams."  
  
"I've already seen you naked, so it doesn't even matter," Chris responded.  
  
"Only cause you're a pervert."  
  
"Hey! Nobody told me that you were not out of the shower yet, alright! It's not like I wanted to walk in there and see you in the nude. It was an accident."  
  
"Accident my ass..."  
  
"Yes Stephers, your ass was nice, I do remember that much."  
  
Stephanie reached over to give him a swift slap to the chest, "Stop talking about my ass."  
  
"Stop hitting me and I'll stop talking about your ass, and the way it's nicely shaped."  
  
"Fine, fine, fine! Ugh, you need to learn to keep your mouth shut."  
  
"Why? Because flies will fly in it, yeah, I learned that lesson the hard way."  
  
"You know what I was just thinking?"  
  
"If it was how they fill the Hostess cupcakes with crème, then we were so thinking the same thing!"  
  
"No! That's not what I was thinking, besides, I saw on television that they stick the thing up the bottom and spray it, and nobody is the wiser," Stephanie told him.  
  
"Sick!"  
  
"Oh my God, let it go Snooks!"  
  
"Well excuse me then, Miss I'm the Expert on Delicious Snack Cakes. What were you thinking all mighty beautiful Queen Empress of All Things?"  
  
"Heaven help the blonde bombshell and the Dreamboat if they think we'll be easy to date." 


	6. Chapter 6

Stephanie giggled as she pinned her hair up so that it wouldn't fall in her eyes all night long. Chris was lounging on the bed, eating a candy bar and watching her as she tried to get the pin to stay in her hair. He made a funny face at her, and she rolled her eyes at him.  
  
"You know Snooks, instead of sitting on your lazy ass, you can help me."  
  
"But then you would never learn to be self-sufficient, and Stephers, what would you do if you ever found yourself alone?"  
  
"That wouldn't happen now would it, not without my little boy toy to drag around," she said with a coy smile as she walked over to him and pinched his cheek. He swatted her hand away impatiently, "So why aren't you and the blonde bombshell going out tonight?"  
  
"We're going out tomorrow," he shrugged, "I rescheduled."  
  
"Oh did you now," she asked suspiciously, "Why? You don't have anything planned for tonight Snooks..."  
  
"I wanted to wait around for you," he said, then looked at her, "Expected me to try and lie huh? Thought that I'd try to make it seem like I wasn't checking up on you, but I am! I am going to wait around here all night until you get back."  
  
"Great, is this going to be the tree incident all over again?" she asked him.  
  
He frowned at her, "I have no idea what you're talking about."  
  
"Snooks, give it up, I KNOW that you have followed me on numerous dates. But that one time, geez, you have to learn that running from tree to tree trying to follow me IS noticeable!"  
  
He shook his head, "It wasn't that noticeable."  
  
"You fell down and had to get stitches!"  
  
"Fine, be a stickler for details why don't you? Anyways, I had no plans to follow you tonight. I was just going to hang out here and make sure that you got home alright, is that a crime?"  
  
"No, but what if I come here with Randy and I want him to come inside?"  
  
"Why would the Dreamboat come inside?" Chris asked her, his eyes narrowing slightly at the possibility that might happen.  
  
"Because maybe we were having a good time and wanted to--"  
  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Chris said, standing up and walking over to her, putting his hands on her shoulders, "You are not that type of girl, and I'll be damned if you start now."  
  
"Oh give me a break," she said, "I wasn't talking about sex; I was just talking about talking with him or having a cup of coffee or something. Geez Snooks, get your mind out of the gutter."  
  
"But its so nice and cozy there."  
  
"Aww, are you going to be friends with Oscar the Grouch now?" She patted his cheek playfully.  
  
"Are you kidding me, that guy had a freaking pool in his garbage can...a POOL, in a garbage can! I would so live in that trash can if I could."  
  
She looked at him strangely and then smiled, "Of course, where else would you want to live, he also had a freaking ELEPHANT. My dad never bought me an elephant."  
  
"I think he didn't want to have to pay someone to walk behind it and pick up all the shit," Chris said, "I mean, talk about your horrible jobs."  
  
"Ok, so we've established that we both want to live in Oscar the Grouch's can and that we like pools and elephants, anything else we should cover before Randy gets here, any important information that I will need to go on this date tonight?"  
  
"The capital of Chile is Santiago," Chris told her seriously.  
  
"Other than that," she said just as seriously.  
  
"Don't have sex with him."  
  
"Wasn't planning on it...you on the other hand," she said, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"We'll have to wait for that later Stephers, I'm not even looking my best."  
  
"Too bad, now, we're going to this Mexican place, because somehow he knew I liked Mexican, how he knew that, I'll have to take a wild guess," she said, looking over at him, "So what do you want me to bring you back?"  
  
This was a little tradition that they had whenever they were together. If one of them had a date, the other would bring them back food that they would share while recounting their date. They had many an odd tradition together, this was only the tip of the iceberg with them. People didn't think they were weird for this one, but when they delved deep and found out about the more wackier things, it usually stopped any and all dates. Chris and Stephanie had lost many people just by being friends. People didn't really understand their friendship, but they weren't willing to explain to anyone who couldn't see that they were just friends.  
  
"Um, chicken tacos and a pork tamale," he told her with a smile.  
  
"Ok, and the usual sides?"  
  
"Yup, so when is Randy Dreamboat coming to pick you up?"  
  
"He should be here any minute."  
  
"And you're sure that you want to go out with him?"  
  
"As sure as I was that I wanted to be your friend and torment you for the rest of your life until you finally broke under the pressure of being my friend and had to be admitted into a mental institution."  
  
"And just think! You're half way there!"  
  
There came a knock at the door and Stephanie gave a little squeal and a jump as she bounded for the door. Chris was ready to play protective older brother and stood a few feet behind her as she opened the door. He crossed his arms and put on his serious face so Randy knew that he would always be watching them.  
  
"Snooks, cut the act," Stephanie hissed as she turned to Randy, "Randy, hey!"  
  
"Hey Stephanie, these are for you," he told her, handing her a bouquet of roses. Chris snorted to himself. Just like a preppy boy like that to buy her flowers on the first date. Stephanie sniffed them and thanked him profusely for them, smiling up at him.  
  
"Let me just give these to Chris to put in water and then we'll go," she said.  
  
"Ok."  
  
Stephanie walked over to Chris and handed him the flowers. He glowered down at her and she gave him a look of warning, knowing that he was going to make some sort of smart remark on the flowers. She simply looked at him and he knew that she was serious with this one. And Stephanie was hardly serious.  
  
"You be nice," Stephanie said, "I'm going to get my coat."  
  
Chris walked over to Randy as Stephanie disappeared into the bedroom momentarily, "Take care of her alright."  
  
"I know man, I promise I will."  
  
"Ugh, Snooks, clean up in the bedroom, it's a mess because of you," she said, "I'll see you later and don't eat anything from the mini-bar, that's MY money that has to pay for it!"  
  
"But you're richer than me! Just the macadamia nuts, I swear, just the nuts."  
  
"Eat the nuts, and you'll lose two nuts later," she called out sweetly as she closed the door.  
  
She and Randy started walking down the hallway towards the elevators. Stephanie looked at him and saw that he was dressed pretty sharply. She wasn't surprised, she had never seen the guy in a pair of blue jeans and a t-shirt. She wondered if he even owned a pair of jeans. Maybe really high- class, couture jeans or something.  
  
"So do you and Chris share a room?" Randy asked as they stepped into the elevator.  
  
"Oh of course, we also share the covers, except on cold nights when he decides that I'm warm enough and steals them from me," she told him. She looked over at his face and saw that his eyes were wide, "I'm kidding Randy, Chris and I get adjoining rooms, but we don't sleep in the same room. We have adjoining rooms because we joke around with each other all night long."  
  
"Oh," Randy said, relieved to hear her answer, "So you two are close."  
  
"You can say that...you can also say we're joined at the hip, best friends, compadres, amigos, and any other variation of the word friend."  
  
Randy laughed, "I think I'm starting to learn a little bit more about you."  
  
"Really, I didn't know we were attending a class, I don't even have any binder paper for notes, oh my God, I hope there's not a test at the end of the evening, I'll never remember what I drank at eight o'clock sharp!"  
  
"Well, we're going to a great place, you'll love it."  
  
Stephanie laughed a little, but then turned away as they walked to his car. Chris would've said something funny to her remark, probably something about only using number 2 pencils for the multiple choice part of the test. She just had to get used to Randy's sense of humor. She looked at him, hopefully he HAD a sense of humor.  
  
"Oh, Randy, remind me to get Chris food," she said, "It's a little tradition we have, I get him food."  
  
"Oh, what are you getting him?"  
  
"He wanted to get chicken tacos, a pork tamale and rice," she said, "We kind of eat and talk later, it's weird, don't ask."  
  
"Hey, would you mind waiting at the car, I forgot that I had an important phone call I had to make."  
  
"Wow, you're already trying to find a way to get out of this date, I must be worse than I thought," she said, "We're barely off the elevator."  
  
He laughed, "No, nothing like that, but I'll just be a minute."  
  
She shrugged and walked out of the lobby and decided that was a good enough place to wait for him. He hadn't told her where his car was, so she was kind of stuck. She tapped her shoe on the ground, trying to make a little beat out of it. She started dancing to herself as Randy came out and started clapping.  
  
"Wow, dancing without music, that's a talent."  
  
"Nah, I was making music with my shoes," she said, "Phone call taken care of?"  
  
"Yeah, so off we go," he said, offering her his arm. She took it gladly and they started walking to his car, a nice one at that. But she should've guessed that. He was very much into playing his part, which made him the perfect member of Evolution.  
  
"So far so good," she said as they drove to wherever they were going.  
  
Stephanie noticed they were taking a long time, but she didn't really mind, she was just getting to know Randy a little bit better. Turned out he was a lot more interesting than he made himself out to be. Not that she had thought he was boring, but it took a lot to keep her occupied, well, not a lot, just not someone boring. But Randy wasn't boring, and he actually made her laugh a couple of times.  
  
"Randy, where the hell are you taking me? I'm suddenly afraid we're going to end up in some desolate forest and I'll be tied to a tree naked with honey all over me and a swarm of red ants on the attack."  
  
"Now that would be a sight," he laughed, "But no, actually we're here."  
  
She looked around, "We're near some docks, oh my God, we have to fish for our food right, this is your idea of fun!"  
  
"No, our restaurant is right there," he said, pointing to a brightly lit yacht.  
  
"Randy..."  
  
"You like?"  
  
"Even if I got violent seasickness and forgot to take my Dramamine, there's no way I could hate something like this," she said in awe, "You rented that for our date, FIRST date."  
  
"I had to impress you somehow right, I mean, you are the boss's daughter."  
  
She groaned, "Don't remind me, I hate thinking that I'm the spawn of two drones. As far as I'm concerned my parents live in Canada."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
She looked at him, "Oh, it's nothing, I just consider Chris's parents to be like my own, it's a long, drawn-out boring story, and unless you really need to take a nap, I don't think I'll be bothering you with it."  
  
"Ok, so how about we go on the ship and have a lovely evening?"  
  
"That would be delightful," she said in a broken English accent.  
  
He got out of the car and then went to help her out of the car as well. She smiled at his gentleman-like behavior. They walked arm-in-arm towards the large boat, and Stephanie couldn't believe the lengths he had gone to, to make this date special. She was actually glad that she had said yes to him now, not that she wasn't before, but she was very sure now. They walked up the plank and Stephanie tripped on the walkway and fell face first to the ground, catching herself with her hands. Randy looked in horror as he helped her up.  
  
"I'm ok! I'm ok, nothing to see here! Move right along, klutz coming through," she said good-naturedly.  
  
"You know, any other girl and they probably would've been mortified," he told her.  
  
"Nah, unless I somehow fell off the boat, and got caught in a fishing net and came to the surface looking like Swamp Thing, I'm not going to get that easily embarrassed."  
  
"That's a good thing."  
  
"Hey, when you've had your tits and ass exposed to the world, you learn to deal with the little things," she said with a smile.  
  
"Oh yeah," he said, "That had to suck."  
  
"No, not really, it happens, it's life, and besides, it could've happened a lot more than it did, Chris actually saved me a bunch of times by pulling up my clothes. He's my lifesaver...get it, we're on a boat, lifesaver," she giggled, "I'm corny."  
  
"Nah, you're just outgoing."  
  
"Yeah, I get told that a lot," she said, "So where's the grub, I'm starving."  
  
"Over here," he said as he led her over to the end of the yacht where there was a very fancy table awaiting them with a silver candelabra sitting in the middle. There were two silver trays with the lids on them, and Stephanie wondered what was under them. He led her over to her seat and pulled out her chair for her before sitting down himself.  
  
Moments later, a guy in a smart tuxedo walked out and came over to their tables, filling their glasses with a red wine. The man put the wine back into a bucket and then took the lids off of the trays. Stephanie laughed as she saw a Mexican feast sitting in front of her. Such fancy digs for Mexican food.  
  
"I talked to Chris, and he told me what you liked, and so yeah, I hope that's what you like."  
  
"It is," she laughed, "You know, you didn't have to go to such great lengths to do all this for me, I'm perfectly content eating at normal places, and not on yachts."  
  
"Yeah, but I wanted to make this special," he said, clearing his throat, "I really like you Stephanie, and I know that you probably never looked at me, cause I'm younger than you and everything, but I hope that we can have more dates. I always see you laughing and stuff, and you always look so happy..."  
  
"Then you've obviously never seen me with my family," she joked.  
  
"Well, I just want to try and make you happy too," he finished, "Stupid I know, but well, yeah."  
  
"That's sweet Randy, I hope that we can see more of each other too, judging from the car ride over and your little speech, you're not such a bad guy to have around, despite being a youngin."  
  
"You can eat now."  
  
"Good, I was about to eat through my arm," she said, digging into her food, "Oh no, I don't have any way of bringing Chris food."  
  
"Actually..." He gestured over to another table sitting just off to the side and she looked over and saw a white bag sitting on top of it. She didn't know what he was getting at for a moment, before she looked at him.  
  
"You got Chris food too?"  
  
"Yeah, I know that you two are close, and I don't want to infringe on any of that. I think it's great that you have such a good friend."  
  
"That's so sweet of you," she said, "Wow, that earned you like so many points it's unbelievable. Chris will also appreciate it. Usually he's wary of guys I go out with, but dude, you brought him food, I'm sure he'll be worshipping you now."  
  
"Good, because I figure if I'm good with him, then I'm good with you."  
  
"Wow, cocky too, is there anything you can't do Randy Orton?"  
  
"Well, I don't think I can have a war of the words with you, but I don't think anyone but Chris can."  
  
"Ahh, you have much to learn young one," Stephanie said, "But let's wait until after I devour these enchiladas. They have spoken ill of my friends and I must destroy them or be destroyed!"  
  
"I'm guessing you and Chris play with your food."  
  
"But they never play back so it's no fun," she smiled, "You must think we're the biggest losers on the planet."  
  
"Biggest, nah, I'm sure there are bigger."  
  
"Thanks for the vote of confidence."  
  
Chris watched television and wondered what Stephanie was doing. He glanced at his watch, 12:39, not too late yet, but he was still wondering where she could be. Hopefully having a good time, but not TOO good a time, he didn't want her reputation sullied. She had worked much too hard to earn the one she had.  
  
"I come bearing gifts to the Lord Master Snooks, who rules not only his universe, but mine as well!"  
  
"It's about time Stephers."  
  
"Oh my God, did I pass out and it's Thursday or something?"  
  
"No, you've been gone for three years and I'm still sitting here!"  
  
"Really, wow, I have so much to learn, did we find a cure for the common Britney Spears addiction yet? You know, that alone can kill you."  
  
"No, alas, she still roams out there, lurking in the shadows, ready to pounce on us with her insane fast dance moves and lip-syncing talents!"  
  
"No! Say it isn't so! I bring you food from the past," she said, thrusting the bag into his hands.  
  
"Mmm, I'm starved, I did eat dinner, but you know me--"  
  
"Able to eat entire cows in a single bound," she said, changing her voice to sound more news anchor-ish, "You will NOT believe what Randy did!"  
  
"So the Dreamboat was a winner huh?"  
  
"He took me on a YACHT, like a boat."  
  
"I know what a yacht is Stephers, and he took you on one?"  
  
"Uh huh, just to eat Mexican food, isn't that wild Snooks?"  
  
"Like 'Wild and Crazy Kids' wild? Nah, but in its own way, yeah, it's pretty darn wild," he told her.  
  
"Nothing can be like 'Wild and Crazy Kids.' Oh what I wouldn't give to have some of those challenges recreated," she sighed happily, "But there will definitely be more dates."  
  
"Good, so he didn't touch you or anything inappropriately did he?"  
  
"Oh no! He touched my hand, you have to go hurt him now! Of course he didn't touch me, I would've kicked him in the balls if he had done that."  
  
"That's my girl," he said, hitting her cheek lightly.  
  
"Inappropriate touching!" she shouted, "You touched my no-no area."  
  
"Oh, I'll no-no you into the ground," he said as he started eating.  
  
"No-no me into the ground? Is that anything like pushing me, because I'm not in the right outfit to be pushed, and if I'm going to get pushed, I'd rather be comfortable...because you wouldn't see me until next--"  
  
"Fall," he mumbled with his mouth full, "Very funny, see you next fall."  
  
"Oh, you clever boy, I wonder how your date will go with the blonde bombshell. I'm thinking she'll run away screaming when she sees your eating habits."  
  
"I must warn the villagers of the killer tacos!"  
  
"Oh no, not the killer tacos!" she said as she watched him eat. So in tune with each other, she thought, as she remembered her little bit with the enchilada.  
  
"We must eat them or be eaten."  
  
Stephanie just grabbed one of his tacos and started chomping down as they continued to pretend they were being attacked by their food. 


	7. Chapter 7

"Why did we have to come here?"  
  
"Because I need to loosen up before my date tonight," Chris answered.  
  
"But why here? Snooks, anywhere else, come on, let's go to the arcade, and I can kick your ass at skee-ball again, you just don't have the right flow for that game," she said, partly whining, partly demanding.  
  
"We'll play skee-ball afterwards," he told her, as if he were talking to a child, but that's what she was acting like right now.  
  
"But I don't even know how to do this, I'll suck at it and then I'll fall flat on my face and break my nose, and I'll look like Marcia Brady and nobody will want to go to the prom with me!"  
  
"I'll go to the prom with you," he said idly, "Pad up."  
  
"Why do I have to wear pads?"  
  
"Stephers, stop whining and just put the pads on, we're not going to be doing anything too hard for you."  
  
"I'm still going to fall flat on my face, or even worse on my butt and then the blade from my ice skate will slice into my arm and I'll get blood on everything and then I'll get gangrene and have to have my arm amputated and then when they take my poor arm off, I'm going to grab it and beat you with it."  
  
"Ok, I'll let you beat me with your arm alright," he said, "But you're still doing this. Come on, I only rented the rink for a couple of hours."  
  
"A couple of hours," Stephanie groaned as she followed Chris out of the locker room and into the rink.  
  
She clumsily walked over to the side of the rink, her skates feeling incredibly heavy and clunky. She grabbed her hockey stick as Chris got on the ice an did a couple of laps around the ice. Stephanie watched him with disdain. Usually he would go skating with one of the guys or something, doing the hockey thing, but they had all bee unavailable so she got suckered into it. Now she was standing there, padded up to the nines and about to get her first hockey lesson ever.  
  
Chris skated over and quickly stopped, sending up a little ice on his stop. Stephanie looked at him as he reached over to grab a couple of helmets hanging on some hooks. Stephanie looked at Chris disdainfully, wondering what he was going to do with her. He took the smaller of the helmets and put it on top of her head. It went over her eyes a little bit and she pushed it back so that she could see him. Chris had a silly grin on her face and she frowned deeply.  
  
"I look like an idiot. I look like I somehow wandered into a sporting goods store and fell into the entire hockey section," she complained.  
  
"You look sexy," he said, putting his own helmet on, "So come on and let's play."  
  
"Snooks, isn't the blonde bombshell a hockey fan, wouldn't this have been a nice first date, you know, playing hockey, maybe having a romantic dinner in the middle of the ice?"  
  
"No, because I want to just have fun, I'd be too nervous around her to have fun."  
  
"Fine, but I was going to see Randy today."  
  
"The Dreamboat can wait," he told her, "Come on Stephers, the clock is ticking!"  
  
She gingerly stepped onto the ice, feeling weighed down by all the pads that she was wearing. Chris had insisted they take the utmost precaution and he had spent lots of money getting her all these pads. What a fool, she thought to herself, like she'd ever play hockey again ever. She put her other foot on the ice, trying to maintain her balance as she held onto the side of the rink.  
  
"Stephers, skate out here," Chris said from the middle of the rink.  
  
"Snooks, you're under the false impression that I would even know how to skate in these things. Sure if you had me in a cute little skirt and pretty pink ice skates I might be doing triple axles out there right now, but I'm in a freaking hockey uniform!"  
  
Chris skated over to her and grabbed her by the hand, pulling her forcefully out onto the ice with no safety of the sides to help her. She squealed as she tried to maintain her balance, letting Chris pull her, and hoping that she wouldn't take a monumental fall. Chris was nice enough to skate slower for her. He took her over to a blue line on the ice and stopped her, letting her stop before letting her go.  
  
"This is the blue line," he said, indicating towards the ice.  
  
"Wow, and it's blue, who thought of that!"  
  
"Stephers..."  
  
"Ok, fine, what next Mr. Jericho, I hope you're not going to keep me after school and punish me," she said blinking innocently.  
  
"Ok, well between here and the goal is the attack zone, so you want to try and get it in the goal."  
  
"What, that little black thing."  
  
"You don't--"  
  
"I know it's the puck," she said, "You have forced me to watch it with you before, remember."  
  
"Ok, yeah, I remember," he said, "So let's shoot around."  
  
"Why am I wearing these pads? You're not."  
  
"Because I don't want you falling and then blaming me and complaining for the rest of our lives that I caused you to get hurt, I'd never hear the end of it. You'd call me at three in the morning saying how I got you hurt thirty years ago and then I'd never be able to live with myself and you'd drive me to drink, do you want me to drink and die a premature death Stephers, is that what you really want!"  
  
"Well, when you put it like that...I'd want you to die quick and painless," she said, "So come on, show me how to skate and shoot and make goals and stuff. And then we can buy me one of those goalie masks that are all intimidating. I want mine to have a picture of...Hunter on it, that way I can scare everyone with his face on my mask!"  
  
"We don't want to give anyone heart attacks Stephers."  
  
They spent the next couple of hours, shooting around and Chris was nice and relaxed by the time they got back to the hotel. They went up to Chris's room where he went to take a shower. Stephanie took a shower as well, but finished up before him and went into his room via the adjoining door. She plopped herself down on his bed and grabbed the remote, flipping through the stations trying to find something decent to watch. She was still flipping when Chris came out of the bathroom, a towel on his waist.  
  
"You know what I find funny?"  
  
"Um...that time Goldberg fell doing that karate kick during his entrance?" Chris suggested.  
  
Stephanie snorted, "That WAS funny, oh look at me, I'm karate Bill, oops, fell down, can I try that again?"  
  
"Ok, but I'm guessing that wasn't it."  
  
"No, I was just watching Full House, and isn't it funny how Bob Saget was like the star at the beginning, but then he got shafted for John Stamos like half way through. It just goes to show you that hair is everything."  
  
"But in the end it only paid if you were an Olsen twin."  
  
"Oh yeah, those little girls or whatever," Stephanie said, tapping her chin, "With the cheesy like stuff and stuff."  
  
"Oh and that other...stuff right?"  
  
"Yeah, with the stuff."  
  
"That they did stuff with, using the stuff."  
  
"Yeah, good stuff," Stephanie said thoughtfully, "Is that what you're wearing to your date?"  
  
He looked down, "Yeah, I figured that towels were all the rage nowadays. Nothing says sexy like terrycloth."  
  
"I know, I mean, what do you think my number one turn on is?"  
  
"I thought it was satin," he told her.  
  
"Oh yeah, that too, but terrycloth, man alive, sexy stuff."  
  
"Remind me to make note of that later."  
  
"I'll write it down in my diary right now," she said, hopping up and pretending to run into the room. Chris grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back, she gave him a look and a smile, "Snooks, is this your way of trying to hit on me...in your towel no less."  
  
"You have to help me decide what to wear."  
  
"Clothes, ok, are we done here?"  
  
"Not helping," he said, "What should I wear? I want it to say 'hey, I'm cool,' and not, 'hey, I'm a loser."  
  
"Then I will suggest a shirt that says on it, 'Hey, I'm cool," I mean, what says that better than a shirt that says that?"  
  
"I'm going with my black polo and khaki pants," he said, grabbing the aforementioned clothes.  
  
"Wear silk boxers, that way you're all comfy during the date, and then you won't get a wedgie or anything, cause God forbid you get one of those, you might never live it down."  
  
"I don't think I have any of those with me," he said, "So I guess I'll have to go with regular cotton boxers."  
  
"Too bad," she shrugged, "But when you get that wedgie later, don't say I didn't warn you Snooks."  
  
"I'll think of you then," he said as he walked back into the bathroom to get changed.  
  
He came out a few minutes later, looking clean-shaved and well-dressed. Stephanie kneeled up on the bed as he came over. She adjusted his collar for him and then brushed invisible dust off of his shirt. He smiled and grabbed his wallet and phone before telling Stephanie good-bye and that he'd see her later. He walked to the elevator and rode two floors down to Trish's room, knocking on her door when he arrived. She answered the door and almost took his breath away.  
  
"Wow, you are looking incredible," Chris said before he even said hello.  
  
"Thanks Chris, are you ready to go?"  
  
"Well, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't, I'd be up in my room having Stephanie inspect me and make sure that I didn't have a sock stuck to my ass or something. She's good at spotting socks."  
  
"Do you and Stephanie share a room?"  
  
"Oh yeah, we share a bed too, and when it's really cold, I let her have all the covers," he said, "I'm kidding of course, it's my sense of humor that has sustained me through difficult times and awkward situations. There's nothing like a good joke to break the awkward silences."  
  
She laughed and he dared to take her hand in his. When she let him hold her hand, a smile involuntarily came over his face and he looked away from her, not letting her see the stupid blush that was coming over his cheek. They went down to his car and he drove them to a nice little, Italian place. Trish noticed that Chris was being very gentlemanly to her, and she had to appreciate it just a little.  
  
"So, you and Stephanie, you've been friends for how long?"  
  
"Since the night I joined the company," he told her, "See, she spilled hot chocolate on me and she kept apologizing and following me around, apologizing and I haven't been able to get rid of her."  
  
Trish laughed, "The way you two act around each other, you'd think that you'd been friends since you were little kids."  
  
"Yeah, we get that a lot. If I had been friends with Stephanie when we were little, I don't know, I'd probably have been institutionalized by now. Stephanie is the most outgoing person I've ever known, excluding myself, I think we create a good balance, like those scales they always show on the court shows, with the lady."  
  
"I'm sorry I thought you two were together," she told him, "If I had known that you two weren't together, I wouldn't have turned you down like I did."  
  
"Don't worry about it," he said, shrugging it off now, forgetting how hurt he had been back then, "I just ran to Stephanie and she made it all better. See, she came up with this way to make a band-aid that fits on those emotional cuts."  
  
"She's really something."  
  
"Yeah, she's something, a crazy something, but she's something."  
  
"I don't think I have any friends like that in the business."  
  
Chris wanted to be that friend to her. As stupid as that sounded, he wanted to be there for her, and be with her. He couldn't help it, sitting there across from her and thinking that she was perfect for him. She kept him occupied the entire night and almost didn't want the night to end. They ended up talking at the table for a couple of hours, just about anything and everything.  
  
When Chris walked into the room later that evening, he felt like he was floating on air. Stephanie gave him the oddest look as she stood up to grab the food he had in his hands. She inhaled from the bag deeply and smile, Italian, this was going to be good. She just had to wait for Chris to calm down.  
  
"Well, considering that I think you're officially in orbit, I'm saying it went well."  
  
"Better."  
  
"Better?" she asked, raising an eyebrow, "Like better in the sense that double stuff Oreos are better than regular Oreos?"  
  
"No, like how milk and cookies is better than just cookies."  
  
"Oh wow, so its like a million, bajillion times better, I knew that once you got that crazy girl in your grasp that you'd be all happy and stuff. I predicted it, I was like psychic about it. So psychic about it that I didn't even tell you that I was psychic about it because I just knew that you wouldn't be listening because you are thinking about the blonde bombshell."  
  
"What was that Stephers?"  
  
"Yup, I was right, I am SO psychic," she said, digging into the lasagna that Chris had picked up for her, "He's gone ladies and gentlemen, Chris Jericho has left the building. No, no, I'm sorry, he won't be accepting any autographs, I don't think you got the message that he left the building."  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
Stephanie just shook her head and continued eating as Chris collapsed on the bed, his hands outstretched and a stupid grin on his face. She was about to throw some lasagna on his face to get him out of this stupid daze he was in, but she thought she'd just let him be for now. She could grill him for details later. And she would. She just kept eating and mumbled to herself.  
  
"Yup, he had a good time." 


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I hope you guys like this fic, I'm not sure if people are liking it, I hope you are though, so enjoy. :) 

"So remind me again, what the hell is this?"

"My parents, they decided that they wanted to have an anniversary party. So I'm stuck here because I'm their daughter, and for some reason they think that binds me to them forever and ever. I don't know where they got that idea."

"Why didn't you bring the Dreamboat, the new boyfriend," Chris teased as he nudged her in the side.

"One, because he's all the way across the country doing house shows..."

"You could've gotten him out of it, you got me out of them to drag me to this rather boring affair," he said, adjusting his tie.

"Which would lead me to my next point if I wasn't interrupted by a rather rude gentlemen. There's no way I'd tell them I'm dating Randy. We've only been seeing each other for three weeks. I don't want to subject him to the patented McMahon Questioning Hour until at least two months."

"Please, it's not that bad, I got through the McMahon Questioning Hour with only a few minor injuries and a slight concussion."

"My point exactly."

"They'll like him," Chris said, "That's what you're afraid of. Once they start worshipping at the Randy Orton altar, you're going to instantly hate him. You're anti-establishment Stephers and you want to damn the man and save the empire."

"If they like him, I'll shoot myself in the face," she said, "But they'll find a flaw. His age, they'll target his age. I can see it now, they'll buy me a see-saw to take my little boyfriend on it. Oh, I can definitely see my dad buying me a see-saw."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Chris scoffed, "If you get a see-saw we are totally going to pull a Brady Bunch and go for the see-sawing world record."

"Oh yeah, see, now I want the see-saw!"

Chris laughed as he and Stephanie kept standing by the wall. Everyone else was speaking quietly, sipping lightly on their champagne having dignified conversation, while him and Stephanie were talking about the Brady Bunch. Once again they managed to be the most out there people in the room, although in this room, it wasn't that difficult. They were trying to fade into the background, hoping that they wouldn't be spotted. Unfortunately, they were.

"Stephanie, Chris," Linda said sharply as she walked over with Vince, "So nice to see you two this evening."

Chris leaned over to Stephanie, "Yeah right, she hates that I'm here."

"Say something Chris?" Linda asked.

"I just said that this is one rocking shin-dig Linda," he said with a grin, "You should be proud of the party. Happy anniversary by the way, that's a long time to be hitched."

"Thank you."

"Yes, happy anniversary Mom," Stephanie said politely, "You too Dad."

"Nice to see you dressed formally for the occasion, I wonder if we left out the part of your invitation that said 'black tie,' I don't believe we did, but maybe we did, in which case your attire would be deemed appropriate," Linda told her smartly.

Stephanie let out her breath slowly and counted down from ten. Her mother was just trying to get to her, that was all. She looked at everyone else in the room. They were all in either black or white, it was like a game of freaking chess in here or something. She looked down at her own dress, a one strap pale green floor-length dress, with a few white gardenias pinned to the one strap. Chris was in a regular suit with a tie that matched Stephanie's dress.

"I'm sorry Mother, I didn't know that when we entered your domain that we weren't free to wear what we wanted to wear. I didn't know that you owned this room or anything, perhaps declaring it an independent country led under a dictatorship."

"Don't speak to your mother that way," Vince snapped.

"Then don't insult my dress," Stephanie snapped back.

"Hey, you know what," Chris said, "I am hungry, and since I'm so hungry, I'm going to need about seven plates of food, and well, would you look at that, I only have two hands, so that's only like five plates, I need extra hands. Stephers, can I borrow your hands?"

Chris grabbed Stephanie's hand and pulled her away from her parents. He knew it would get ugly soon, Stephanie was getting her bitch face ready. She scowled and pulled away from him as they went to the other side of the room. She huffed and crossed her arms, looking down at the ground. Chris saw a passing waiter and grabbed his sleeve.

"Hi, do you know who we are?"

"Yes sir, you're Chris Jericho and she's Stephanie McMahon."

"Good, you know who we are. Remember our faces alright, memorize them, become acquainted with them. If you see us without a full drink in our hand, immediately come over with two martinis, strong ones, and give them to us. We don't want to be empty-handed, it would make our hands cold. If we have two in our hands, then you come over and wait until we finish one. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Good, now go get us those martinis, will you?"

The waiter walked away and Stephanie smiled over at Chris. He made a face at her, and then made a guzzling gesture. She laughed and hit his shoulder. If being drunk was the only way to get through this evening, then drunk was what she was going to be. At least she'd have company. And they came in a limo so they didn't have to worry about driving at all.

"Hey, um, I think you look beautiful," Chris whispered to her, "Don't take that as anything flirtatious, I was simply stating a fact. Like if I were a scientist and just discovered how to never make your windows frost up in the morning, I'm stating a fact. So the fact is, you look beautiful tonight, no matter what Mr. and Mrs. Frosty the Snowman think."

"Thank you, and I didn't think that was being flirtatious Snooks, I know you have a girlfriend."

"Trish isn't my girlfriend, she's simply a girl that I happen to be seeing."

"Girlfriend," Stephanie teased, lowering her voice, "You're boinking the blonde bombshell."

"Please do not ever say 'boinking' again, I may have to go completely insane," Chris laughed.

"Why do you have to always ruin Mom and Dad's night?"

"Oh look Snooks, it's the walking, talking robot that I call a brother," Stephanie said, breaking into the robot dance, "I am Shane, how many I service you this evening? May I do work, work is good, work is what keeps me going."

"Very funny Stephanie. You had to go against the grain again didn't you? You couldn't dress up like everyone else."

"Hello Talking Robot, I didn't come in a see-thru teddy with my garters on and a ton of makeup."

"I for one would like to see that sometime," Chris chimed in.

"It said black tie Stephanie."

"Yeah, and Dorothy said, 'there's no place like home,' but you don't see me tapping my shoes together wishing I could be transported somewhere else. I interpreted something different than you did. We can't all have mechanical chips implanted in our brains to follow every single order and command that Mom and Dad set for us. Or if I did get a chip, I think it malfunctioned somewhere between my sixth or seventh birthday. Too bad Mom and Dad didn't chip in for that chip replacement surgery. They probably would've gotten a daughter they actually liked. Can you imagine that, it's like an oxymoron, daughter they like?"

"Why do you always have to be funny?"

"Because one day, my body is going to quit on me, and I won't be this beautiful, and I need a fall back thing, and humor is it."

"Sometimes I wonder if you weren't adopted or something."

"Oh hey, if you find out I am," Stephanie said, calling out to her brother, "Please let me know, because I want to throw a party. You know, chips, dip, the whole nine yards, you can even come, I'll set a computer in the corner and you can type about how much fun you're not having. What do you prefer? Mac, PC?"

"I think he's gone Stephers, you were short-circuiting him."

"Probably."

"But I must say, you have a superb robot dance," Chris said, "One of the best I've ever seen."

"I've got moves you've never seen Snooks," she winked.

"Do I have to pay a special price to see the moves, make an appointment or something, or can I see them now?"

"You have to pay."

"Damn it, well, how about a dance then?"

"Dance, me and you? Dance?"

"No, I said chance, how bout a chance? You know like the chance card in Monopoly, I thought we could go play Monopoly, I bet the big wigs in the room right now would kick butt in that game, but I'm afraid they'd start thinking it was real, and I don't want to break up a fight between two fifty year olds, talk about sca-ry."

"Fine, let's dance, but I warn you now, I suck at it."

"You suck at swaying. Well then you'd be great on a boat, cause while the boat was swaying, you'd stay in one spot. That's talent my friend. Come on, there's a new song, it'll give us something to do and not focus on the daggers that are being thrown at us by just about everyone in the room."

He took her hand in his and she gave a small laugh as he pulled her out onto the dance floor. She looked around at the other couples dancing. They were just standing there, swaying with each other to the slow song. She wasn't much of a dancer and she was taken by surprise as she was suddenly gravitating towards Chris. They didn't know how to position themselves for a moment, but then he put his arm around her waist lightly, about a half a foot of space between them.

She laughed and looked down, not believing she was dancing with him. Not that it was weird, because it was him, it was weird because she didn't dance, they didn't dance. He laughed at her laughing and pretty soon they were both laughing at each other, and trying not to trip over each other's feet. Stephanie got caught on her dress and started to tip over but Chris caught her and dipped her down.

"Thanks," she whispered.

"Wouldn't want to add falling on your ass to your night, would I?"

"Why not? It would give my parents more ammo," she told him as they stood up.

"I think they have enough for one evening."

"Everyone's staring at us," Stephanie said as they made the turn and swept across the floor.

"Well, I think when everything but us is in monochrome, we're going to stand out."

The song ended and Chris led her off the dance floor. She looked across the room to see the rest of her family talking amongst themselves and shaking their heads. The waiter that Chris had beckoned before came over and she took a martini gratefully. Only about an hour more and they would be out of there.

"I don't know what you were talking about, you danced really well. I'm not saying you're ballroom dance competition good, but you're good," Chris said.

"Damn, they get to wear really cool costumes too," Stephanie said, "Not that I watch ballroom dancing, because I don't, but you know, everyone knows that they wear pretty cool looking stuff."

"Yeah, that cemented the whole not watching part."

"Excuse me."

Stephanie looked up to see a rather young man in a tux looking at her, "Are you talking to me?"

"Well, yeah, who else would I be talking to?"

"Oh, I thought you were either talking to the air, or the plant right there, because I'm so stupid that I couldn't figure out you were talking to the human being."

He laughed, "I'm Craig, my parents are friends with your parents, I think we've met a couple of times. Stephanie right?"

"Yeah, that would be me."

"You look really great tonight, you're just about the only person here that does."

"I think that's because I learned the definition of color," Stephanie said, realizing this guy was trying to hit on her. She turned to Chris who had gone off to get another martini. He came back over and took Stephanie's drink and handed her the new one.

"Hey Stephers, what's up?"

"Nothing...baby," she said, sneaking the word in.

Chris gleaned onto what she was doing and went to stand behind her, putting his arm around her waist lightly, "And you would be?"

"This is Craig, he was just complimenting me on my dress tonight."

"Yeah, she does know how to pick out a dress," Chris said, leaning his chin on her shoulder, "So Craig, you friends with Vinnie?"

"Not really, but I think we're acquaintances," he said, looking suddenly uncomfortable.

"Oh, too bad, good man, good man," Chris said, "I mean, he'd have to be to make my girlfriend this fucking hot right. Cause damn baby, you are smoking tonight, I almost want to take you out to the limo and..."

"I'll be going now," Craig said, walking away quickly.

"So who was that doofus?"

"Probably someone my mother would love to set me up with. He would turn me into the proper young woman that I was supposed to be. Then you'd lose me forever, and I'd turn into nothing but a drone, and you would see me and think I was a ghost or something because I'd never see the light of day, and then my clothes would all turn drab--"

"What do you say we cut out of here early? We both don't want to be here, let's just go."

"But my parents, the toast..."

"Oh, come on, we don't need to stick around for that. I bet your parents don't even want you here in the first place. I bet this is their way of torturing you. It's like we're in a mental institution and we can see the light of day, but we just can't get there. Let's make a break for it!"

Stephanie laughed and looked down. His offer was very enticing, just leaving, not caring that she was going to disappoint her parents. Hadn't she disappointed them enough? They had to comment on every little thing in her life like everything she did was horrible and wrong. They even managed to criticize her dress. She looked down at her dress again and thought it was beautiful, just like when she had seen it for the first time. She saw Chris's arm still slung across her waist and patted his hand.

"So what's the verdict?" he asked her.

"Let's get the hell out of here."

He grinned and they walked quickly towards the exit, like they were on some sort of secret mission. If they did get caught, they were good enough liars to get out of there with minor fanfare. Luckily nobody seemed to notice their disappearance and they were in their limo in no time. Stephanie sighed in relief, finally feeling like she could be herself and not her parent's little girl anymore.

"So what do we do for the rest of the evening?"

"What do you mean, what do we do," Chris said, "We just hang out at your house. Unless you wanted to go out or something, I mean, we are looking hot right now, we would definitely be the hottest couple wherever we went, that is an incentive, but I'm a taken man now so I'd have to beat the girls off with a stick, and then I'd get arrested for hitting people with sticks, where would I even pick up a stick? I don't want to hit people with sticks Stephers."

"Then we'll just go home," she said, "That way you won't have to hit anyone with a stick."

"I could hit you with a stick," he suggested.

"Yeah, and I can bash your brains in with a bat, but that's not going to happen tonight either, now is it?"

"If we're lucky."

They arrived at Stephanie's house and they walked inside wearily. Stephanie walked into the kitchen and saw her answering machine blinking. She walked over to the machine and smiled up at Chris as he went to go upstairs, already loosening his rather constricting tie. She leaned her elbows on the counter and pushed the button on the machine.

Randy's voice floated through the silent room, "Hey Steph, it's me, I'm hoping you can recognize my voice. Of course, I hope that besides Chris I'm the only guy that's calling your house. I just wanted to hear your message and say hi, and I hope that you had fun tonight at your parent's thing, I didn't have fun without you here, but I guess I'll live. I'll see you on Monday, and I can't wait to see you. Tell Chris I said hi, and thanks for taking care of my girl. Talk to you later."

She smiled at the message. It was still early on the other side of the country, but she didn't really want to bother him right now. She would just call him in the morning. She took the flower off of her dress and set it down on the counter before trudging upstairs. She went into her bedroom and took off her dress, carefully hanging it in her closet. She grabbed a pair of Chris's pajama pants he left around and slipped them on, tying them tightly so they would stay on. She then put her shirt with the picture of the puppy on as well. Pulling her hair back into a loose ponytail, she went back downstairs and grabbed a bag of cookies and a bottle of whipped cream. She ran back upstairs and into Chris's room, where he was laying on the bed, his dress shirt rolled up at the sleeves and unbuttoned, showing his well-sculpted chest. He was in his pajama pants and on the phone.

"Yeah, talk to you tomorrow, probably, I don't know what Steph and I will be up to. I'm thinking it'll just end up with me lying face down in a dumpster," he laughed, "Yeah, later, bye."

"Was that the blonde bombshell?" Stephanie asked as Chris hung up the phone.

"The one and only, so did you bring dessert?"

"Uh huh," she nodded, hopping onto the bed and setting the cookies and whipped cream down. She laid her head on his stomach and stared up at the ceiling, "Randy left me a message."

"Aww, that's so sweet, young love," Chris teased, "You comfy down there?"

"Well, you're not the best pillow, if you could gain some fat, then it would be cushier and I'd be much more comfortable."

"There are tons of girls who would love to have their head on my stomach, you are just the luckiest girl of all, you know that right? You are like Lady Luck, I should use you as a lucky charm, hey, you'll be like the Lucky Charms leprechaun, and I can buy you and outfit and everything and you can buy the cereal and--"

"Ok, game time, if you could be anywhere in the world right this very moment, where would it be?" Stephanie said, cutting into his speech. Then she grabbed the whipped cream and sprayed some in her mouth.

"Right here," he told her, "Because really, where else would I want to be? It's not like I'm going to say, hey, I'd rather be at the summit of Mt. Everest, gasping for oxygen and basically seeing the same thing I'd see out of a plane at any time. I'm comfortable right here."

"But what about the blonde bombshell, wouldn't you rather be with her?"

"She's in a hotel, I'm in a real bed in a real house, totally not the same."

"The point is you would be with her, not that you would be sleeping in a very uncomfortable bed that probably has gross ass germs on the covers and everything, and stiff pillows that make you want to sleep on a rock instead because they'd be more comfortable. So wouldn't you rather have that?"

"Yeah, and I'd like my dog to get run over while we're at it."

"You don't have a dog."

"I could have a dog."

"But you don't have a dog."

"I could get one, and then the point would be valid."

"Who'd take care of it?"

"There is no dog," he said.

"What would you name it?"

"Snuggles."

"Like the bear with the fabric softener?"

"Yeah, exactly," he said, "That is Snuggles right."

"Well, I don't think its Huggles...its not Huggles is it?"

"I don't know," he said, grabbing the whipped cream and putting it on a cookie before eating it, "Why are we talking about this?"

"Because you're avoiding the fact you'd rather be with me than the blonde bombshell," she said sneakily.

"Oh yeah Stephers, sometimes it's true, you never bug me."

"You never bug me either."

"Good, we're not bugs."

"Yeah, I'm glad we cleared that up," she said.

"Me too, or I might have to get the bug spray and kill you."

"I choose right here too."

"What?"

"For the one place I'd like to be, I choose here."


	9. Chapter 9

Stephanie rolled her head to the side and was rudely awakened by a pounding alarm clock. Why would an alarm clock pound? She didn't remember buying a pounding alarm clock. She had her cow alarm clock that mooed, but not a pounding alarm clock. She opened her eyes and groggily took in her surroundings. Looking to her right she encountered some green pajama pants and the hint of gray boxers. She looked to her left and saw Chris sleeping.  
  
She realized she had fallen asleep on Chris's stomach. She yawned and moved so that she was laying side by side with him. It was still dark out so she fell back asleep. Somewhere in the course of the evening, Chris had rolled onto his side and had slung his arm around her from behind. She didn't notice until she woke up hours later to find she couldn't move.  
  
"Snooks, get your arm off of me," Stephanie mumbled sleepily.  
  
"My arm isn't on you," he mumbled back.  
  
"If it's not your arm, what the hell is it?"  
  
"Ok, its my arm, but I don't want to move it, I'm tired, let me sleep for God's sakes," Chris whined.  
  
"But your arm is on me!"  
  
"It's not doing anything!"  
  
"Its like five centimeters away from my boob!"  
  
"Hey, it goes where it wants to," he said lifting his head to glance at the clock before groaning and hitting the pillow with his head, "Its 5:30 in the morning, let me sleep!"  
  
"Get off of me."  
  
"This isn't your bed," he told her.  
  
"This isn't your house," she countered.  
  
"You dragged me to your parent's thing!"  
  
"So!"  
  
"So let me sleep or I'm going to knock you off the bed."  
  
"You do it, and I'll get the fucking hose."  
  
"Just go to sleep or you're going to be ugly," he told her, already falling asleep.  
  
"Fine," she said, feeling the fatigue coming over her again, "Sleep does sound good."  
  
The machine beeped and she could hear it because the house was so silent. She got up tiredly and threw Chris's arm back over to his side of the bed. Yawning and stretching, she got out of bed and cracked her neck. Pulling the covers back over onto Chris, she headed downstairs to put on a pot of coffee, knowing that if she was going to function normally today that she needed the coffee badly.  
  
The machine beeped again and she pushed the button, "Steph, it's Randy, too early to call?"  
  
"God yes," she mumbled to herself, though a quick look to the clock told her that it was past 10:00.  
  
"Oh well, I guess you're still asleep, so I'll call you later."  
  
The next message came on, "Stephanie, this is your mother, I was informed that you and Chris left the party early and--"  
  
"Stupid mother," Stephanie said, pushing the button, "That's just the way I want to start the day, with my mother bitching me out."  
  
"Were we busted?"  
  
Stephanie looked over to Chris, and rolled her eyes, "I swear, I think she has spies on me at all times. That way it's easier than just surveillance, she just has her spies report back to her and they're probably the best spies in the world, and I bet that they used to work for the government or something."  
  
"Great, then I bet she has some on me too, that's just what I need, some guy taking pictures while I'm trying to go to the bathroom."  
  
"I'm sure that they let you do that in peace," Stephanie said as she picked up the phone.  
  
"Who're you calling?" he asked as he came over to kiss her cheek good morning. She leaned into it as she dialed the phone.  
  
"Randy."  
  
"Love...young love," Chris sang, deepening his voice so he sounded like a crooner.  
  
"Randy, hey," Stephanie said chirpily into the phone, "Yeah, you did call too early you silly boy."  
  
"Oh, I love you, you crazy boy, you are the dreamiest, most neat-o guy I've ever met. Let's go steady and I can wear your letterman's jacket and your fraternity pin, and I'll be the envy of all the girls on the cheerleading squad," Chris said, raising his voice to sound like a girl.  
  
Stephanie gave him a dirty look, "Sorry Randy, I didn't hear you over an obnoxious noise coming from my best friend."  
  
"I said I missed you," Randy told her.  
  
"I miss you too," Stephanie said softly, leaning on the counter as Chris set a cup of coffee, two sugars, beside her. She took it and sipped at it, moaning silently as the warm liquid slid down her throat. "Caffeine is my god."  
  
Randy laughed on the other end, "First cup of coffee?"  
  
"Yes, and boy did I need it!"  
  
"What happened last night?"  
  
"Well, my parents were abducted by robots and then they wanted a ransom, but I wouldn't pay the ransom, so I was challenged to a duel with Shane, and so I got into a fencing outfit, the one that looks like a beekeeper's suit or something, and then we fenced and I won, so I didn't pay and my parents were pulverized by specialized lasers from the robots and then I cheered and everyone lifted me onto their shoulders so that they could have a parade for me."  
  
"Wow, that sounds like it was some time, I wish I could've been there."  
  
"Or we skipped out on the party and then came home and gorged ourselves on cookies and whipped cream."  
  
"Oh, you know that's total bullshit," Randy said, "That is such a fake story. Don't lie about the robots."  
  
"Damn, you caught me," Stephanie giggled, "So what are you doing today?"  
  
"Well, I was hoping that you would let me into your house, but seeing as how I can't get you to shut up for two seconds, I haven't gotten to tell you I'm at your front door."  
  
Stephanie squealed and dropped the phone. Chris winced at the sound and watched as she ran out of the room at top speed. He followed her nonchalantly into the foyer where she threw open the door to a smiling Randy. She threw her arms around him and he hugged her tightly, letting his face settle against her hair.  
  
"You came! I can't believe you came! This is like a ten on the scale of good surprises. Now normally, not the biggest fan of them, but this one is so good, I'm willing to overlook it. It's like you found the loophole in the contract of me, you know, no surprises unless they're really good!"  
  
"I had to come see you, I missed you," he said, whispering into her hair.  
  
"I missed you too! But then I had Chris around, so it wasn't like I missed you all that much. He has his ways of distracting me when I want to be distracted...wow, that sounded so unintentionally sexual. I'm not having sex with him or anything...now you probably think I'm having sex with him."  
  
"She's not having sex with me," Chris interjected, as Stephanie pulled away to wrap her arms around Randy's waist, "Although if I were having sex with her, I doubt that I would tell her boyfriend I was, but given the fact, I could probably beat you up, I might tell you, but suffice to say that I'm not sleeping with her."  
  
"You guys talk a lot," Randy said, looking between the two of them. "How do the two of you even keep up with each other?"  
  
"We have this system of talking," Stephanie said, "It's called, 'the other shuts up when one is talking.' It works for us."  
  
"Yeah, it's like a plan, you know, that way, we can each say what we want to say without being interrupted. Although she loves to interrupt, but I just go with the flow because she's my best friend and she had a mean slap. Keep that in mind for future reference. I've been on the receiving end numerous times. I've come this close to reporting her to the authorities and having them take her away. She's dangerous."  
  
"Oh be quiet Snooks, you know nothing about me," Stephanie said with a frown.  
  
"I know everything about you," Chris said, "So Randy, if you ever need to know something about Stephanie, just ask me, I mean, I know what kind of pajamas she wore in the seventh grade. I should've majored in Stephanie in college, and then I could've gotten my doctorate, and then I could go around the country speaking exclusively about Stephanie."  
  
"Yeah, I am quite the subject. There are so many facets to me that I'm like a puzzle box...ooh, or like those kid's toy, the box with the shapes and then they have the shapes and they put them in the slot to fill it up, and that's like me, I'm many shapes that come together."  
  
"Stephanie likes weird analogies," Chris said, "Enjoy." He drank his coffee as he walked back into the kitchen, leaving Stephanie and Randy alone. Randy took the opportunity to properly say hello to her, pressing his lips against hers. Stephanie ran her hands along his cheeks, sighing happily as he pulled away.  
  
"My mom called this morning and she's probably mad at me because Chris and I left last night, but I just couldn't stay there any longer. Some guy hit on me!"  
  
"What!"  
  
"Chris and I took care of him. We pantsed him and then ran away giggling into the night, but not before we turned on all the faucets in the bathroom, AND spiked the punch."  
  
"Wow, rebels," Randy said, reassured that Chris was there and had taken care of his girlfriend.  
  
"Yeah, WITH a cause, and that cause is to make my parents as miserable as possible. Because they made me miserable when I was younger, so it's my turn now. The ball is in my court," she said, with a hint of evil laughter, "Did you want some coffee or something?"  
  
"No, I've been up a while," he said, "I had some on the plane."  
  
"So what do you want to do?"  
  
"I was hoping to take you out for lunch and then maybe we could go to a movie or something."  
  
"Sounds like a date."  
  
"I would consider it one yeah, we can do whatever you want to do though."  
  
"Ever been paddle-boating?" she asked excitedly.  
  
"I can't say that I have," he said with a short smile.  
  
"You think it's stupid huh?" she asked, a little hurt.  
  
"No, I just, I don't know if I'm the paddle-boating type," Randy said.  
  
"Did someone say paddle-boating?" Chris said, sticking his head into the foyer, "I thought I heard the magic word."  
  
"You did!" Stephanie answered, clapping her hands together happily, "I was thinking that it would be fun."  
  
"Randy, if you don't want to go, I will so go, you and I have to duel it out," Chris said, narrowing his eyes at Stephanie.  
  
"Oh yeah, like you didn't get your ass whooped last time," Stephanie said  
  
"No way! We designated the bush as the finish line and you did NOT win!"  
  
"I did to!"  
  
"Fine, rematch!" Chris shouted defiantly.  
  
"Oh, you are on!" Stephanie said, glaring at him.  
  
"I feel like I've walked into a war zone," Randy said, looking between the two of them, "What's going on?"  
  
"We race paddleboats," Stephanie explained, "It's fun, we each get our own and we try to paddle as fast as we can to a designated spot and then I always win."  
  
"If you win, it's cause I let you."  
  
"Well, this seems like something you two do, so how about I just take you to lunch Steph, and you and Chris can do this paddle-boating thing."  
  
"You sure, it's fun."  
  
"I'm not sure it's my kind of fun," Randy said gently, kissing her cheek.  
  
"Suit yourself, down Snooks, you here me, down."  
  
"Over my over-turned boat!"  
  
Stephanie went upstairs to change into a pair of shorts and a short-sleeved shirt. She ran back down the stairs trying to pull her hair into a ponytail. Randy was waiting on the stairs for her, dressed in his khaki pants and a nice button-down shirt. They looked totally different, but it fit for them.  
  
"Snooks, I'm going, better get those leg muscles working," Stephanie called out into the living room.  
  
"You better get your pouting face on, because that's what you're going to be doing once you lose Stephers!"  
  
"Not a chance," she told him, blowing him a kiss before she left with Randy. This did not go unnoticed by him, but he didn't acknowledge it. Him and Stephanie were good and he trusted Chris. Besides, they never showed anything resembling attraction for one another.  
  
Stephanie showed them a casual outdoor restaurant where they had a couple of sandwiches. Stephanie kept talking about the night before and how boring it had been, except for her guardian angel, Chris. Randy hated getting jealous of anything or anyone, but he really wished he could've been there with her last night.  
  
"Steph?"  
  
"Hmm?" she asked, a mouthful of club sandwich muffling her answer.  
  
"When are we going to tell your parents about us?"  
  
She swallowed, "You actually WANT to tell them?"  
  
"Well, my parents know," he shrugged, "They don't care."  
  
"You've met my parents right?"  
  
"Yeah, but come on, we've been going out almost a month and I'm kind of sick and tired of the hiding."  
  
"But Randy...my parents, they will massacre you and then stick your decapitated head on a stick and proudly display it on their front yard," Stephanie said, not a hint of joking in her voice.  
  
"I can handle it."  
  
"Ok, if you want...we can set something up," Stephanie nodded. They ate the rest of their meal in silence before Randy drove them back to Stephanie's house. She got out quietly, and went inside. She hadn't spoken for thirty minutes, which was a new record for her, beating out her previous record of three minutes, and that was only when Chris had made her be quiet so he could hear something.  
  
"Snooks, I'm back," Stephanie called out, breaking her temporary vow of silence. He came into the foyer in a pair of long basketball shorts and a tank top that showed off his biceps. He smiled at them as he walked closer.  
  
"You ready?" he asked Stephanie.  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
Before she knew it they were in line for the paddleboats. She was distracted and only looked up when they said that they only had one left. Chris sighed and looked at her, seeing what her opinion was. She shrugged and climbed into the boat before Chris followed her. They paddled silently for a little while around the large lake.  
  
"Randy wants to tell my parents about us."  
  
"So the Dreamboat wants to quit hiding," Chris said.  
  
"I don't want to throw him to the wolves."  
  
"It was bound to happen sometime. I mean, what if you married him, would you not tell them then? I know you dislike them Stephers, but they would eventually find out when you started having kids and stuff, so you might as well get it over with now before you find yourself having to explain why you need the day off to go to your kid's college graduation."  
  
"They'll butcher him. Then they'll cook him and make me eat him and it will all be very Shakespeare like. Look at what they did to you!"  
  
"I only have the one scar," Chris laughed, then sensing Stephanie's nervousness, he stopped paddling altogether and looked over at her. She was staring straight ahead and he moved her head to look at him. "Don't worry about it. Your parents are nothing. They mean nothing and anything they say is nothing."  
  
"You're right, I just, they hurt you."  
  
"They just called me a loser and low-brow."  
  
"But that was mean."  
  
"I can live with name calling."  
  
"I'm sorry they were like that Snooks. If only you didn't want to be my friend..."  
  
"Who said I did, if memory serves me right, and my memory is so wonderful. You forced me to be your friend, forced Stephers, forced like you would force a nail into a piece of wood."  
  
"But you wanted to be my friend."  
  
"Yeah, I wanted to be your friend."  
  
She smiled at him, and felt very calm now. He had the uncanny ability to make her feel so at ease and she thanked him forever for it. She smiled lopsidedly at him and he leaned forward. Her smile turned to a serious face as he leaned closer and then he kissed her cheek before pulling away.  
  
"Don't worry about it Stephers, he'll do just fine." 


	10. Chapter 10

Stephanie used to have a crush on Chris. It was impossible not to. It had been right after they had become friends. She had never had anyone who could actually relate to her, who understood her, who actually liked her the way she was. It was rare to find that, and she was fortunate.  
  
She hadn't expected him to even want to be her friend. She had been truly contrite after spilling hot liquid on him, and apologized profusely for weeks. She had expected him to get mad and tell her to leave him the hell alone, but he never did. He simply embraced her into his life.  
  
How could she not fall for that? He was just too perfect. Over time though, they fell into a comfortable relationship and that crush had faded over time. Now she was with Randy and she was happy with him, and he wanted to potentially ruin that by telling her parents.  
  
"Maybe I can throw myself down a flight of stairs and get amnesia and then I won't remember them as my parents and then Randy won't have to meet them."  
  
"We don't live in a 1940's B-movie Stephers."  
  
"Well, how about we build a time machine and go back and I just won't go out with Randy."  
  
"Can we go back to my freshmen year of high school, there's an embarrassing moment I'd really like to erase?"  
  
"Yeah we can do that. So about the machine, how are we going to get past this pesky time/space continuum thing?"  
  
"I think we can buy a thing at Home Depot that would take care of that," Chris said, munching on some chips as Stephanie swept up some crumbs off of his shirt.  
  
"Good, because we're going to need it. I don't know if Randy has a death wish or something, I mean, if he wanted to commit suicide, there are easier ways. Talking to my parents about anything is like, well it's like you walk around in a circle for a really long time and then you just find that you've been walking in circles and that's it. My life has been one big circle of walking."  
  
"Aren't you dizzy?"  
  
Stephanie took a deep breath, "Randy is upstairs showering and he thinks this is a great idea, how do I get out of this, I need to get out of this!"  
  
"Maybe that whole throwing yourself down the stairs thing isn't so bad an idea," Chris said.  
  
"I told you!"  
  
"Stephers, you just have to get this over with. Sooner or later they were going to find out. It's like when you use someone's toothbrush, they will find out."  
  
"I used it once, and you said I could!"  
  
"Yeah, but you didn't have to drop it on the ground now did you?"  
  
"You're trying to lighten the mood, and it's not going to work you know. Snooks, I'm three seconds away from becoming the first ever victim of spontaneous human combustion. And then you'll get burned off my flying body parts and won't be able to make the funeral, and my brother will speak at it, and then he'll say something like I was a horrible sister, and then no one will cry and I'll have to come back and haunt everyone, and I don't want to haunt anyone, it's too time-consuming."  
  
"I'll just douse you with the fire extinguisher if you should happen to suddenly burst into flames," Chris shrugged, "That way, I can play the hero, and you won't have to haunt anyone ever."  
  
"Well thanks," she said sarcastically, "I wouldn't want to have to go through all the trouble of buying chains and a white sheet."  
  
"You could just steal them, what with the being a ghost and everything."  
  
"Oh yeah, that whole getting to walk through walls thing, that would be cool actually...I could spy on you in the shower."  
  
"Don't creep me out Stephers."  
  
"I have to call my parents. I don't think I know their phone number. I've never wanted to willingly call them. The connection between their house and mine is dead. It died a slow, cruel death one chilly winter's night. It tried to navigate itself through a dark wood and unfortunately lost its bitter fight with the forces of nature."  
  
"Oh, I picked it up off the side of the road and brought it to my house and gave it some warm clothes and some soup." Chris took a piece of paper from his pocket and crumpled it up before throwing it at Stephanie's head. She wasn't expecting it and it hit her in the temple.  
  
"Snooks! That could've poked me in the eye, and I could've gotten a paper- cut on my eye and you could've been the cause for me going blind. And then I'd have an eye patch, and a glass eye and what if it fell out and rolled across the floor!"  
  
"Could I call you Captain Stephers, and buy you a parrot and a pirate's hat?"  
  
"Only if I get a hook," she said as she unwrapped the paper he had thrown at her. "My parent's phone number. Whose side are you on Snooks?"  
  
"I'm on the side of common sense. And common sense tells me that you should just face your parents and get this over with before you lose the Dreamboat because you won't face your parents at all. Now, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that he won't be too pleased that you won't tell your parents. This is a hard-based assumption that I came to after receiving the raw data from the scientists at NASA. I had them run it through the computer."  
  
"Oh, you should've just run it through Shane, you would've gotten the same affect."  
  
"Good idea, I'll use that next time."  
  
"Ok, I'm going to steel my nerves and call my parents."  
  
"What if nerves were made of steel, I'd imagine that you would lose a lot of mobility, what with being stiff and all."  
  
"You could be like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz," Stephanie pointed out, "Wear a little tin hat and do a nice soft-shoe number."  
  
"I wouldn't want to be the Tin Man, he was like stuck in the same position for days, and I could never do that."  
  
"Oh yeah, because you're going to just freeze up one day and stick that way."  
  
"Did your mother never tell you that it could freeze that way if you do it too much."  
  
"Do what too much? Have sex? Well, I'd imagine it'd be a pretty awkward, and then having to explain it to the doctor's who try to separate you, that'd be a chore, not to mention, how the hell would you even get to a hospital? Well, I guess there are certain positions where you could drive," she mused.  
  
"Stalling never became anyone."  
  
"Yeah, stalling when you're stuck in a sexual position would have to be the worst, how would you even get out of the car?"  
  
Chris grabbed the phone out of Stephanie's hand, then grabbed the paper as well. He avoided her trying to grab for the phone by putting his hand on her forehead. She growled at him and he just laughed and mouthed, "it's ringing," to her. Stephanie started to go into panic attack mode and actually threw herself onto Chris, landing square on top of his body as the phone was picked up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Linda I presume."  
  
"Who is this?"  
  
"It's Chris, Chris Jericho."  
  
"Oh," Linda said, her tone turning colder, "Stephanie isn't here."  
  
"Oh Linda, of course she's not there. Stephanie is never there, she's actually here with me. She's very close to me right now, you can say she's bearing down on me."  
  
Stephanie pushed herself off of Chris's chest, "I hate you."  
  
"Chris, what do you need? Is this important or are you simply calling to waste my time?"  
  
"Linda, I would never waste your time. If I talk to you, it is always of the utmost importance. Why, if I were calling for the sake of calling, I would engage you in the most sophisticated conversation of your life until you were filled with a sparkling laughter. But that's not this day, this day, Stephanie, your wonderful, beautiful daughter, has a matter that just cannot wait another second to be discussed with you."  
  
Stephanie glowered as Chris shoved the phone in her direction. She tried to wave her hands, signaling that she didn't want to talk to her mother after all. Chris just shoved the phone more forcefully at her. She jumped off the couch and started running for the kitchen. Chris followed and managed to catch up to her quickly, grabbing her with one arm and putting the phone up to her ear with the other.  
  
"Hi Mom," she said dully, wishing she could turn around to give Chris the dirtiest look possible.  
  
"Stephanie, what is this about? Your crackpot friend calls, spouting off nonsense, and now you're talking, and I would like to know what about?"  
  
"Look Mom, I didn't want to call you and talk to you any more than you wanted to talk to me!"  
  
"Then why did you call?"  
  
"I have a boyfriend, and he wants to tell you about us, and I don't, but you know what, what I want right now doesn't really matter so you can go along with this or I can hang up."  
  
"Come over for dinner tonight, we want to meet this boy," Linda said, her voice deadly serious.  
  
Stephanie closed her eyes, she knew this was coming, "Mom, dinner?"  
  
"Yes Stephanie, I think that we deserve to meet this boy of yours, and as such, we would like him to come to dinner. Be here at 6:30 sharp for cocktails, dinner at 7:00. Will Chris be coming as well?"  
  
"Hold on," Stephanie said, then turned to Chris, who had since let her go. She put her hand over the mouthpiece. "Snooks, will you please come tonight? Please?"  
  
"Oh no," Chris said, shaking his head resolutely, "I've been there for dinner, I know that place. Your parents will eat me alive like they did last time. Your mother still hates me for spilling that one drop of salad dressing on the tablecloth. She probably wants to hang me with that tablecloth if she could get away with it."  
  
"Snooks, oh please, I can't do this alone."  
  
"You'll have the Dreamboat there, and you'll be fine, I promise, and you know that I never go back on a promise, except if the promise is a ridiculous one that can't possibly be fulfilled."  
  
"So that promise you made about getting me a unicorn, that one isn't going to come true?"  
  
"No, I'm sorry Stephers, I just can't do it. Unless you want me to craft a horn of ivory or something and then paste it onto a horse. I could do that, but you know, hunting for ivory is illegal, and the last thing I need is to get caught hunting for elephants. Do you know how many shots you have to get to go to Africa, far too many for my liking."  
  
"You could just get a paper towel roll and paint it white."  
  
"You're so smart," he said, hugging her, "But your mom is still on the phone."  
  
"Damn it," Stephanie said, "I was hoping this was a nightmare and that I would look down and the phone would be replaced by something infinitely better than my mother, a poisonous snake perhaps."  
  
"Talk."  
  
Stephanie brought the phone back up to her ear and sighed, "No Mother, he will not be joining us this evening, so go ahead and uncork that bottle of champagne and celebrate now."  
  
"That's all I needed to know Stephanie, I'll see you at 6:30 sharp."  
  
"Yes Mother." Stephanie hung up the phone and turned to Chris with a scowl on her face. "Look what you did! Now I have to go over there!"  
  
"What I did, if I am correct in this assumption, you're doing this to make your boyfriend happy."  
  
"Happy with what?" Randy asked as he walked into the kitchen, his hair still wet from the shower.  
  
"We're going to see my parents tonight at 6:30 sharp, so be ready for a flogging," Stephanie said, her tone upbeat in such a way you knew she was faking her chipper tone. "Wouldn't want to be late to the public hanging."  
  
"Wait, we're going to tell them?"  
  
"Yes, we're going to tell them," Stephanie said.

Randy rushed over to her and picked her up, hugging her tightly. "You are so amazing, you know that right?" Randy said, kissing her.  
  
"And that is my cue to leave," Chris said, "Thank you folks, goodnight, try the chicken, it's lightly roasted with a garlic marsala sauce. Have a nice evening."  
  
"Snooks, where are you going to be?"  
  
"I'm just going to hang around here. If you need a getaway car, give me a call, I'll go to the airport and get a rental car with tinted windows. I'll make sure they can't trace it back to me either."  
  
"Good, no money trail, you hear?"  
  
"Of course I know."  
  
Chris left the room and Stephanie hugged herself to Randy. She didn't want to go to her parents, but she knew that Randy really wanted to let the cat out of the bag, and she could do nothing but go along with it. It would be difficult, she knew how her parents worked, but she was going to try her damnedest not to make scene tonight.  
  
So here she stood, looking at the ornate wooden door that stood stalwart in front of her. To her, it was like the dungeon door. She had spent eighteen years here, every one dragging out in long succession until she had left the first chance she had gotten. This door, these windows, these walls had stifled her for years, constricting her. She grabbed Randy's hand tightly.  
  
"We can still make a break for it. I've climbed over the gate walls a million times, I actually carved notches in the wall to help me climb out. It took me a while, and I became very adept at using sculpting tools, but it really was worth it every time I didn't scrape my knee against the wall."  
  
"Steph, it'll be fine," Randy said before reaching out to ring the doorbell.  
  
Stephanie fidgeted nervously as one of the maids answered the door. She allowed them entrance into the main foyer and Randy looked around, impressed by it all. "This place is huge."  
  
"Not huge enough for me to co-exist with my parents. I moved out the day after I graduated from high school. I moved in with a friend for a while."  
  
"Oh," Randy said as they were led into a large room, decorated nicely. Linda and Vince were perched on one of the sofas, each with a drink in their hand. To say they were surprised to see Randy was an understatement. Stephanie could see them scrutinizing him even as they stood there.  
  
"Randy, we certainly weren't expecting to see you come through this door with our daughter," Linda said.  
  
"Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend Randy," Stephanie said without emotion, "You already know him."  
  
"We certainly do," Vince said, "Sit."  
  
Stephanie took Randy's hand and went to the unoccupied sofa and sat on it. Randy sat close to her and she took one of his hands into her lap. She felt the squaring off about to happen and she prepared for it as best she could. At least they didn't have the disgusted look on their face yet. As soon as Chris had walked in the door, they had that face.  
  
"How long have you been seeing each other?" Linda fired the first question off.  
  
"Three weeks."  
  
"That's a good amount of time," Vince said, "And yet we have heard nothing of this relationship. Hiding it?"  
  
"From you," Stephanie said, "Because I didn't want to have this conversation."  
  
"What makes you think you're good enough to date a McMahon Randy?" Vince asked, turning to the man, ignoring Stephanie completely.  
  
"Well, I really like her Vince, and she likes me too, and I think that's enough for me to want to date her."  
  
"Oh really, you think that's it?"  
  
"Yes, I do."  
  
"If that is the only thing driving this relationship, you won't last," Vince said, "You need to offer her something. You can't go around dating a McMahon and not expect to be anything other than the best."  
  
"Which is more than we can say for that best friend of yours Stephanie," Linda added.  
  
"This is not the time to attack Chris!" Stephanie said, standing up, "What is it going to take for you to see that he is not a bad guy!"  
  
"Steph," Randy said, standing up and trying to calm her down. "It's ok."  
  
"No, it's not ok! You go around making fun of my best friend, someone who has been there for me, even when he didn't have to be. I don't get you sometimes. Do you live in another dimension. Are you really from the past or something that you can't see the goodness in Chris's heart for putting up with me! You two are drones!"  
  
"Stephanie Marie McMahon, do not take that tone with us," Vince roared. "Then do not insult my friends!"  
  
"Well when you pick friends like that, how are we supposed to just let it slide," Linda said calmly. "We have given you the best of everything, we wanted so much more for you Stephanie--"  
  
"You wanted me to marry the first rich lawyer that you could find for me."  
  
"Yes, one who could provide for you."  
  
"I can provide for myself!"  
  
"Not when you are acting like a child."  
  
"I am not! If I were acting like a child, I would be on the ground, screaming and pounding my fists against the ground. And maybe having a lollipop in my mouth, but do you see any of those things, no! Although I would like the lollipop."  
  
"Everything is a joke to you Stephanie," Linda said, "Nothing is serious in your world, and while that may be fine for now, nobody is going to want someone like that. If you never take anyone or anything seriously, then no one will take you seriously."  
  
"Excuse me, but I'm going to have to step in here," Randy said, "Maybe this will get me thrown out of this house, but I'm not going to stand here and listen to you say these things. The reason I wanted to date Stephanie in the first place was because I always saw her laughing and joking, and I thought that was the most endearing thing about her. You say that no one will take her seriously. I do. I take her seriously and I love her laughter and her jokes, and quite frankly, you are wrong about her. I wanted to tell you about us, I was hoping she did too, but after seeing how you treat your own daughter, I don't think you even deserved to know."  
  
"Watch your mouth young man, I am your boss," Vince said.  
  
"And she's your daughter and to treat her in such a manner is a disgrace." Randy grabbed Stephanie's hand, "Let's go Stephanie, I've tired of the present company."  
  
Stephanie took his hand silently and walked out of the house with him. She was in awe of what he had just said and she couldn't believe that he had stood up to her parents like that. She couldn't believe and it left her almost speechless.  
  
"Randy, you are my new hero!" Stephanie yelled hugging him and letting him pick her up. She kissed him over and over again. "You were...wow!"  
  
"I'm sorry I made you come tonight, if I had known..."  
  
"It's ok, can we just go back to my house?"  
  
"Of course," Randy said, never having seen Stephanie with so few words to say and nothing witty at all.  
  
Stephanie just stared out the window of the car as they sped home. Randy grabbed her hand, and squeezed it in reassurance. She didn't squeeze back, but did offer him a tiny smile. When they got back to the house, she went upstairs and told him to wait downstairs, that she would be down in a bit, that she just needed a few minutes by herself. He sat on the couch and cursed himself for suggesting this horrible evening.  
  
Chris had been listening to music as the door creaked open and Stephanie walked inside. Chris saw her face and immediately opened his arms to her. She crawled on the bed, not caring that her shirt was low-cut and giving Chris an eyeful. Chris didn't care about that kind of stuff anyways. She let him hug her.  
  
"Bad?"  
  
"Worse than bad? Imagine hell. Imagine hell for the people that run hell. That was tonight."  
  
"Why aren't you with the Dreamboat?"  
  
"Because you're the only one who's allowed to see me cry."  
  
"You're not going to cry. Crying is for the weak, crying is for babies, we don't cry."  
  
"You cried when you hurt your hand."  
  
"Well that hurt like a bitch," Chris said, "I was allowed."  
  
"So why aren't I allowed? Is there some kind of special code that I need to use in order to get into the crying club? I can pay for membership."  
  
"It's a hundred dollars, but you get a cool card that states you're part of the club."  
  
"I hate them so much."  
  
"I know," he said, "It'll be alright Stephers, you haven't needed them before and you don't need them now."  
  
"Yeah, you're right, after all, as long as I always have you, nothing else seems so bad."


	11. Chapter 11

1Stephanie smiled to herself as she saw Trish leap into Chris's arms. She was glad her best friend was so incredibly happy. It made her believe in happy endings, not that this was the ending to some sort of movie, or soap opera, or television show. This was life, and it was so beautiful. She had gotten so sappy since Randy had told her parents off, and as she leaned against the starched, blue fabric of his dress shirt that he was wearing for the show...and had been wearing since he woke up today. Quite the contrast from her red jogging pants and matching red tank top.

"Isn't it romantic," Stephanie sang to Randy as she looked over at Chris and Trish.

"Maybe we should leave them alone."

"But I'm trying to improve my spying skills. I'm trying out for the CIA...oh shit, now I have to kill you because you know."

"Please don't, I enjoy being with you far too much to die."

"Well, when you put it like that, all I can do is sigh and wish that I was a southern belle and you were pushing me on a giant swing while my hair flowed freely through the balmy, southern air."

"Stephanie, is it pretty in the world that you live in?"

"It's very pretty, it's all very sparkly and twinkly, why do you ask?"

He didn't answer, just leaned down to kiss her. She kissed him back and put her hand on the back of his neck. She didn't notice that Chris had started to walk over to them, but saw her kissing Randy and decided to leave well enough alone. He went over to Trish and took her hand in his.

"So are you glad to see me?" Trish asked coyly.

"As glad I am whenever they give me extra fortune cookies when I get Chinese food, and let me tell you, that's a lot."

Trish laughed, "Well I'm glad to know I'm on par with the fortune cookies."

Chris leaned down and brushed her blonde hair back behind her shoulder and kissed her softly. He trailed a kiss up her jaw and she ducked her head a little. He leaned in closely to her ear as she wrapped an arm around him to pull him a little bit closer.

"You're a little higher than fortune cookies," he whispered right into her ear.

"Even better," she whispered back.

He pulled away and smiled, "And since it looks like Stephanie is about to suck Randy's face off, how about we go get some food, because I'm starving and I think I need something to eat before I rip off my own arm and just chomp on that."

"And I don't want to date a one-armed man, so I guess I'll go with you."

Trish linked her arm through Chris's as they walked to wherever catering was for that evening. Chris was happy to be with Trish; she really was one-of-a-kind. He vaguely wondered what Christian thought of this arrangement since he also had a crush on Trish. But he didn't want to admit that he was better than Christian was, even if it was the truth.

Just as they turned the corner, they saw Vince and Linda walking up ahead of them, both of them looking at some papers in a manila envelope. Chris was still a little angry that they had made her cry, but in times past, she hadn't had anyone to lean on. Now she had Randy to lean on, and she didn't need him. It was nice that she had someone, but to not feel needed...it was a little sad.

Linda looked up and saw him. Nothing could hide the sour look on her face, but then she nudged Vince. Vince looked over at her and she looked at him and he looked straight ahead to see Chris walking with Trish. At this point, Chris was talking animatedly to Trish in order to ignore any looks he was going to get from Vince and Linda.

"Chris Jericho, we need to talk," Vince's strong voice said as Chris looked up at him.

"Look, I don't know where Stephanie is."

"This isn't about where she is, be in my office in no more than ten minutes."

"Is this about the show?"

"Be in the office."

"Whatever," Chris said with a sigh as they walked past.

"What do you think that was all about?" Trish asked once Vince and Linda were out of earshot.

"I don't know what that was bout, because they hate me. I imagine it has something to do with them paying me off in order to stop being friends with Stephanie. Like that would stop me. Even if they did try to pay me off, I'd just pull a Romeo and Juliet. Minus the suicide of course, I mean, nothing says, 'this story sucks,' anymore than a double suicide."

"You ramble a lot," Trish laughed.

"I better go to the office and see what they want."

"I thought you were about to chomp through your arm?"

"I am, but it's better than getting shot in the back of the neck by any of Vince's cronies. I can just picture it now, me running through the hills and them chasing after me until they shoot me down and then they laugh and laugh."

"It won't be so bad, meet up with me in catering," Trish said, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

Chris walked down the hallway like he was walking to an execution. He didn't like interacting with Vince and Linda period. They had been happy to sign him, he remembered, they were promising great things for him. Those things had happened, but the dark cloud over him, the dark cloud that was his friendship with their daughter. It was like they thought that Stephanie hadn't been outgoing before she met him, but obviously they didn't know their daughter at all if they thought that.

He walked into the office without knocking and looked at Vince and Linda, who both sat there and stared at him. It was not unlike the stare that he often received when they saw him with Stephanie. He walked over and plopped himself down in the chair across from Vince's large desk. He gave an emotionless glance to them and shrugged.

"You wanted to see me," he said nonchalantly.

"Yes, we wanted to talk to you...it's come to our attention our daughter thinks very fondly of you."

Chris scoffed, "When did you come to that brilliant conclusion?"

"We didn't ask for a smartass," Vince said, "We asked a question."

"Yes, she's fond of me," Chris answered, "Is that what you wanted to know? Because you could've just asked me when we were in the hallway."

"No, that's not it, but you must've known that she was dating Randy Orton."

"She's dating Randy Orton, are you kidding me! I didn't know this at all! When did this happen, I need to talk to Stephanie! Oh my God, was that the guy I saw her with! NO! I can't believe this," Chris said, trying his best to sound like he didn't know. Vince and Linda were not amused.

"As our daughter's...friend, we wanted to know if you could inform us about our daughter's relationship with Randy Orton. As far as we're concerned, we want our daughter to only have the best. Don't you want that for Stephanie, Chris?" Linda said calmly.

"I've always wanted what was best for Stephanie. And I think Stephanie knows what's best for her? That's what makes her so special, in that she's a smart girl and she makes smart decisions. Maybe you don't think anything she does is smart. Maybe you think her biggest mistake is being friends with me, but Stephanie knows what's best for her, trust me."

"So you're not willing to help?"

Chris couldn't believe them and what they were trying to do. They were actually trying to what? Turn him against Stephanie? Make them choose them over Stephanie? They really didn't know him, and they really didn't know Stephanie. But of all this, the main thing they didn't know was that his friendship with Stephanie was the most important thing in the world to him, and he didn't go against his best friend.

"No, I'm not."

"You're going to lose her if they keep this up," Vince told him, "You're going to lose her."

"What do you mean?"

"She'll start spending more and more time with Randy, they may get married, and where do you think that's going to leave you Chris."

"I think that's going to leave me...probably in the guest room whenever I go over there. I usually stay in the guest bedroom anyways. We just call it my room. Sometimes she falls asleep in my room, she can be a little annoying at night, but I'm fine with that. Oh well, see you guys," Chris said cheerfully as he got up and gave them a small wave before leaving.

"Do my eyes deceive me, or was my Snooks coming out of my parent's office?" Stephanie said, feigning shock.

"No, I'm a hologram and I'm really around the corner projecting this to freak you out. I dare you to try and hug me and see how hard you fall into the door once you go through my holographic body."

"Wow, I want to be a hologram too. Then I can be in two places at once. Instead of having to run between two places and change in a phone booth or a public bathroom or something."

"Change in a phone booth? What are you, a superhero."

"I'm Super Stephy!" Stephanie said, putting her hands on her hips and taking a decidedly super-heroic pose.

Chris picked her up from the waist. "Then I'm the..."

"Super Snooks," Stephanie answered, "And we can fight crime and conquer the super villains, the Mysterious McMahons."

"You've thought about this too much. Oooh, I get dibs on the invisibility."

"Fine, but I get the super strength," Stephanie said, "And you'll look like the wimp that you are."

"Hey, that's not fair!"

"Seems fair to me," Stephanie said, "So where's the blonde bombshell, Snooks?"

"Catering, she thinks I'm still in a meeting so I can hang out with you. And where is the dreamboat?"

"Being totally like dreamy," she said in a valley girl voice, "Ok, so spill the beans, why were you conversing with Drone One and Drone Two."

"I haven't spilled the beans. I don't even like beans unless they're on the super nachos from--"

"Answer before I kick you."

"They wanted me to tell them all about you."

"You mean to tell me they've forgotten who I am! Really! This is like the happiest day of my life!" Stephanie said, jumping up and down and clapping.

"No, they didn't forget who you were Stephers. Though I did try to sneak that frying pan in there to hit them over the heads with it. I would've rigged up the good old safe to drop on their heads, but I figured that was too much work. Not to mention I couldn't get the number of Acme in time for the show."

"Well damn, you know that's like the first number in my Rolodex. What would we do without our Acme supplies."

"I think we'd still be chasing after that damn Roadrunner," Chris said, balling up his fist, "Damn thing, always getting away at the last moment. Do you know how many times I've fallen for the painting of the tunnel on the rock."

"Now we're not talk about Rocky are we? Because if he has a tunnel, I don't want to know about it."

"No, just a big boulder in the middle of the desert type of rock. Are there big boulders in the desert, I thought it was sandy."

"Do we need to go to the Discovery store again and stock up on books?"

"No, no, we don't. As for Drone One and Drone Two, I didn't tell them anything. They tried though Stephers. They shone the light in my face and everything. I was truly terrified for life. They could've sent me up the river. I'm too pretty to go to jail!"

"I'd post your bail," Stephanie said, patting his cheek, "I couldn't let my pretty Snooks get violated in prison, now could I?"

"Aww, thank you Stephers, I love you."

"I know you do, and it's because of that love that I put up with you."

"I put up with you Stephers. You're lucky I didn't press charges after you scalded me."

"Yeah, like you would've won anything."

"Yeah, I know. I underestimated your persistence."

"And you shouldn't have done that, right Snooks?" she said in a gentle, scolding voice.

"No, I shouldn't have," Chris said with a pout, "I don't know what came over me. I should never doubt you. You are the wind beneath my wings Stephers, the wind."

"But you're the wind beneath MY wings."

"We can't both be wind you know."

"What's wrong with being the wind? Remember that episode of the Cosby Show where Rudy was the wind, and she wanted to be the sun, but the wind was better. Because people remember the wind."

"Who the hell remembers the wind?"

"Meteorologists," Stephanie said, matter-of-factly.

"Oh, well you got me there," Chris said, "Shucks, you win again."

"I'm always the winner," she said, extending her arms out in victory. "Oh, which reminds me, you have a match tonight."

"And who is this match against pray tell?"

"Um...Edge, I think, yeah, I think it's Edge. Could be Kane though. I really should have read that schedule more thoroughly though."

"Yeah, and I'm still a loner, I want someone to accompany me," Chris whined.

"Snooks, you know that the blonde bombshell is with Christian for the time-being."

"Can I have you with me Stephers?" Chris asked, sidling up to her.

"With you for what Snooks? As your best friend? Aww, I'm honored."

"You know what I mean."

"I know what you mean, but I don't think it'll happen. You know how my parents hate to have me out there. They think I'm too fragile to be out there. Of course Shane gets to go and act like a fool half of the time, but for me, it's like forbidden or something."

"Oh well, whenever you do come back, I want it to be with me. I miss your crazy ass being with me."

"Even after last time when everyone said I humiliated you?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

He thought back fondly to when they had played as business partners. Most of the stuff they did in that feud had been one immense inside joke. Down to the comment he made that she looked like a movie star, it was all just one huge joke for them. The hand lotion was the best part. They had thought that up the night before when they had had a lotion fight in their hotel room. Stephanie had accidentally dropped some lotion on Chris's stomach and he took some and splatted it onto her face and it ended in an all-out war like it usually did.

"People just never know the true story behind anything," Chris said. "They think they know everything, but they don't. It's like, did they even know the brand of lotion you made me get? Or do they know that you keep a small stuffed dog next to your pillow that you got from your grandfather when you were three?"

"Shut up about Mr. FooFoo."

"And if I don't?"

"Bugsy."

"I'm shutting up."

"Ha, I know all your secrets, and you have nothing on me, NOTHING," she said, giving a loud, evil, laugh from her belly.

"I'll get you Stephy, and your little dog too," Chris cackled, yes cackled. Then he turned serious for a second, "I'd never tell your parents anything that you didn't want them to know."

"I know," she smiled softly. "It's kind of why I wanted you to be my best friend in the first place. That and you have a cute butt, so if I wanted to ever slap it, because it's so cute, then I would have to become your friend so I could do it under the pretense that I was your friend. See how that works."

"So when are we going to get to that point in our friendship when it's ok for me to grab your boobs?" he asked.

She touched his cheek with her hand and looked at him sweetly. "Never."

"And why is that!"

"Because they're off limits to you."

"Oh, but my ass isn't off-limits."

"Look at it this way Snooks. Your ass is like...the Jungle Cruise. Anybody can ride it, no age limit. And while it's fun and interesting, it's still just another ride that is up for grabs. Now my boobs, they're like...well, they're like the Matterhorn--"

"Yes, they are as big as a mountain peak," he nodded.

She narrowed her eyes at him and shoved him, "That's not what I meant."

"Oh, it wasn't, well then I must've gotten my signals screwed up then. Do proceed Stephers, enlighten me on your Matterhorns."

"Fine, they're like Space Mountain."

"Still mountains."

"Fine, they're like Thunder--damn, they're like...a ride with an age limit and a height requirement. It's a better ride and therefore has stricter rules."

"But I like the Jungle Cruise. Whenever you go under the waterfall, they say, here's the back of a waterfall. And then with the elephants and stuff, fun, good times."

"But is it as good as the Haunted Mansion?"

"Are you crazy or something woman!"

"Exactly my point. Thank the Lord for Walt Disney and his happiest place on Earth so that I could adequately describe this to you."

"You could've used the Oreo vs. Double Stuff Oreo debate. I would've liked that too. But then I would've felt like Oreos."

"Chris, I've been waiting for you!" Trish called out as she walked over, "Where did you disappear to?"

"Crap, I forgot about her."

"Ooh, you're going to be in trouble. She's probably going to take you somewhere and have you caned or something. Or you might have to watch every single one of Hunter's matches in order."

"No!" Chris said, running away with his arms flailing.

Stephanie laughed, "You're not allowed to do the Test run silly!"

Chris ran back over and then to Trish, "Sorry Trish, I got caught up with Stephanie."

"That happens a lot doesn't it?"

"Only when either the sun or moon is in the sky. Otherwise, nope."

"I have to go anyways," Stephanie said, "Randy's waiting for me, see you."

She walked away and Chris couldn't help but notice that she barely said a goodbye to him. That was unusual. She usually always said something in the way of a goodbye to him. She once said it was in case it was ever the last time she saw him, she wanted him to remember her well. He thought it silly, but he had gotten used to it by now, and it was a little disappointing that she hadn't even said goodbye.

Maybe Vince and Linda, for once, were right, and he was going to lose Stephanie to Randy. He didn't like that thought one bit, and as Trish started to pull him towards their locker room, he became increasingly worried that he was going to lose her. What if the universe pulled them apart. He was not two steps further when he felt two arms wrap around his neck from behind and felt someone press a kiss to his cheek.

"I'll see you later Snooks, I want the extra pillow from your room because I hate these damn fluffy pillows, and like I would not say goodbye to you. What if this was the last time I saw you? I'd want you to remember me well."

Chris smiled.

She always did remember.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews you guys. I hope that you are enjoying the story, and that you will continue to review, because they really help. I know a lot of you are waiting for some Jericho/Stephanie romance, and I have to say, I'm thinking about it, but I'm not sure if I should, if someone feels compelled to convince me. ;)

* * *

Chris was bouncing all over the place, well, not literally, but he was definitely acting like a little kid right now. Stephanie's birthday was coming up the next day, and he was very excited for it. They always did something huge on her birthday and this year would be no exception. He just had to figure out what he wanted to do for her. He already had her present picked out; he had had it picked out for months and months.

"I don't know, I don't know, I don't know," Chris said, jumping up and down in place.

"Will you calm down?" Trish asked, laughing. "Why are you jumping around?"

"It's Stephy's birthday!" Chris said, his grin never wavering. "Her birthdays are the best, second to mine of course. Last time we had a pie eating contest and it turned into an all-out war. The best part was when I got her with the lemon meringue and it completely stuck to her face."

"Do you two celebrate by yourselves?" Trish asked, giving him a strange look.

"Uh huh, tradition," he answered. "One year we went to Universal Studios, and we pretended that we were being eaten by Jaws when we went to the beach after going on the tour. The lifeguard guy was not amused, but you should've seen Stephanie's impression, that girl can make it look like she's getting eaten by a shark, she's so talented."

"She must have some weird talents."

"She can write with her feet, now if that's not a useful talent, I don't know what the hell is."

"Ok, so she's really, really talented. What did you get her for her birthday?"

"Nope, can't tell, it's a major secret and she has to see it first, because what if it ruined the surprise. It would crush my tiny, little heart it twain."

Trish shook her head and leaned up to kiss him. "You're so cute when you're really excited."

"When else am I cute? I mean, I know that technically I'm cute all the live, long day, but there must be times when I'm cuter than cute. The averages even themselves out with me."

"You're cute when you care so much for your best friend," Trish answered. "I find that incredibly endearing."

"Wow, I need to run to my diary because that's a first. I can write it with all the I's dotted with hearts, and then I can put 'Mr. and Mrs. Jericho' all over it with hearts drawn around and then clutch my teddy bear and pretend its you and play kissy-face with it."

"You are one of the craziest men I've ever met in my life."

"Why do people say that I'm crazy? I'm not locked in a mental asylum. I wouldn't even look good in a straightjacket, I don't think white's exactly my color. Though the padded walls would be really fun to bounce off of, and I can't think of a more comfortable way to fall asleep sitting up."

"SNOOKS!" Stephanie's voice came rumbling down the hallway, and she appeared a second later in some jogging shorts and a shirt that said, "I'm Not Yours, Don't Touch" on it. She ran down the hallway at full-speed, crashing into Chris sending them both to the floor. "It's my birthday tomorrow, it's my birthday tomorrow!"

"I know!" he screamed back, people starting to stare, but seeing it was Chris and Stephanie, they went about their business. This was just their normal behavior.

"Hey Trish," Stephanie said, getting off of Chris, and then helping him up. "Have you been treating my Snooks well?"

Trish made no mention of her use of the possessive "my" that Stephanie had said about Chris. It was only natural that she refer to him as "hers," since they had been friends for a long time. And for a long time, the only people they had were each other, so it was bound to be a kind of possessive nature.

"As best I know how," she said kindly. "So I don't know where I heard it, but I heard it was your birthday tomorrow, congratulations."

"Uh huh," she nodded. "Now I just have to wait to see what Chris got me. Hopefully it's something good and useful like a chainsaw, and not something crappy like a sweater or jewelry."

"Um, you want a chainsaw?" Trish asked, a little taken aback that she would rather have a chainsaw than jewelry.

"I'm not going to like pull a Massacre on anyone or anything, though that would be so funny if I just started running around with a chainsaw, but then the cops might be called, I'd go to jail, and that would be one more thing my parents could hold over my head, and I would never give them the satisfaction. I want a chainsaw because power tools are fun."

"Ok," Trish said, feeling very out of her element. She would never want a chainsaw over a nice necklace or a beautiful pair of earrings, but that was just her. Stephanie was different, everyone knew that she wasn't your typical girl...or person for that matter. She was very much unique, in a good way of course.

"Well," Chris teased. "I didn't get you a chainsaw, because that's just impractical Stephers. But I guess I can tell you where we're going tomorrow for your birthday, since you're going to have to get ready for it."

Stephanie jumped up and down, "I'm excited! This is like....well, if I did gymnastics, or diving, or some other competitive sport and I was awaiting my scores to see if I was going to get the gold medal, so I'm expecting the gold medal. But hopefully I don't get the silver if the present is a little crappy."

"Would I get you a crappy present?"

"No, you're the best at buying me gifts Snooks. I still use the purring kitten slippers, even though one of the kittens is losing its purr, so it's really like a dying kitten, but I don't want to think about dying kittens! How depressing!"

"Ta-da!" Chris explained, pulling an envelope from the back of his pants and presenting it to Stephanie. He put his arm around Trish's waist as he waited for Stephanie to open it.

"You got me an envelope! Talk about your useful products. I can send important letters, or cards, or bills! You got me a bill-paying envelope, that's so thoughtful of you Snooks, you never steer me wrong."

"Open up the damn envelope."

"I'll hold you personally responsible if I get a paper cut."

"If you get a paper cut, I will personally drive you to the hospital and sit by your side as the doctor exams you," he said with a smile. "Now open the envelope before I grab it and gnaw at it with teeth."

"Fine, no need to turn into an animal," she said as she opened the letter to find a couple of plane tickets and an agenda of some sort. She read the tickets and what was on the agenda and grinned widely. "Snooks! I can't believe it! You remembered!"

"Do I ever forget? I must be part elephant or something...no wait, that's Asshole, what with the nose and everything."

"Who's Asshole?" Trish asked, though she felt like she shouldn't interrupt in this situation. She was feeling extremely like the third wheel right now, despite being Chris's girlfriend.

"Oh, that's our name for Hunter," Chris explained. "Or at least it's my name for Hunter, that stupid dirty bastard."

"Calm down," Stephanie, said, then went up to him and gave him a big hug. "Thank you so much, I can't believe you remembered."

"Hey, I've seen that commercial a million times. Although it didn't discourage me what with the whole cute surfer guy instructor. Because it's not my problem if you want to go out and find yourself a cute surfer, that's the Dreamboat's problem."

"I've always wanted to try surfing," Stephanie said, paraphrasing the offending commercial that made her want to try surfing in the first place. "Luckily I always pack my trusty Snooks Survival Pack. I'm ready to go when you are."

"Great, we're flying out to Southern California tonight!" Chris said, giving Stephanie a high five.

Trish tugged on Chris's sleeve. "I'm going to go and let you pack ok Chris. I'll see you when you get back, which will be?"

"Day after tomorrow," he said to her, giving her a quick kiss. "Then we can do whatever, my treat."

"Snooks is just treating everyone right now. Get him while he's in a good mood Trish, he'll do just about anything you ask if he's in a really good mood. I know from experience."

Trish laughed, "Good to know, have fun you guys."

She left Chris and Stephanie, who were talking excitedly, each one batting the other's hand away when it got to close to their face. She sighed as she turned around to give them one last look. She didn't want to get jealous of her boyfriend's best friend, but Chris was a completely different person when he was around Stephanie, someone she barely even recognized.

When he was around her, he was still his happy-go-lucky, fun-loving, hilarious guy, but when he was around Stephanie, he always got this excitement about him like he just wanted to spend every moment with her and nobody else. It was like the two of them had their own world and nobody else was allowed into their secret club. She wanted to be invited too, but it looked like it was solely for them.

She walked down the hallway, and saw Dave walking the other way. Dave was one of Stephanie's good friends and she held up a hand to stop him. He looked down at her and smiled nicely. "Hey Trish, what's up?"

"Your friends with Stephanie right?" Trish asked.

"Yeah, she's cool, crazy sometimes, but she's cool."

"And how long have you been friends with her?"

He thought about it for a second, then answered, "A couple of years now. She was actually the one to get me up here from OVW, though she said that she liked my OVW look more, but that's Stephanie for you, she always loves everything to be slightly crazy."

"Yeah, I get that vibe from her."

"She's the best though isn't she?"

"Well, I don't know her too well. She's just Chris's best friend, I haven't really gotten around to...you know, hanging out with her."

"You should, especially if you're dating Chris. Those two are joined at the hip. He's what keeps her grounded, with her parents always getting on her nerves and pouncing on everything about her, Chris really balances that out with her."

"Oh," Trish nodded. "Maybe I should get to know her better."

"Definitely, you will soon find out that Stephanie is probably the coolest person you will ever know. She's a good person, that's what makes her so fun to be around. Randy is really a lucky guy to be dating her. If I wasn't one of her friends, I would've asked her out a long time ago," Dave laughed. "Of course, I know I couldn't keep up with her, barely anyone can, but Chris."

"Thanks Dave," she said patting his arm. "I'll keep what you said in mind."

Trish continued down the hallway, still thinking. She didn't know why she was so concerned about Chris and Stephanie, she knew they were friends. She just thought it bothered her because they were such close friends and of different genders. Hadn't someone along the line said that a guy and a girl could never be "just friends?" It worried her that at any given moment, the two of them could just crash into each other.

"But that's silly," she mumbled to herself.

"What's silly?"

She looked up and saw Christian standing in front of her. They had gone on one date, and incidentally, they found out they were much better as friends, which made it a lot easier to choose to go out with Chris, even though she had rejected him the first time he had asked her out. She grinned at Christian and gave him a hug.

"Nothing," she told him.

"Oh come on, I don't hear you mumbling to yourself everyday."

"Well, I was just thinking about Chris and Stephanie, and the possibility that they could ever become an item."

"But isn't Chris dating you?"

"Yeah," she replied.

"Then why would he and Stephanie become an item if you two were together?" he asked, slightly confused.

"They wouldn't, I'm just thinking nonsensical things," she said, shaking her head, then turned serious for a moment, "You don't think they would ever, well, you know, hook-up and not tell anyone do you?"

"No."

"I wonder if they've ever...you know," Trish said, tilting her head to make an implication.

"Have you ever asked him?"

"NO! How could I do that without sounding like a complete fool? They probably haven't. I mean, yeah, they haven't, they couldn't have. I mean, really, do you think they have?"

"I think you can only ask him," Christian said.

"And if he has?"

"Then you reevaluate I guess."

"I don't know if I could look at them the same way if they had."

"Just ask him Trish."


	13. Chapter 13

Trish was hesitant to ask Chris anything that even pertained to Stephanie. Maybe it was the fact that she didn't want to hear if they had done something or maybe she just didn't care. She wasn't even fooling herself though. She didn't want to know if anything had happened between the two of them. Why would she? She knew something probably had happened. A girl and a guy couldn't just stay friends forever, she didn't believe that.

When she found Chris packing later, she walked up behind him and laid a hand on his forearm. "Chris, can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, sure, just call me Mr. Answer," he said cheerily.

"Have you ever slept with Stephanie?"

Chris froze in his packing, a red t-shirt falling limply from hi hand, an unfolding itself. Trish froze too, thinking the worst when Chris wasn't answering at all. Trish wanted to take the question back. But then Chris did something she wasn't expecting him to do. He burst into laughter.

It wasn't even just a chuckle, or a guilty laugh. It was a bust-your-gut kind of laugh, deep and filled with humor. Chris actually fell down, laughing so hard that he had tears running down his face. His side was aching as he continued to laugh, leaving Trish nothing less than confused.

"You…thought…oh my God," Chris said, gasping for breath. "Stephers…and me…sex….oh God!"

"I guess that's a no,' Trish said nervously.

"Of course it is! God, talk about awkward! Steph and I…naked…oh God…I think that would traumatize the both of us."

"I was worried," Trish said, trying to be serious.

"Why? Stephanie and I are just friends."

"But you're so close."

"So?"

"So you know…they always say that guys and girls can't be 'just friends.'"

"Have you ever met Stephanie…or me for that matter?"

"But still…you've been friends for more than four years, you've never gotten the urge to experiment with Stephanie?"

"NO! That's just gross!"

"Oh, well, I guess I was wrong then."

"Very! Come here Trish," he said, holding open his arms for her. She came over and sat down in his lap, settling herself against him. "Stephanie is my best friend. I know her better than anyone and she knows me the same way, but we're friends and that's just the way it's going to stay."

"Good, it's just you two are like…like you're with each other, and its so frustrating to try and break through the barrier."

"I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you can't. You can't work your way in. Trish, I'm going be completely honest here. Stephanie means everything in the world to me. She's my rock; the one person that I can count on forever. And nothing will ever change that. Not when it comes to her."

"Well thank you for being honest with me…go have fun and tell her a 'Happy Birthday' on me."

"Thanks, and I will."

Before they knew it, Stephanie and Chris were on a plane headed for Hawaii. They were playing a card game that was sure to be annoying all the other passengers in first class. They had already gotten three dirty looks from the uppity lady in the seat across the aisle. Stephanie and Chris had just ignored her, they figured they could spill a drink on her later.

"You cheated!" Stephanie said indignantly.

"How could I cheat?" Chris said.

"You probably have cards shoved up your sleeve or something!"

"I'm wearing a short sleeve shirt," Chris said.

"Well…you could have invisible sleeves or something, you know, I'm sure that you found the technology before we came on the flight and used it to cheat at cards."

"Then wouldn't I just be invisible all the time, and then I'd spy on you when you're taking a shower just to creep you out, and I'd pour cold water on you, and you'd get scared and run out screaming, only realizing later that you were naked."

"Then I'd strangle you while you were invisible Snooks, and you'd die, and then nobody would ever find the body," Stephanie said with a gleeful, yet decidedly evil laugh.

"You would never strangle me Stephers, because then you would have nobody that would put up with you all the time."

"Ah, my wise friend, that's where you're wrong, I have the Dreamboat remember? And he would love and adore me forever and ever, and I wouldn't need you Snooks, you would just be a passing ship in the night."

"Do you think I could take the Dreamboat?" Chris pondered.

"Like a cat takes down a mouse," she responded. "Unless the mouse has mutated into like a giant mouse. Ooh, or like Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, because he had a black belt, and I don't know any cats that have black belts, do you?"

"Oh yeah, my neighbor down the street, his cat has a black belt…or is that a red hat? I think it's the red hat, I have weird neighbors."

"Come live next to me, and then you wouldn't have to say you had weird neighbors."

"But you can be weird."

"But see…who else would you talk to your neighbors about unless it was your best friend, and who is your best friend Snooks?"

"The person who invented marshmallow fluff," Chris said without hesitation. "I don't even like marshmallow fluff, but when someone can take your ordinary marshmallow and make it into fluff, that's gotta be someone special. And fluff…just the name is cool…'I want some fluff,' 'Get me some fluff,' 'Where's the fluff, I say!' See, all good lines."

"I'm your best friend Snooks, so then you wouldn't have to complain about your neighbors, because I'm your neighbor."

"Could we get a secret underground tunnel between our houses so we wouldn't have to walk from my front door to your front door? Or one of those moving walkways like in Las Vegas that extends from my bedroom to your bedroom. Ooh, or Stephers, how about a train! Like one of those little trains and we could ride it to each other's houses."

"With a train whistle?"

"And a railroad crossing sign," Chris said, because who could have a railroad without one of those?

"My real neighbors would never go for that…and I don't think they'd like me to poke through their floor with a shovel when I dig the underground tunnel," Stephanie said with disappointment in her voice. She yawned a little, and Chris patted his shoulder. Stephanie laid her head on her shoulder. "I wish you lived next door to me."

"I'm over your house enough."

"Yeah, so I guess that you can call it your house too, except you don't pay for anything. Maybe I should start charging you rent whenever you visit."

"Then I would just call the landlord and complain all the time," Chris told her.

Stephanie laughed and then put her head on Chris's shoulder. It was a long flight, and she was starting to get a little bit tired. Chris leaned his head on hers and thought about what Trish had said earlier. He didn't want to bring it up now because the people on the plan already thought they were crazy, and he didn't want them to see Stephanie erupt in a fit of laughter, and think them even more strange.

But what Trish had said was so off-base it wasn't even really that funny. Were he and Stephanie really giving off that kind of vibe? Is that why everybody thought they were together? Maybe that was the explanation for people being nuts when it came to theories on their relationship. They simply got a vibe. But he didn't think that he was putting off any kind of vibe. He didn't think that at all.

He fell asleep as did Stephanie, much to the relief of everyone else in first class with them. They pretty much slept through the entire flight before they landed in San Diego. Stephanie was the first to wake up and she noticed they were just about to land. She squealed and grabbed Chris's arm, shaking him awake.

"I'm up, I'm up, don't shoot!" he said groggily.

"We're here, I'm excited," Stephanie said, her tone of voice reinforcing that very sentiment.

"Well, we're not going surfing today, it's too late," Chris said. "So no reason to be overly excited or anything."

"Anything, ANYTHING that gets me away from my parents for any extended period of time is good enough to warrant me acting like a buffoon. Not that I'm not a pretty buffoon, cause I really am."

"I know that you're pretty," he said, pretending to sound smarmy.

"Well, I do declare Snooks, that you are the most charming man that I have ever come across," Stephanie said, pretending to be like a southern belle.

To say they were ready to get off the plane was an understatement. They were practically bouncing in the aisles ready to get off that plane. Everyone let them go out first, since they couldn't wait to be rid of them. When they walked out to their rental car a short time later, Stephanie took a deep breath of the dewy late summer/early fall air. It was quite warm that evening and she just wanted to stand in it a little longer, but Chris pushed her into the car.

"So what are we going to do first Snooks? Are we going to rent a boat and then attempt to sail around the world? We'll have to stock up on food until we get to Hawaii, then we can just fill the boats with pineapples. Unless we go in a rubber raft, then the pineapples might puncture the boat and we'd sink, and then we'd get stuck on a deserted island, and I'm not sure I know how to make a coconut phone," Stephanie said.

"I'm sure that I could make a coconut phone, but you would have to be ready and pack for a three-hour tour."

"Which basically means I should pack up my entire wardrobe right. Oh, and maybe a few evening gowns. Not that I would be 'The Movie Star,' but she did always get billing. She wasn't stuck with, 'And all the rest,' for most of the show."

"So who am I? The Professor."

"You'd be…Gilligan," she told him, as Chris pulled up to their hotel.

They were checked into their rooms, and they went up to them. First thing that they did was open the door between the adjoining rooms. The rooms were set up nicely, there was a little seating area, a bed in each room, television. The bathrooms were pretty spectacular though, definitely worth the money for a marble Jacuzzi bathtub.

"You want to go for a walk on the beach?" Chris asked her. "It's almost sunset, it would be nice."

"Yeah, I've always wanted to see one of those…wait, that's a sunrise. Oh well, I guess I can just picture it going backwards when it's over, that's the same thing right?"

"No, but if you want, we can tape it, and then you can rewind it to help out with that visual."

"That's very sweet of you, but I don't have the patience for that kind of thing. Let me just get changed out of these airplane clothes. There's nothing worse than smelling like an airplane. Unless of course, you smell like a horse or something."

"Why did you choose a horse, there are worse smelling animals."

"Yes, but you ride horse, they're a mode of transportation. Like planes…see that whole connection that I was going for right there?"

"No, but I never get you, you know that."

"Well learn," she teased as she went back into her bedroom.

Thinking she might have the right idea, Chris grabbed some shorts, and a nice t-shirt out of his suitcase and changed into them. They were appropriate beachwear after all. Stephanie came in a few minutes after he was dressed, and she looked really great. Her hair was pulled up with a few strategically placed sticks, something that would boggle Chris's mind when he thought about it. Her outfit was one he'd never seen her in before, and he thought that he had seen all of her outfits. She was wearing a long wraparound skirt, of which he tried to think of the name, but was coming up blank at the moment. And then a spaghetti string tank top.

"You look really great," he said to her. "I don't know how I'm going to keep guys off of you. I told the Dreamboat that I would take care of you, and now I'm going to have to get a big stick and fend off the throngs of guys that are going to come after you. It'll be like shooing away seagulls."

Stephanie just rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand. They walked downstairs and out the back of the hotel, which was right on the beach. They went down to the water's edge, where the sun was just beginning its descent beyond the horizon. They walked together, not really talking, which was unusual, except for the occasional blather about a shell or a rock, or how crabs like to scuttle along the bottom of the ocean.

"Trish asked me something today."

"What? The blonde bombshell asked you something? Like in the form of a question? Like something really important?" Stephanie babbled.

"Depends on how you look at it. It's like marshmallows. They're awesome in hot chocolate, but on yams, not so much…but they're still marshmallows. So the way we would look at it, it's going to look like hot chocolate, but to her, it looked like yams."

"Ok, but you are aware that I like yams," Stephanie said.

"I'm making an example that pertains to me."

"Oh, ok, I was just thinking that if you were to make an analogy or something, that you would use something that I would get, like chocolate, usually yummy, candy bars, and the like, but chocolate-covered raisins, yuck, don't want those. See how that relates to me, because I don't like raisins, they look like rat droppings. All shriveled and crap. Isn't it really just rotten grapes, that's how it happened you know, they left them out and they shriveled up, so they're rotten. And I don't want to eat rotten food."

"Yeah, rotten food is gross. Like chunky milk. The worst is having a nice bowl of cereal and then you have rotten milk and it ruins your entire day. I mean, what's a day without a nice big bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. That's the way everyone should start their day. Wait, wait, I'm getting off track Stephers, see, this is why you need to stop talking because then you get me off track."

"It's not my fault that you couldn't come up with a good analogy as to why this question is important to the blonde bombshell but not to me."

"She asked if we slept together."

Stephanie stopped, her feet sinking into the soft sand from staying in one spot. Chris looked back to her, giving her a smile. Stephanie face was still, and then she collapsed to the ground. She started cracking up, not even fully aware that she looked silly. But Stephanie hardly cared that she looked silly. She was Stephanie, she looked silly at least two hours out of every day.

"She asked what!" Stephanie asked as she sat down on the sand. "She asked if I had SEX with you! With YOU! Oh man, what's wrong with her!"

"I don't know, she thought we had 'experimented,' or something."

"The only thing we experimented with was whether or not caramel went with every kind of fruit, because it went so well with apples. We soon learned that caramel oranges taste like crap. But sleeping together, like THAT…um, sorry, no thank you."

"That's what I told her, but still, she actually seemed worried."

"Well, she doesn't need to worry about that Snooks. I'm not going to jump you. We aren't animals that go through a mating period where we do silly dances. I can choose who I want to sleep with, and the only thing I'd do in a bed with you is sleep…or you know, eat crackers so it bothers you."

"Yeah, that does bother me. Even if you eat it on top of the covers, those damn crumbs will get in the bed. Crumbs always find their way into your bed. I don't know how they do it, but they will always find a way. And then you're moving around and you've got crumbs sticking to your legs like you're sleeping on dirt."

"Why would you be sleeping on dirt?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe if you were camping, but then you would probably be in a tent. I don't think there's any instance Snooks, where you would have to sleep on dirt. Unless, you've slept on dirt and know first hand."

"Drawing comparisons here, but I guess that would go over your head like a small aircraft."

"Or a large aircraft," she told him. "I don't want to sleep with you like that."

"I know you don't, she was just worried."

"Maybe she doesn't trust you…maybe this is her way of saying that she wants you away from me. Maybe she's giving you a veiled ultimatum. Like she's trying to be subtle about it, but she's really not, and then when you don't do what she says, she'll pounce on you like a cat, though I always imagined Trish as that yappy, little puppy who wants to bite your ankles."

"I don't think that's it."

"But it might be. This might be part of her evil plan. This could all be part of her evil plan!"

"I don't think she's capable of an evil plan Stephers."

"You never know Snooks, she could be after you…or worse, after me."

"Why would she be after you?"

"Who knows, it's her evil plan."


	14. Chapter 14

"I had a great time!" Stephanie exclaimed, embracing Randy tightly. "You should've seen me, I was riding the waves like you wouldn't believe. If the Beach Boys had been there, they definitely would've done a song about me."

"That's great," Randy answered, his voice tight and his face impassable.

Stephanie took notice of his expression almost immediately. She put her hands on his arms and stared at his face for a moment. "What's wrong?"

"Can we talk?"

"Uh oh. That's how all romantic comedies go. Am I suddenly going to find myself on a romantic journey, with a modern-day Prince Charming waiting for me at the end? Because if that's the plot for this one, I want it to be in England, I don't know why, but England seems like a good place. It must be all the accents."

She knew he was being serious, but she was Stephanie and seriousness wasn't exactly her strong suit. He place his hand on the small of her back and led her to his locker room. As soon as she and Chris had gotten to their destination, they had headed straight for the arena, despite the fact that she had wanted to stop at every single fast food place on the way to get some kid's meals so she would have toys for her car in case she got stuck in traffic. Chris refused every time.

Randy opened the door for her and she walked in before him, since Randy was ever the gentleman. She was not one to be awkward and simply fell against the couch, her back hitting the back of the couch with a thud. Randy sat next to her, much more quietly, and not as casually, and gave her a small, wary smile.

"let's try to make this breakup as nice as possible," Stephanie said, "I'll try not to cry, but if you see my lip quivering, watch out for the water, I'm talking Hoover Dam potential. One time, Chris had to have me fifteen tissues just to dry my eyes. Then he refused to throw them away, claiming they were too disgusting. Coming from the guy that eats food that I've spit on, and shares gum with me. Yeah, I've just about sufficiently grossed myself out. I must stop doing that."

"Huh? I'm not breaking up with you," Randy told her.

"Ok, that's a huge weight. I thought that was it. You were starting with the speech, and I thought to myself, 'Man, he can't even come up with a unique speech, like he suddenly found out he had a clown fetish and needed to join the circus,' but nothing that good ever happens to me. I can never tell someone that my ex ran off to the circus. Kind of tragic, don't you think?"

"Yeah…tragic," Randy said, his eyebrows creasing as he regarded her. "I just wanted to tell you how much I missed you while you were away."

"Oh, aren't you just buttered toast!"

"Buttered toast?" Randy queried, his face now more confused than ever.

"Well, everyone says, 'You're so sweet,' and that's not fair to the non-sweet food, so buttered toast means 'You're really nice and non-sweet.' Sugar gives you cavities after all. And nobody wants a mouth full of rotting teeth."

"Ok, I guess I'm buttered toast then," Randy snickered.

"Don't laugh, it makes perfect sense," she said, exaggerating a pout for his benefit.

"To you, and Chris, I'm sure it makes a ton of sense, but to a simple mind like myself, it sounds like a ton of gibberish."

"No, gibberish would be the language that Chris and I made up. For no real particular reason, simply because we had too much time on our hands and way too much food in our stomachs to do anything productive whatsoever."

"That's not all I wanted to tell you."

"Oh, you've got a watermelon then?" she said happily, clapping her hands.

"Dare I ask?"

"A watermelon means you have more than one topic, like watermelons have more than one seed, and you need to spit them out, like you need to spit out what you say. Unless you get seedless watermelons, but those are unnatural, or at least that's what I think. Is that called genetically altered fruit? My subscription to Science Today ran out a few months ago and I'll be damned if I don't know anything going on in the scientific community. I totally made up that watermelon thing though, because you seemed to genuinely like the way that I explained things."

"Oh yeah, they're great," Randy said, then added, "If I could understand you half the time. You talk faster than anyone I've ever known."

"I will see that compliment, and raise you, me shutting up so you may speak, so speak."

"Fine…I missed you and--"

"Psst," Stephanie said with a loud whisper. "You told me that already. Don't repeat what the audience knows."

"Fine, and that missing you made me realize that I, Randy Orton, love you, Stephanie McMahon. Or to put it in simpler terms, I'm in love with you. Or to put it in terms that you might understand, you are the Kelly Kapowski to my Zack Morris. Did that reference go over well, I've been wracking my brain for days thinking of an appropriate reference."

Stephanie sat there, and for the first time in her life, she didn't have a thing to say. Oh sure, in her mind, she was going over every second that led up to this, but outside, no words. It was like that episode of the Twilight Zone where the guy made a bet that he could keep silent for one year and had his vocal chords cut in order to win. Stephanie felt like she had had her vocal chords cut.

She finally choked out a response, "That's a perfect reference. I would've also accepted the Juliet to my Romeo, or the Marvin Harrison to my Peyton Manning."

"A football reference, see, I knew I should've thought broader."

"It was perfect," Stephanie said, "Absolutely perfect. Do you want me to say it back?"

"It would be nice."

"Well, can I think about it? You dumped it on me like you wanted to get rid of it, and it's like a dead fish that you haven't yet gutted. I just need time to gut the fish and see if there's something that I can cook with it."

"So you're saying you just want to think about what I said, time to process it."

"Isn't that what I said?"

"Not in so many words, no."

"Oh, well, the intent was there."

"I'm sure it was, but go ahead, process it, and get back to me."

"Yeah, I'll run it through the old processor. She hasn't let me down yet. Actually, no, that's not right. She hasn't gotten anything correct yet, which explains the fact of why I'm not married, and why I have no kids, although, I'm like a big kid, but I can hardly ground myself without letting myself go do something I'm not allowed to do because I'm such a sucker for myself."

"If you decide you DO love me, just tell me, you don't have to take the scenic route to get there," Randy told her, pushing her out the door.

"But what's the fun if you don't see the sites. I mean, can't I even go see the prehistoric forest if I tell you that I love you. You really can't miss that classic stop."

"Nope, straightforward."

"No fun!" Stephanie said, as Randy closed the door on her. "You'll regret that buddy, regret!"

"No, I won't," Randy called back.

Stephanie laughed and walked to her office for the evening. She had yet to run into her parents so tonight had already been going well, and then Randy had told her that he loved her. That was pretty big, that was really, really big. That was Mt. Everest big, and she didn't know if she could get a sherpa for this kind of exploration.

She pushed open the door to her office and went inside, sitting behind her desk. The leather felt cool against the part of her back that was exposed. She sighed and leaned back and suddenly, without warning, she found that she was crying. They were decidedly happy tears, but they were mixed in with a few sad ones as well. Her tears weren't discriminatory, they socialized with each other.

The last time a man had told her they loved her, it was Hunter. Chris didn't count, because he loved her as a best friend, and he told her he loved her all the time. But Hunter had been the last man that she dated that had told her, he loved her, and that had turned out so badly. The sting of that relationship had left her permanently bruised. She wouldn't say scarred, because she didn't really care about it, but it still bruised her ego a little bit, that she had allowed herself to be duped like that.

It was this scene that Chris walked in on. He didn't announce his presence, as he never had, and never felt the wont to do. He had just come back from greeting his girlfriend hello, and what was the second thing he had to do? Why, go talk to Stephanie of course. Because he could barely go five minutes without talking to her. Such was the folly of having someone so close to you.

"Stephanie, why are you crying?" Chris asked, sitting on the desk. "Don't you even tell me something like the stopped making marshmallows or something. My poor heart couldn't take that."

"Randy…" Stephanie said, then sniffled loudly, starting a fresh round of tears.

"I'm going to need more than that, because I can come up with a hundred different scenarios, and for some reason, none of them are good. It's like my brain has turned off the optimism switch and turned on the pessimism switch. It's not really working for me."

"He said…oh God…he said…"

"What?"

"He said it…he said we had to talk, and you know what that means, and--" She didn't get to finish her sentence because in a flash, Chris was gone. Stephanie looked around for a moment. "Snooks, if you pulled the Invisible Man thing on me, now is not the time."

But Chris was halfway down the hallway and storming into Randy's locker room. Randy, thinking it was Stephanie, stood up, only to be speared to the ground by Chris. Randy barely had a moment's notice before a rain of punches landed on him. Randy tried to push Chris off, but he seemed to have super-strength at the moment.

"I told you not to hurt her! I told you!"

"What!" Randy screamed, trying to block Chris's fist.

"You hurt her, and you broke up with her, and she was crying, nobody makes her cry. NOBODY! I'm going to pound your face in so much that people are going to think that your face is a steak, and then some dog is going to come after you and try to eat your face because it'll look like a treat," Chris yelled, even when he was fighting, he still have a way with words.

Stephanie rushed into the room and was shocked to see the two of them fighting, or rather, Chris fighting and Randy trying in vain to defend himself. Stephanie gasped as Chris's punch his Randy in the mouth as she could hear Chris mutter something to Randy. She went over and tried to assess the situation.

"Snooks, would you stop! Stop!"

"No! This bastard hurt you, he must pay!"

"We're not in a freaking movie, this isn't the big scene where you get to punch out the guy for my honor. God, this is like a bad Three's Company episode. Damn the mix-up."

Stephanie attempted to grab Chris's arm and accidentally hit her boyfriend. She looked away quickly, hoping that Randy hadn't noticed and pulled Chris's arm back and away from Randy. Chris was panting from anger, and he stood up, wrapping a protective arm around Stephanie.

"Come on Stephers, let's go," he said. "We won't let Randy get in our way."

She shoved his arm off. "You idiot! Why did you hit him!"

"He broke up with you!"

"No, he didn't, God Snooks, how about you let me finish a sentence before you go running out of the room like you're late for the triathlon. I'd hate to see you attack the swimming and biking parts of it."

"He didn't break up with you."

"He told me he loved me, and I needed to process it before I told him I loved him, and I do love him, and you beat him up! Snooks, this is unforgivable!"

"Well, I didn't know."

"Well, how about you listen to me next time. Get a hearing aid if it'll help, if the sound of my voice is just too damn low. You don't go running around hitting people."

"I thought that it was like Hunter…"

"You need to STOP protecting me, I have Randy now, and Randy is here to protect me, and he does a damn good job of it too. He's like Kevin Costner in "The Bodyguard," except cuter, younger, and not suffering from a series of box-office flops."

"Look, I'm--"

"I don't care, you know, have you noticed that since Randy stood up for me with my parents, they've laid off of me. That's how good a boyfriend he is. Even though my parents hate me, they know that Randy is a good catch, and they don't bother me anymore, they don't bother me! Which is more than I can say for when I was hanging around you!"

The words were said and they couldn't be taken back. Stephanie had a temper, but the temper had always been directed towards her parents, or towards Shane. Never had serious, hurtful anger been directed towards Chris. He didn't know what to make of it, and felt like a fool standing there, looking as Stephanie wrapped her arm around Randy's waist and inspected the damage done on his face. He felt like a third-wheel for the first time since he and Stephanie had become friends.

"I'm sorry I intruded. I didn't think it would be so ill-received."

"Well it was. It was like if you tried to pawn off Coco Krispies as Coco Pebbles, it's just a cheap knock-off."

"Fine, I get it Stephers," Chris said, feeling the hurt creep into him. She hadn't even regretted what she said. She hadn't regretted it. His world was reeling.

"Well good, I'm glad, now why don't you get the hell away from my boyfriend before you end up knocking some of his teeth out."

"Ok," Chris said, shell-shocked by Stephanie's behavior. He was hurt, he was more than hurt…he was downright devastated. "I should've sued you when you spilled that hot chocolate on me. I should've taken your money and then bought a boat with it, and then I could've fished a fish out of the water and kept it out in the sun and then sent it to you, so you would smell."

"Well, I would've put a dead horse-head in your bed with you!" Stephanie yelled back.

"You really hurt me Stephers," Chris said quietly. "And this time, I'm not joking."

Chris turned around and walked sullenly out of the room. Stephanie held her chin high and didn't react to what Chris was doing, or the things that had been said. Randy looked at her though and he caught the beginning of a tear that she quickly blinked back. She turned to him with a forced smile.

"I do love you Randy."

"Why did you do that Steph?" Randy asked, rubbing his aching jaw.

"If you saw your face right now, you'd do it too."

"He didn't know."

"Forget him…just forget him."

But as Stephanie turned away, seemingly looking for a first-aid kit, Randy saw that beginning of a tear reach its breaking point and slither its way down her face. She grabbed something before wiping away her tear and turning to him, the terse smile one he had only seen at the behest of her parents.

She wasn't going to forget.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: This chapter is based around the song, "Across the Universe," the Fiona Apple version.

**To read the original version with song lyrics go to: bitter-solemnity. com /fics /ALHT.php (just get rid of the spaces).

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**

Chris had never been more hurt in his entire life. The words that Stephanie had said to him, they were words that she had never directed at him. He hated leaving like that, but he suddenly couldn't stay there anymore; he didn't want to see his replacement. So this was what it was like to be replaced. It was a strange feeling, one that left him feeling hollow like a chocolate Easter Bunny.

It was almost like he was floating, but not in a good way. It was like his soul was ripped into two and he knew that part of his soul, if there really was such a thing, and if it was a thing he could have given away, he knew that part of his soul was with Stephanie, and it cut him even deeper to feel like he had lost her.

Who was he going to talk to now? Who was going to be the one that got all his silly references? Who would he joke around with and have conversations with that were at a speed of a hundred words per minute? Who was he going to have to fight with to get the last word? For so long it had been Chris and Stephanie, Stephanie and Chris, and suddenly, now it was Randy and Stephanie, Stephanie and Randy. The change had been so sudden and unexpected that he was left with this feeling of whiplash.

He found his locker room and sullenly walked inside. He sat down on the couch, and saw his luggage from his trip. Stephanie had taken the car and he had said he would get a ride with Trish. And there sat his luggage that he had taken when they were away, not hours before. He leaned back against the couch and looked up the ceiling.

Trish bounded into the room happily, "Hey there Chris, did you want to put your stuff into my car to save you the time later."

"Trish, do you have anything planned for the show tonight?"

"Nope, you?"

"No, I don't have anything planned, you wanna get out of here?" Chris asked, desperately wanting to leave the arena.

"Won't Vince be mad? Oh wait, Steph can handle that right?"

"Sure," he told her, trying to sound positive. He didn't want Trish to know that anything was bothering him, and he'd rather just leave now before he had to run into Randy and Stephanie in the hallways.

"Ok, then let's go. You gonna take me out to dinner?"

"Are you gonna pay?" he teased, feeling a little better now that she was here.

"No, you owe me, I let you leave me," Trish said, pulling him up. "Come on, we'll just have a night to ourselves for a change and you can tell me amusing stories about whatever snack food you want!"

"Even Ho-Hos?"

"Even the little powdered donuts," she said, raising a suggestive eyebrow.

"I'll be glad to get out of here," Chris muttered to himself as he went to grab his things. The sooner he was away from Stephanie, the better he would feel. If she didn't want him around, then he could turn it around and play the same game to her.

Stephanie sat idly at her desk. She was supposed to be looking over a contract for her father, proofreading it really before the lawyers took a look at it. But she was just tapping her pen on the desk. Her father could wait anyways, it wasn't like he ever did anything nice for her. He didn't even care about what she thought. This was just menial task work, something one of her father's lackeys could do on his lunch break. But since her father hated her and didn't think her opinion matter, she was stuck doing this.

She was thinking about Chris and the things that she had said to him. She didn't even know who said those harsh words to his face. She had never said anything like that. It was like this was the Invasion of the Body Snatchers and she had been momentarily transported out of her body and some evil being had inhabited it. Or maybe it had been her evil twin and she was up to her mind games, because she always believed that her evil twin would be just like the rest of her family.

She felt bad for even joking in her brain. She had treated Chris so poorly and she couldn't take back what she had said because she wasn't that type of person and Chris knew it. Chris knew that she always meant what she said. And she had called him a bad friend…among other things. She rested her head in her hands when she thought about what she had said to him. She had said that he never did anything to get her parents off her back!

The hurt look on his face after that, and after it was all said and done, it was a face that she would never forget. She had put that face on him, she had cloaked him in this immense hurt and everything, and she couldn't take it back. The words were floating out there like when you threw bread on the water for ducks, and it floated, and then the ducks would fight over it. Even though she wasn't fighting over the bread, it was like she and Chris were fighting. They were fighting…or she had ended their relationship. Had she really ended their relationship? Had she ruined the one thing in the world that she could count on?

"Stephanie, I was wondering if you wanted to go out and grab a bite to eat after the show?" Randy said, walking into her office. She was staring off into space and he closed his eyes. He still didn't get why she had gone off on Chris like that.

"I can go now," she answered dully.

"But work?"

"It's ok. My dad only has me doing grunt work. It's nothing special and he doesn't even want me here. Neither does my mother. They called me the other day to give me the lecture about how I'm one year older and yet I'm nowhere near as mature as I should be. Every damn year since I turned twenty she's been telling me I need to grow up. It wouldn't be a birthday without a patented Linda lecture."

"You want a Randy lecture?"

She looked up at him and knew what he would lecture her about. She didn't need to feel worse than she did. "Unless it's about how Corn Pops and Raisin Bran don't go together, then no, I don't really want to hear your lecture."

"Come on, let's go have dinner," he said, grabbing her hand.

"I guess I should eat."

Chris picked at his food, stabbing the same piece of steak until there were puncture holes all over it. Trish had been eating her chicken, occasionally trying to make conversation with Chris, but he was either thinking about something, or he found the fish tank in the corner of the room way more fascinating than she was comfortable with. She figured it was something to do with someone, rather than something.

"Did you know that fish need to be underwater for their gills to open up and that's why when they're out of water they die? Because their gills can't open," he said, turning to look at her.

"I didn't know that," Trish said, giving him a strange look because that was rather random.

"Stephanie would've said something like, 'doesn't matter to me because I'd still eat them,' or something equally as strange," he told her. "Maybe she'd comment on how they're pretty colors, or how water is fun. Something random. She's very random."

"Chris, sweetie, did you want to invite Stephanie to dinner?"

"We had a fight, we're over, through, done with, finito, no more, the great era is over," he said, going back to stabbing his steak with his fork.

"Oh, this is a joke, this is one of your jokes that you two have, but you're really thinking about what you're going to get her to go so you guys can go pig out after we get back to the hotel," she said, laughing. "I can smell a ruse Chris."

"I'm not joking. She…I don't even know how to put it. Broke up with me? We're done."

"She broke your friendship?"

"Yeah, she said that Randy was more important to her now and I should just stay out of her business. And Randy has gotten her parents off her back which I've never been able to do," he said, his voice cracking as he stabbed his steak rather violently.

"Chris, I'm sure this will blow over. You two can't stay mad at each other. You are two of the best friends I've ever seen. You guys…like you told me, you complete each other. Not romantically, thanks for that, but I don't know, on some cosmic level, you two are soulmates."

"No, I should've taken her to court when she scaled me with that hot chocolate. I should've accepted her apology and then told her that was it. This is my fault, I let her into my life."

"She would've found a way in somehow. Look at the two of you…you have the same thoughts."

"No, we're different, we've always been different."

"Chris, I bet that right now, she's feeling the exact same way that you are."

Stephanie pushed her mashed potatoes around her plate, not actually eating any, but simply pushing it around and around. She stared at the drink menu they kept on the table, wondering how much alcohol she would have to consume in order to forget Chris entirely. Right now she was calculating that it would take twice the alcohol ever produced in the entire history of the human race. And that was rounding down.

"Are you making a potato volcano?" Randy asked her.

"No, usually I make a potato village," she told him. "And then when I drown them in gravy, I pretend it's like Pompeii and all the villagers are going to get caught in the lava. Why have a volcano that doesn't do anything when you can have a volcano and a town that causes mass destruction?"

"Well at least you haven't lost your sense of humor," Randy said, reaching across the table to squeeze her hand.

"No, this is my reserve humor. I keep it in a little tank in my purse. When I'm feeling low I turn it on and it gets me through. This is by no means my best work."

"Well, your reserve humor is very good."

"Yeah, it should, cost me a pretty penny it did. But it comes in handy."

"Your heart is broken," he said matter-of-factly. There was no jealousy or anything in his tone, he was just stating what she knew to be true. She nodded almost imperceptibly, hanging her head down.

"I just ended a four plus year relationship. My heart, she is broken," Stephanie said, the saddest smile Randy had ever seen coming over her face. It was as if this dark cloud suddenly passed over her and shrouded her features. She just looked so sad and so lost and completely helpless.

"Do you want to go back to the hotel?"

"Yeah, I do," she answered, then going back to pushing the mashed potatoes around her plate. Randy called for the check and paid it quickly, standing up and giving Stephanie a hand to stand up. He put his hand at the base of her back and started to lead her away, only to look back at the last moment to make sure that they had gotten everything from the table.

Stephanie had spelled out "Chris" in her mashed potatoes.

Stephanie had decided to bunk alone tonight, promising Randy that she wouldn't get drunk or anything. She didn't plan on it because she would need copious amounts of alcohol to numb this pain inside her stomach. She went into the bathroom and ran a hand over her face, trying to erase that hurt look in her eyes, but it was still there. She washed her face and pulled her hair back into a messy ponytail.

Climbing into bed was comforting, knowing that she could go to sleep soon. She propped up the pillows and turned on the television, hoping to catch something decent. There was never anything on these damn hotel channels and she would give anything to be at home with her multitudes of DVD's and a big bowl of ice cream. Although, it wasn't that late and so she grabbed the phone, called room service and asked them to bring up three ice cream sundaes with the works, a slice of apple pie, a small lemon bundt cake, and brownies. She needed some food to wallow in.

After the food came she situated herself in bed and bought one of the movies off the television. She wasn't really paying attention to it, but she was thinking about Chris and how much she missed him. They should be together right now and laughing and gorging themselves on all these sweets and making fun of this stupid movie with its stupid, pointless plot. But she had severed all those ties.

It hit her then that she WAS alone because she wasn't a person who traveled in groups. Sure, she had Randy, but she couldn't connect with Randy on some things. Chris, she could connect on everything with, and now he was gone and she wanted to cry and shout and rant, but she…she usually did that with Chris. She needed her best friend.

Before thinking about what she was doing, she grabbed her cell phone and dialed his cell phone. She waited for a moment and then, "If you know why the chicken crossed the road, don't tell me! I'm still trying to figure it out! Leave a message…but not about the chicken!"

She contemplated on leaving a message, but by the time she had decided, the words were already tumbling out of her mouth. "I'm sitting here, and I've got mountains of ice cream and brownies and pie and cake, and I'm surprised that I don't have one of those sugar sculptures like on the Food Network. I'm mourning the loss of someone important to me, and…I needed my best friend, only my best friend…I don't know, I just know that I'm alone with tons of sweets and I need to vent and talk and pig out and I have no one to do it with. They always say that you shouldn't drink alone, and I'm not drinking, but I'm eating alone, and that's got to be on par, or maybe not as worse, but it's got to be bad when I'm sitting here stuffing my face, and I'm just…I'm doing horribly and I couldn't even eat tonight, and you know that I love food, and I just…I need my best friend, and I suddenly don't have a best friend anymore and I have nobody to turn to. Randy doesn't understand, and my family certainly doesn't understand, and there's nobody that understands but you, but you hate me, you must hate me, and I'm going now, I'm sorry you had to hear me ramble. It won't happen again. Bye."

Stephanie hung up and then cringed. Yeah, she didn't come off as desperate at all. She fell back against the pillows and grabbed another brownie off the plate next to her. She grabbed the huge pitcher of milk on the nightstand and poured herself another glass. Nothing like a brownie with a milk chaser to clear up the blues.

"Play it again Sam," she called out to the empty room. She was mid-chew when there came a knock on the door.

Expecting Randy to come visit her despite her wanting to be alone, she padded to the door in her Grumpy slippers (they weren't the slippers that she wore when she was grumpy, they were actually Grumpy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs). She stuffed another piece of brownie into her mouth as she opened the door and saw that it wasn't Randy there, but the man she had just called.

He knew how much she wanted him.

"I heard someone needed a best friend and had lost theirs."

"Mmhmm," she mumbled around her brownie.

"I thought I could be a replacement best friend. If you wanted me to be. It's kind of like when you haven't done your laundry and you only have the bad underwear left that's too tight or too big, but you're forced to wear it. So since you've lost the good pairs of underwear, I guess I can be the too tight pair, a substitute if you will."

"I have brownies."

"I can tell by the crumbs on your face."

"I have ice cream."

"I can tell by the crumbs on your face."

"I got three sundaes."

"That's a lot of ice cream," Chris said.

"I know, I can share…" she said hopefully.

"Well, I've never been known to turn down a good bowl of ice cream. Unless it was Pistachio ice cream because that is just bad ice cream. Stack it up against your Cookie Dough's and your Cookies and Cream's, it's just not in the same league. I hope it's not Pistachio."

"No, Vanilla with caramel on top."

"A girl after my own heart," he smiled.

Stephanie couldn't stand it anymore and threw herself at Chris, hugging him so tightly her body practically melded with his. Chris just smiled and leaned in to her hug and wrapped his arms around her and didn't let go, resting his chin against her shoulder and letting her hug him as long as she wanted.

"I'm stupid."

"And smart."

"And crazy."

"And funny."

"I'm trying to apologize."

"Oh, I thought we were listing all of your qualities," Chris said. "But if that's your apology, I'm fine with it."

"You were just trying to be a good friend, and like the stupid jerk that I am, I tried to push you away, but you're the best. You understand me. I love you…as a friend of course. Don't think I'm declaring my love for you romantically."

"What! I was expecting you to have fallen in love with me! Well this ruins my entire night, I'm leaving," he said, pretending to leave.

"Get your ass back in here, I have apple pie."

"Ok, I'll stay…but just for the pie."


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Sorry for the delay. Thanks for all the reviews everyone, I hope you enjoy the chapter, and the story, and leave a review, they always help. :)

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"Did you miss me?"

"No."

"Come on, did you miss me?"

"I'm saying no."

"You missed me," Stephanie said, making a face at Chris as he sat eating his ice cream. She was just so happy to have him back here. She couldn't even go a few hours without him, she couldn't imagine going longer. A couple of days without Chris might just make her go into a catatonic state.

"And if I did miss you? Do I get a medal or something, a commemorative quarter marking the event? Because I want it to look like the Wisconsin state quarter, with the cheese, you know, because I like cheese."

"No, all you'll get is a certificate, I'm sorry, but you can always hang a certificate in your home, it'll make you look more prestigious."

"Do I need to look more prestigious than I already do?"

"Well, you can pretend it's a doctorate, and then you can pretend to be really smart. But you're going to need a pair of glasses for that," Stephanie said, tapping her chin. "No, mine wouldn't look good on you."

"So how much did YOU miss ME?" Chris asked. "Were you crying? Did you cry so hard that you formed a river?"

"No, I didn't cry, but I did whimper like a dog. I had to build a dog door for myself just because I was so believable. I only realized it was myself after I had already put the door in."

"Tragic."

"I did come to a conclusion though," Stephanie said, looking down thoughtfully. "And I'm going to need your advice, true advice not fake advice. I need you to be Lucy from the Peanuts gang, the doctor NEEDS to be in for the five cent psychiatric help."

"I will try my damnedest."

"I'm going to break up with Randy," Stephanie and she looked to Chris who looked nothing short of shocked. She knew she was going to get that reaction, and not just because she knew Chris very well; the fact of the matter was it WAS coming straight out of the blue. She had only just decided a short while ago.

"Isn't this the same guy that you love?" Chris asked. "Or am I mistaking him for someone else? Randy Quaid maybe? Randy Johnson? Are you going to break up with the pitcher because he went to the Yankess?"

"No, Randy the dreamboat," Stephanie clarified. "Although I have no love lost for those other two Randys you mentioned."

"And why are you doing this? I hope not for me, because I'm not going to sleep with you over this no matter how hard you try to get me into bed."

"You're already in my bed," she pointed out, gesturing towards the bed they were currently sitting on.

"Oh," Chris frowned, "Well then, I guess that you can have your way with me, but you have to be gentle because I'm a fragile man, and I can't take the roughness that I heard you're into. I'm not one for safety words Stephers."

"I would never be rough with you Snooks, you are far too precious a commodity."

"So let's get down to the bottom of the mystery before Scooby and the gang beat us to it. Why are you going to break up with the dreamboat?"

"Because I don't think that he's my dreamboat," Stephanie answered, and tried to be as clear as possible as she continued. "I think I just like him because he's so different from what I'm used to, and I feel kind of trapped."

"The jitters, they get you every time," Chris said, shaking his head. "I need to prescribe you some medicine for that, it'll clear right up if you let it."

"I'm breaking up with him. And not in some cutesy, false way that will only see us getting back together in some scene in the rain where we're running and we meet in a kiss, I'm breaking up with him for real."

"I think you're making a huge mistake Stephers, I thought you loved the guy."

"But I just don't feel it," Stephanie sighed. "Snooks, I don't know what to do. It's like, I really do like him, but I just…don't. We're so different, and I think that's going to kick us in the ass. Or maybe punch us in the face. Maybe we'll get into a catfight and pull each other's hair. All I know is I think I have to end it."

"You defended him over me," Chris pointed out.

Stephanie winced. She knew that she could never ever do that again, whether it be with Randy or any other person in the world. Chris came first with her, and he always would come first with her because she came first with him. They had a deep understanding with each other, and a bond that was too strong to ever be broken. Even if there were other people, they always knew it would be Chris and Stephanie, and Stephanie and Chris. That's how they came, as a package.

"I was stupid to do that. I'd like to plead temporary insanity, but I don't think that it would hold up in a court of law. Unless you have really bad attorneys, in which case, I'm sure you'd have a rock solid case for me."

"Well, if that's what you want to do, then go for it, I'm not going to be the one to stop you. I think that would involve bombs and stuff like that, and I'm not really up to cuff on my bomb techniques."

"That's too bad, I took a class," Stephanie shrugged. "I would just end up hurting him in the end."

"You don't give yourself enough credit. Unless you have a penchant for kicking during sex, or biting or something otherwise mean, but you know, I can take one for the team and see for myself if you're too rough."

"Well, I'd simply love to put on a demonstration for you, but I'm all tuckered out, and well, I'm just not my best when I don't feel like I'm beautiful."

"You're always dutiful," Chris said, then Stephanie hit him in the arm. "Wait, what, you DIDN'T say dutiful? Oh you said beautiful, well, no, you're not always that."

"Oh, great, thanks Snooks, you sure do know how to keep a girl's self-esteem at its highest point. Have you thought about going on the motivational speaking circuit? You know, speaking at hotels and conference centers, maybe selling tapes through infomercials."

"I'm not your boyfriend, I have no obligation whatsoever to find you beautiful all the time, so no, I'm not going to keep your self-esteem high," Chris said, licking the chocolate off his spoon with a flourish.

"And yet you want a demonstration of how I am in bed?"

"For educational purposes only," Chris said as seriously as he could.

"I'll give you educational purposes," Stephanie said, pushing him a little.

"Assault! Assault!" Chris yelled, jumping off the bed. Stephanie jumped off as well as she chased him around the room. She finally caught up with him and jumped on his back. Chris fell to the floor, taking Stephanie with him as they fell into a heap. Chris turned on his back, making Stephanie have to straddle him.

He looked up at her and smiled. She was only inches from him, her breath coming out in short pants from running around the hotel room. Her breath was blowing in his face and it was sweet smelling from all the sweets they had consumed. She smiled down at him, her eyes shining from the television, changing from blue to gray with every passing moment. He leaned his hand up and brushed her hair against her back. She let her weight fall on him until they were almost pressed together like a sandwich.

"If we were in a movie," she whispered, "this is just about the moment where we would kiss and find out that we're in love with each other, and we're crazy for being with other people when we so obviously have feelings for each other."

"So what are you waiting for, let's get with the kissing and revelations," Chris said, raising his eyebrows.

"Hmm," Stephanie said, pretending to think out loud. "But would it really be prudent?"

"No, of course not, that's why you have the revelation to be in the frame of mind where you justify the fact that you just cheated on your significant others."

"I don't condone cheating," Stephanie told him. "I'm a strict woman Snooks, I don't want to cheat or be cheated on. Do you know how much karma would kick your ass for that? Karma is not something I want to mess with."

"So do you think you might want to get the hell off of me before your chest caves in my chest with the weight?"

"Well just for that, I think that I'll stay right here for a while."

"Oh great, collapsed lung, here I come."

Stephanie got off of him and held out her hand. He grabbed it and she used all of her strength to help pull him up. They dusted themselves off from the grime on the floor and went to clean up the bedroom since it was getting late and they were tired. There was an unspoken agreement that they would stay here together. Not like that, but just sleep together. Chris guessed that Stephanie just needed him near her.

"I'm going to go break it off with him right now," Stephanie said. "I don't want to put it off."

"So like you," Chris said, "Stephers, are you sure about this?"

"When I said I loved him, I don't know Snooks, it felt wrong, and I don't want to see if it'll be right because I felt that it wouldn't, does that make sense?"

"Does anything you say make sense?"

"No, but I was hoping to make a little bit more sense than usual. Unless you think I shouldn't do it, in which case, I'll take your word for it, if that's what you want me to do. I mean, tell me Snooks, I need your guidance, you are my life guru and you should be making all my decisions for me, like that Friends episode, where Monica took over all of Rachel's decisions. I think that's how it went, I forget."

"I think that you should do what you think is right, and if you think that breaking it off with the dreamboat is right, than I'm not going to stop you Stephers."

"But the first time I said I loved him, and the only time really was when you were beating him up Snooks," Stephanie pointed out.

"Whoa, you said you loved him as an argument to why I shouldn't beat him up?" Chris said, making a face, "Well yeah, I can see how you would say it and not really mean it. See Stephers, this is information that you really should tell me before you start babbling about how you want to break up with him."

"What difference would it have made?"

"I would've given me a better read of the situation. I was a quarterback going out there with no play, just an order to throw the ball. You didn't give me any plays to go out there with. NO PLAY! I could've gotten sacked!"

"Nah, because I would make sure the o-line (offensive line) would take care of you."

"Do you want me to walk you to the dreamboat's room?"

"No thanks, I can move my feet."

"That joke would go over most people's heads."

"I know, that's what makes it funny," Stephanie said obviously. "Wish me luck."

"May the force be with you."

Stephanie stuck her tongue out and went to grab a coat so she didn't look completely stupid in her pajamas. She left the room and walked down the hallway to where the elevators were. Randy was two floors up, and she rode the lonely elevator up those two floors to his floor. She got off the elevator and walked down to his room, and she was just about there when the room next to his opened and someone walked out.

"I guess this is God's way of punishing me," Stephanie said out loud to herself.

"Stephanie," Hunter said briefly.

"Asshole," Stephanie greeted back in the same tone. "Oh, I'm sorry, I meant Hunter. See, words get away from me sometimes, and then I have to go chasing after them before they get so far away from me that they're just blips on a radar and not even the best honing device can grab them."

"Still weird I see."

"Weird? Is that the word for it? Man, if I had just known that I was weird, maybe I could've kept you interested. Oh wait, no, it was because I wasn't a slut wasn't it? I'd like to say that I was working on that, but I haven't got the time to practice."

"Did you ever figure it was because I thought you were annoying that I dumped you?"

"No, because you were just using me anyways, and using and annoying are not really synonymous with each other, but then what do I know, I'm weird after all. I mean, what a dull description. At least call me eccentric so I have something to work with."

"Did you come up to see me Stephy baby?" Hunter asked, leering at her.

"Is that what you think?"

"I see you here, so yeah, it's what I think."

"I'd rather live in a water tower," she answered. "Or if you prefer, I would rather get mauled by a lion. You can choose either one. The mauled is more horrific, but if you think of the psychological aspects of living alone in an isolated water tower, that's where you have the real terror."

"Oh come on Stephy, if you want it, then we can go for one more round."

"Do I get boxing gloves? That's the only way that I'm going to do this. Ok, and maybe for some of those shiny boxer shorts that they wear. Preferably in blue if you have them."

"God the thought of marrying you sickens me," Hunter said shuddering.

"No way! Because the same thought crept into my head at the exact same moment. It's a good thing that we didn't have a Freaky Friday moment and switched bodies, I would never be able to live in your body, although, in certain places, it would be pretty much the same," Stephanie said, raising her hand and putting her thumb very close to her index finger. "I speak from experience, though I had to get thoroughly cleansed after we broke up, didn't want the germs to linger."

"Bitch," Hunter muttered. "You're going to end up alone you know that right? There is not one guy in this entire world who is going to put up with you. You were LUCKY to have me."

"I call opposite day!" Stephanie said excitedly. "That means I was UNLUCKY to have you. See how that works, its opposite."

"Alone Stephanie, alone."

"You forget something Hunter," Stephanie said, her voice gaining the edge it got when she was addressing her family.

"What's that? That you're weird and stupid, and nobody likes you."

"Nope, Chris always has my back, and you always have to watch out."

"Yeah, and how long is that going to last with Trish in the picture. Face it Stephanie, you're going to get phased out, and then nobody will put up with you," Hunter said with a laugh.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Stephanie said. "Because you know less than a napkin, because at least a napkin has enough sense to know that Chris is my best friend, and he loves me, and he always will."

"Alone Stephanie, all alone."


	17. Chapter 17

Stephanie walked absently back into her hotel room with a frown on her face. It wasn't a normal occurrence for her to take Hunter's words to heart, in fact she had never taken Hunter's words to heart because usually his words were filled with self-love and hatred for anyone that he didn't like, which was…everyone. But his words had rung in Stephanie's brain and she found herself unable to knock on Randy's door and instead was walking aimlessly back to her own hotel room.

She wandered inside and straight to bed, flopping on her back, staring up at Chris who was just polishing off a really large cookie. He smiled at her, and she closed her eyes, trying to picture him with Trish and not with her, never with her. But hadn't he said that if Trish made him choose between her and Trish, he would choose her.

"So are you a single woman just waiting to be snapped up by another handsome gentleman?" Chris asked

"No, I'm still attached, much to the chagrin of the National Football League, National Basketball League, National Hockey League, and Major League Baseball," Stephanie said. "I know they were all wanting to get a crack at me, but unfortunately, I'm still taken, occupied, territorialized, and whatever else you want to call it."

"What happened?"

"Asshole."

"Oh great, what did he do now? Wait, don't tell me…he ran naked through the lobby proclaiming himself the King of the Universe? No, that's too easy for him. He climbed to the top of the hotel and jumped off without a parachute just to prove that gravity does not succumb to him?"

"Say I asked you to dump the blonde bombshell, what would you do?"

"I would dump the bombshell because I would assume that you had a good reason for wanting me to dump the bombshell. I trust the very essence of your being Stephers, and I trust any judgment you make on behalf of my life. You're like my shining star in the night sky, burning brightly just for me."

"That's nice."

"Ok, something is obviously wrong and since I know that I regale you with laughter and good cheer and you JUST said that you saw Asshole, I'm guessing he's the problem, hey, that's exactly what it is, Asshole is THE problem. If only there was an exterminator for him. Maybe that one from Men in Black, the alien one, he seemed pretty effective, I wonder what he charges."

"He told me I'd end up alone," Stephanie answered. "Like that last lonely donut in the box that nobody wants because they get smothered with chocolate and sprinkles from the other donuts until you can't even figure out what it is, or I'm like that little fish you see frozen in a lake during the winter time, wait, do fish get frozen?"

"I don't think so, but I got the sentiment, you were painting a very sad picture."

"Good, that's exactly what I was going for, I wanted you to share in my abject sadness."

"I am, I think I might even have to get some tissue because I think I'm going to start crying at any given moment. Stephers, hand me some Kleenex," Chris said, pretending to sniffle dramatically.

"I won't end up alone will I Snooks?"

"Of course you will. Unless you plan to be buried in one of those huge coffins where they just add people and add people, or you get a family plot, then you'd be stuck with your family, but if you're just going to be in one plot, then yeah, ultimately, you're going to end up alone."

"I thought we'd be buried together, maybe have a secret tunnel system between us, that way we can talk when we're dead."

"Are you kidding me?" Chris asked. "We are going to have the sweetest pad up in heaven. All the cool dead people are going to want to hang with us. I didn't want to mention it because it's not set in stone or anything, but I've pretty much locked up Elvis to perform at our 'Welcome to Heaven' party."

"Sweet," Stephanie said. "Finally I get to mingle with the best of the best. I hope that Benedict Arnold doesn't come, I don't need a snitch at my party…but how are you planning on us going up to the big guy in the sky together."

"I inserted a ticking time bomb into your skull, same with me, I won't tell you when it's set to go off though, that's going to be a surprise. But trust me, it'll be worth it when we're kicking to the tunes of Elvis, and having that dude from Benson serving the drinks."

"I don't think he's dead yet," Stephanie pointed out.

"Well, the time bomb isn't set to go off…wait, you almost got me to tell you when it's going off Stephers, that's not cool," Chris said, shaking his finger at her. "As for on Earth, no, I don't think you'll end up alone. You have me don't you?"

"Do I?"

"Do you what?"

"No, do I have you?"

"I'm sitting here aren't I?"

"For how long?"

"Well, I might have to make a bathroom break in like ten minutes, but the next ten minutes, I won't even move an inch Stephers, I call Statues!" Chris exclaimed freezing in place like a statue. Stephanie waved her hand in front of Chris's face, but he didn't even move a muscle.

"Well since you're playing Statues, you can just listen, Snooks. Hunter said that I would end up alone because you were with the blonde bombshell, and you would eventually, I don't know, settle down with her or some such gibberish, when Hunter gets angry, he tends to start mumbling, it's very annoying, he might want to consult a speech therapist, I heard they could do wonders. Well, the point at hand, he said that you would leave me and I would end up alone, that's it, that's all she wrote. And why I'm letting him get to me is a mystery, kind of like how the universe began, of course, I think that problem is a little harder to solve, but on the other hand, Hunter is a hard problem to solve, maybe Hunter had something do with the creation of the universe, no I can't give him that much credit, though I'm sure he already thinks that, do you get what I'm saying Snooks?"

"Statues over!" Chris said, jumping off the bed. "I'm playing a new game, it's called 'Kick Asshole's ass until he bleeds and then make him bleed some more and then humiliate him by running his underwear up a flagpole,' I think it'll be the best game ever!"

"So you're going to beat him up then, you're going to go there and beat him up like a Neanderthal, hey maybe Hunter is an unfrozen Neanderthal. You know, that makes a lot of sense now that I think about it."

"Actually, it does to me too, and it probably only occurs to us," Chris told her. "Oh well, if he doesn't have his club, he's nothing. Although I do have long hair, do you think he'd mistake me for a woman and drag me off by the hair?"

"No, I think you're safe, and I think that you're also NOT going to beat him up."

"Are you saying I'm bluffing, are you saying that I'm making up a word and you need to challenge me and then go look it up in the dictionary to prove me wrong and make me take off my tiles from the board even though I swear I thought it was a word? Is that what you're doing here?"

"Not in so many words."

"When are you ever at a loss for words?"

"I was earlier when I was walking back from talking with Hunter, but that might have had something do with the fact that I was walking by myself and although I can answer myself, it's kind of hard to have a complex conversation with myself."

"Too dumb?"

"Perhaps, or maybe it had a lot to do with one half of my brain really wanting to make Jell-O. Lemon and lime of course."

"Of course, ok, I won't be him up, but only because I'm high on a sugar rush and I also don't feel like ruining my clothes with blood because then I'd have to buy that OxyClean stuff and I don't even know if that stuff works, I mean, the guy makes it sound great, but how do I know unless I get a big tub of water and do the demonstration myself. Where do I have to go to be on an informercial!"

"That's what I'm getting you for your birthday Snooks, I'm going to take you to the taping of an informercial."

"Preferably food Stephers, I want to try the food they make because when I got my Ronco Rotisserie, it could've been better, I didn't really care for the steaming mechanism."

"That's only cause you kept burning yourself Snooks. I had to treat you like a four year old, telling you not to touch it. It's like the Cornballer, you can't touch it or you'll burn yourself."

"Ah, I always love a good Arrested Development joke, those are truly the best around."

So back to the situation at hand," Stephanie said.

"Of course, Jell-O does sound good, thanks for asking."

"About Hunter."

"Oh, are we still on that, I thought the whole OxyClean discussion kind of wiped away the discussion of Hunter, did you get that? Because OxyClean is supposed to wipe away stains and Hunter is a stain so the OxyClean wiped him away!" Chris said, slapping his knee as he laughed.

"That was not funny," Stephanie said. "You over-exerted yourself. You don't explain the joke, that makes it not funny."

"Unless I'm really funny in the explanation for the joke."

"You weren't that either."

"Well then," Chris said, acting like he was indignant. "I know that maybe I should take my business elsewhere if I'm going to be treated so poorly. And to think that I thought you had manners Stephers."

"When did you ever think that?"

"For a second back in 2000, I figured that all the apologizing mean that you were sorry."

"So I won't end up alone?"

"For the last time, no, you won't end up alone. I hate going into mushy girl territory here, but this is the caveat of having a girl best friend, sometimes I get stuck playing the Whoopi Goldberg to your Angela Bassett."

"Did you just make a, 'How Stella Got her Groove Back,' joke?" Stephanie asked with wonderment.

"Yes I did," Chris nodded firmly.

Stephanie stood up and clapped, "I didn't know you had it in you Snooks, I thought I had seen the broadness of your repertoire, I thought I knew how obscure a joke you could go, I thought I knew, but this moment, this moment makes me so very proud because I did not know that you even had the name of that movie in your vast lexicon, but you did, oh how you did and my only wish was that there were more people to see this occasion to hear you say this and realize that you, my best friend, are truly a man among boys, a legend among mortals, a piece of triple chocolate cake among Twinkies, bravo Snooks, bravo."

"Wow, this is so unexpected. I didn't think that I would get this kind of recognition, I thought maybe, I hoped, I went into it with cautious optimism, but never in my wildest dreams. You think I'm the King of the World, you really, really do!"

"I do!"

"Oh and before we get off on a tangent," Chris said, which was funny because they didn't even consider this a tangent. And if they didn't consider that a tangent, then they were really out there most of the time because they had been talking about something completely different for a few minutes, not even realizing that this was one of the most serious discussions they could ever have, as it concerned the very fabric of their friendship. "You're not going to end up alone because you're a great chick Stephers. Any man would be lucky, and I mean lottery winning lucky to have you, except me, because I know what you look like first thing in the morning."

"Thank you, that's the fifteenth nicest thing you've ever said to me, it just knocked the time you said that my teeth are as straight as the Washington Monument down to number sixteen. The time that you told me my shoes matched my purse was completely bumped off the list, I can't say that I'm going to miss it."

"They did match really well though."

"I know, it was amazing considering I didn't even plan that because I'm not even sure what color my shoes are on a daily basis. I think that I wore pink shoes today, but I can't be sure, if I stare at my feet, I'm liable to fall down and then what would happen, I'd hurt my head."

"And it's a pretty head."

"Oh no, there goes the time that you told me that I had really good posture when carrying a heavy backpack on my back."

"It was good, I was surprised, you walked perfectly, like you were trained to carry a backpack. Are you sure you weren't a sherpa in your previous life?"

"I'm sure because even if I were, there's no way that I would ever want to climb Mount Everest. People have died trying to climb that thing, and I'm not in the mood for my party yet."

"Yeah, it would ruin my time bomb plan."

"Oh yeah, and if you went through all that trouble, I wouldn't want to spoil the fun."

"Thank you, I'll have you know that it took me a long time to get you drunk enough to do that to you. And it took a lot of restraint not to jump you, my hormones were a-blazin, let me tell you."

"I would've lost what little respect I had for you, had you done that."

"Good thing I didn't then, so are you going to march your butt upstairs, knock on the Dreamboat's door and break up with him, or are you going to be a coward and sit here with me and do nothing because I'm lazy and it's late and I don't feel like moving, your choice, and for the love of Mike, make the right one."

"Ok, I will go break up with him, but only cause you told me to."

"I didn't tell you to, I gave you options, I told you that you could be lazy with me, but did you listen, no, of course not because you have selective amnesia of the ears, you only hear what you want."

"I'll go and prove to you that I can do."

"I didn't say you couldn't do it. See, now you're hearing things, I think a trip to the doctor is necessary, we can practice you have to hear the little dots with the headphones from the 70's, it'll be fun, you can raise a little flag for each ear."

"Ok, I'm going now," she said, walking around a little.

"Good luck on your dangerous mission, Godspeed my good woman, Godspeed."

"Ok, let's try this, Randy break-up, take two! And action!"


	18. Chapter 18

Stephanie walked back up to Randy's hotel room. This time she was hoping to avoid an ugly confrontation with Hunter. She knew that she shouldn't let him get to her, and for the most part, he was out of her life, but sometimes…well, sometimes he just got to her. She knew that Chris knew this without her telling him, but she wondered what he really thought about her relationship, former relationship rather, with Hunter.

But she didn't have time to think about that as she came upon Randy's door. She thought a moment about what she doing, but she knew it was right. When she had told him that she loved him, it didn't feel right. And if it didn't feel right now, it probably never would. In the long run, it was probably better to let him go earlier rather that later. She couldn't let this get too serious when she knew it probably wasn't going somewhere.

She knocked on the door, and jumped from foot to foot trying to pass the time between her knocking and him opening the door. She hated making people feel bad, and she knew that she was going to do that to Randy. The only positive thing to come out of her relationship with Hunter was the fact that she hadn't cared she was dumping him because he had turned out to be a royal asshole.

"Steph?"

Stephanie ceased her jumping and smiled softly. "Hey Randy, can we talk?"

"And that is never the way that you want to start a conversation," Randy said, opening the door to her. "Come on inside."

Stephanie looked grateful as she walked into the room, taking one glance back outside before entering fully. Stephanie sat down on the couch, curling one of her legs underneath her butt. Randy came down and sat right across from her, taking his hand in hers. She wanted to pull it away, but didn't have the heart to.

"You look really beautiful, you have a glow or something," Randy said softly, using his free hand to brush some of the hair out of her face.

"It's probably the light that I'm sitting behind. It's like that Seinfeld where Elaine goes to visit the priest and she had a beam of light behind her and it made her look like an angel or something," Stephanie babbled.

Randy laughed, "Yeah, I guess it might be the light. Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, Chris and I made up," she told him.

"Great," Randy said. "How did that happen?"

"Fortunately, Chris was able to sense my suffering from miles away, like a dog almost, you know like those St. Bernard's that save people in like the Alps and stuff. He sensed it and we made up because we just can't stay away from each other."

"Good, I was worried about you," Randy told her. "You definitely weren't being yourself and I was worried that you wouldn't be you without Chris."

"Well, no need to worry," Stephanie said. "I'm as good as new, no scratches or dents or anything, you can rent me out with no problems, not that you would want to rent me out or anything."

"I don't think I'd let anyone else get their hands on you," Randy said. "So what did you want to talk about?"

Stephanie chickened out. She was such a chicken. If Chris were here, he would be rolling his eyes at her. Stephanie was too nice sometimes. Sure, she had an edge that was seriously scary and she could hold her own in a fight, but she didn't like to do that most of the time. So she just smiled and squeezed his hand companionably.

"I just wanted to say…thanks for putting up with me tonight," Stephanie said with a smile. "I was definitely at my worst, and you had to see that, so it must have almost been traumatizing for you, and I was probably being a bad date, and that is never my intention because I don't want my stock as a good date to go down, so I wanted to come here and tell you that I was sorry."

"Don't worry about it, I totally understand," Randy said. "Besides, you weren't THAT bad a date."

"Now you're just being nice to spare my fragile ego," Stephanie joked.

"Stay the night," Randy said, gesturing towards the bedroom. "Then you can really show me how much you want to keep your reputation as a good date."

"Nah, I think I'm just going to spend the night with Chris…in the most platonic sense of course. It's not like I'm going to spend the night naked with him or anything. That would be really awkward actually, but yeah, I just feel so bad for what I said to him, and it wasn't fair of me and so I think I should just stay with him tonight."

That was a partial truth, but Randy certainly didn't need to hear that she just didn't want to spend the night with him at all. "Well, if that's the way you feel, but the offer is still on the table."

"Randy, are you trying to buy me off here or something? I'm not a whore that you can just pay off by leaving money on the nightstand and then bolting in the middle of the night once your lusty fantasies are fulfilled."

"Well damn, there goes my idea," Randy said, winking at her.

"Well, I better get back," Stephanie said, starting to feel uncomfortable. It was like the walls were closing in, like in some medieval torture device. Chris was going to be so disappointed in her. "You never know when Chris is going to go through my purse, steal all my money and spend it all on candy."

"I doubt he'd steal from you."

"As I like to say, there's a first time for everything, that's how I ended up on a barge in the middle of France with no idea how I or Chris got there."

"I've never heard that story."

"Neither have I, I never did figure out what happened there," Stephanie said. "I figure it had to do with a lot of alcohol, and then Chris and I paying way too much money for a trip that we hadn't planned to take in the first place."

"Crazy."

"So says everyone I know, but I've come to deal with that, nothing I can do now."

"I'll see you tomorrow for breakfast?" Randy asked expectantly.

Stephanie nodded. "Yeah, you can see me tomorrow for breakfast."

"Great," he told her, leaning over to kiss her. Stephanie let him do it for a moment before she pulled away, trying to make it seem like she didn't want to end the kiss. "I love you."

"Ditto," she said with a smile. She knew she was putting up a brave front.

Randy walked her to the door and gave her those moony eyes, like he just couldn't keep his eyes off of her. She walked away, not looking back, sucking at her teeth a little. The elevator ride was too short, because she didn't want to face Chris. He would know immediately and she didn't know how he would react. Maybe he'd laugh at her, or maybe he'd just sigh and dive into a story that somehow explained his feelings on the situation.

She opened the door slowly, hoping that Chris had somehow come down from a big sugar high and had fallen asleep. That way she could avoid him tonight and then leave early enough tomorrow to meet with Randy that Chris would never know. And then she could avoid him for the next, oh, fifty or sixty years and then she would never have to explain herself.

"Stephers, is that you?"

"No, it's the tooth fairy, I had heard there was a kid with a tooth, I just came to check out the merchandise, maybe bring in an appraiser and compensate the owner."

"Oh, well you have the wrong room then."

"Thanks, I'll go look elsewhere…do you have any teeth that you're not using?"

"Nope, but I was in the need for someone to warm the spot next to me on this bed, so if you're available and not busy you know, flying around putting money under kid's pillows, I'd like the company."

Stephanie walked into the doorway and saw Chris there. He smiled at her, and his smile was so sweet sometimes. At moments, she wished that she had just gotten with Chris and then her life would somehow and magically not be complicate anymore. She didn't see how that would be possible, but it would have to be better than going through break-ups and everything trying to find the "one."

"You didn't do it did you?" Chris asked.

"You know me too well, you want to tell me what my liver looks like?"

"I know what your liver looks like and I know you well enough that you are too nice, so I knew you weren't going to do it. I thought about taking a bet on the fact that you would, but you just don't go against a sure bet when you can."

"I chickened out. You should have seen the way that he looked at me when I was talking. I mean, it was like Cinderella looking at Prince Charming. I'm his Prince Charming, or something to that affect, and you don't go against the happily ever after, that's why they have the happily ever after in the first place!"

"Yeah, but also in the original Cinderella story, the two evil stepsisters cut off parts of their feet so the shoe would fit on their feet. So do you REALLY want to equate the two of them?"

"Yes, the cutting off the foot parts are perfect, I can relate that to my ill-fated relationship with Hunter."

"Don't bring Asshole up," Chris said, making a face. "Don't ruin the good thing we have going here."

Stephanie jumped on the bed, laying on her stomach as she looked up at Chris. "Snooks?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we just get together and then tell Randy that we've been together all along and that we hate to break his heart, but we're in love and we're going to get married and all of that?"

"What about Trish?"

"Well, the blonde bombshell was just a cover-up," Stephanie said. "I just can't bear to break his heart. He's so young, he's just a boy, not yet a man, and I'm going to crush him like a bug, like a cockroach in a bad restaurant. I can't do that, marry me!"

"Ok, when do you want to get married?"

"Now."

"Ok, I think I have some free time right now. Now are we going to write our own vows, cause then I'm going to need like ten minutes."

"Oh, think of how many good things you have to say about me Snooks…there's just so many to think of."

"Yes, like how you're messy, and you like to eat lots of candy, to the point where any normal human being would throw up, but not my Stephers, oh no, she can eat candy like a World Champion. You know, that's a good idea. I wonder if your dad would commission a belt for you as the champion candy eater. You could accompany me to my matches with the belt."

"Sounds like a good idea, except you know that my father would never allow that. It's not a serious belt, and you know how my dad likes to be serious."

"Ok, then I'll get you a special belt Stephers."

"You're so sweet Snooks."

Stephanie scooted herself over to Chris laying her head against his leg. She closed her eyes a moment, not trying to sleep, but just get over the night. She could never say that her life was dull. Maybe that's why she had turned out this way. Maybe she hadn't wanted her life to ever be dull and so she had this personality on her. Lord knows her childhood was dull and this was her way of rebelling.

She felt Chris's hand rest on her head and she was going to make a comment that he was using her as an armrest, but then he started running his fingers through her hair. He was trying to comfort her, and she appreciated that. She just got lost in his touch as she laid there on his leg.

"You know Stephers, it'll all work out. At some point, you'll find the courage, even if it means we have to follow the Yellow Brick Road and see the Wizard. While we're there, I can get a brain."

"I know, it always does work out. As long as in the end I have you Snooks, I guess I can do anything."

"I know that for a fact. I've seen you stand up to your parents, and that's probably number one on the lists of things that make you the strongest person in the world. You'll get through this just like you've gotten through everything else."

"That was the best advice you've ever given me Snooks."

"Better than the time that I told you that bangs were not the way to go? Because I thought that was invaluable information. Of course, you went ahead and got them anyways, and then you realized just how right I was, instead of listening to me like any smart person would do, but I can't account for what goes on in that brain of yours."

"Now that makes me not want to marry you, I hope that you know that."

"Or was that part of my master plan all along?" Chris asked.

"Brilliant Snooks, brilliant."

"We're above marriage Stephers, we're so far beyond it, we've transcended the entire institution of marriage. We've reached relationship nirvana and there is nothing above that. I think we should be commended."

"A banquet perhaps."

"Perhaps."

"I really don't want to break his heart you know."

"I know, and that's what makes you my Stephers, your unending need to make sure that people don't hate you. I think you're doing a fine job of that. I did hear though that there is a man in Iowa who doesn't like you. But I figured that you would pencil him in next week, work your charms and your name would be absolved once again."

"Well this is news! I didn't know of this man, now I've got to go to work," she said, starting to get up like she was going to go. Chris pulled her back down.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I was going to think of you my love," Stephanie said, clasping her hands over her heart. "For without you, I simply cannot function."

"So when should I move in?"

"Tomorrow. You know, I do wonder why we never moved in together Snooks. I mean, we spend every single weekend together. Either I'm at your house, your at my house, we're at your parent's house, we're avoiding MY parent's house."

"Now you've planted the seed in my mind. Now it's going to be watered and it's going to grow wildly until I really do move in with you. Or you move in with me…or we move in with my parents."

"That's probably why we don't, because we could never decide where to live."

"True, true…it would just be so simple to be with each other, and probably easier."

"Yeah, but what's the fun in that?"

"I don't know Snooks, I don't know."


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Sorry for the long delay with this one. I was stuck on this chapter. It should be updated more frequently from now on, I know where I want to take this story, so I should be able to update more often. Reviews are always loved and appreciated. :)

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"I can't believe you want me to meet your parents!"

"Well, I figure since you're in my life right now, and for the foreseeable future, it would be the most responsible thing to do. Besides, my parents will be able to judge you well, and if they say that you're not worthy, well then, I'll dump you. So you might want to have a plan of leaving in case that happens."

Trish giggled and hugged him. "I'm really glad you want me to meet them."

"I'll call them right now so you know that I'm dead serious about this. Ok, maybe not DEAD serious about this because I really don't want to end up on an episode of CSI or something, although I don't live in Miami, New York, or Las Vegas. Man, I'm going to get normal CSI people, that sucks."

"Go, call them," Trish said, urging him on, practically grabbing his cell phone out of his pocket.

"Geez, why are you so anxious?" Chris asked. "I've never been with a girl that wanted to meet my parents so much. Oh wait, I get it now, you were a fan of my father's weren't you? And now you're just using me to get to him. I should've seen it coming, I should've known. Well if that's your evil plan Trish, I've thwarted you, be gone!"

"I just want to meet the people who raised someone as great as you," Trish said sweetly, batting her eyelashes.

"Wow, and I thought that all compliments were bad. I'm going to have to do a little more research on that," he said, grabbing his cell phone and pressing the speed dial number for his parent's house. "Mom, it's me."

"Me who?"

"You know who, don't play games with me."

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your call?" Loretta asked.

"I wanted to bring a girlfriend home for you to meet. Look at me being the compassionate son and wanting to be sure of your approval."

"Is this the blonde, young thing that you've mentioned?"

"Yes Mom," he said blandly.

"Fine, bring her home, will Stephanie be accompanying you?"

"I know you'd slam the door in my face if I didn't, so yes, she will."

"Good, then I'll allow you to come home."

"You drive a hard bargain Mom."

"You could learn a little something from it."

"Bye Mom, see you this weekend."

"Goodbye Christopher."

**That weekend**

"Here we are," Chris said, looking at Trish through the rear-view mirror. "This is where I grew up."

"It's nice," Trish said, looking out the window. "I just hope that your parents like me."

"They like Stephanie, that pretty much means they'll like anyone."

"Oh, you're so cute Snooks," Stephanie said, sticking her tongue and getting out of the car. "Don't worry Trish, I'm sure they'll like you just fine."

"Good, thanks for the reassurance, it's just always nerve-wracking to meet the parents, you never know how it can turn out."

The three of them got out of the car and grabbed their things from the trunk of the car. Stephanie grabbed the house key out of her pocket and opened the door, letting them inside as she instructed Trish where to put the bags for now, since Ted and Loretta liked them to be put in a specific place. Trish looked around at where Chris had grown up. The house was quite cozy and looked very homey. She was already liking it.

"Mom! Dad!" Chris yelled out. A few moments later he could hear voices from the kitchen.

"Chris is that you?" his mother called out.

"Yeah, it's us, you were expecting us remember," Chris yelled back.

Ted and Loretta walked around the corner and saw the three of them. Stephanie jumped up and down and Loretta raced towards Stephanie and hugged her tightly, the two of them swaying and giggling at each other. Trish was taken aback by this; Chris had never explained Stephanie's relationship with his parents. She had figured they were on good terms, but this? She hadn't expected this.

"Stephanie, you are looking better than the last time we saw you."

"The last time you saw me I had a cold and you had to take care of me because I was so sick."

"Ok, you've got me there."

"Come on, let me get one of those hugs from my favorite girl," Ted said, getting to Stephanie and giving her a big, huge bear hug. "You get cuter every single time that I see you."

"Dad, you always say that!"

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean that it's not true," Ted said, pulling away from her. "And I bet Chris is chomping at the bit because we wanted to see you first and foremost."

"Well who wouldn't want to see me first Dad, I'm the better-looking one out of the two of us."

"She's got me there," Chris said, hugging his mom and shaking his dad's hand. "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Trish Stratus."

"Nice to meet you," Trish said, extending her hand. His mother shook it and gave her a smile.

"It's very nice to meet you," she said politely. "I'm glad that you could join us here, it's not often that Chris has a girlfriend long enough for us to meet her, so you must be very special."

"I hope so," Trish said, sending a small smile to Chris.

"You are a cute, young thing," Ted said, shaking her hand too. "My son has good taste."

"I know Dad," Chris winked.

"Why don't you take your things upstairs," Loretta said to Chris. "Ted take Stephanie's things up to her room."

"Ok, ok," Ted said, winking at Stephanie. "I guess I have to do what your mother says."

"Dad, I can take them up later if you want me to," Stephanie said sweetly and politely.

"I wouldn't hear of it!" he roared and she giggled as she gave him another hug. He and Chris grabbed the suitcases, leaving Stephanie and Loretta with Trish. Trish stood there a little nervously as Loretta sized her up unabashedly before turning to smirk at the smiling Stephanie.

"So Trish, won't you come into the kitchen and have a cup of coffee?" Loretta asked nicely.

"I'd like that," Trish smiled cordially. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, thank the coffee pot, it's the one doing all the work," Loretta joked and Stephanie giggled madly.

"So Mom, please, please, please tell me that you are making my favorite for dinner this weekend. If you're not I'm going to just fall over and curl up in a ball and suck my thumb in anger all weekend long."

"You're too thin, of course I'm making my special ribs with barbeque sauce," Loretta said, lacing her arm through Stephanie's. "How could I have you over and not feed you? I know that you and Chris never get good food while you're on the road."

"We eat fine Mom!" Stephanie protested.

"Yeah, I'm so sure," Loretta said with a roll of the eyes. "Please Trish, take a seat."

"Thanks," Trish said, taking a seat at the kitchen table. Stephanie walked over to the cupboard and grabbed enough mugs for everyone. She knew her way around the kitchen as she went to grab the sugar from the counter and the milk from the fridge as Loretta grabbed the coffee pot and began pouring it into the mugs.

Stephanie sat down in her usual spot and Loretta sat next to her, patting her hand before turning to Trish. "So Trish, tell me a little bit about yourself."

"Um, I'm not sure what you'd want to know."

"Where are you from is a good place to start."

"Oh, I'm from Toronto."

"Oh, a Canadian, that's always a good thing."

"Mom, I'm not Canadian," Stephanie pouted.

"You're an honorary Canadian," Loretta said good-naturedly. "Besides, you know you're part of our family and as part of our family, that means you're Canadian."

"Cool, I had no idea that just by saying I was part of your family that makes me Canadian. You really DO learn something new everyday."

"So Trish, any brothers or sisters?"

"I have two sisters."

"Interesting."

This conversation was going nowhere and it was kind of awkward for both sides. Trish felt as if this were a face-off of some sort. Stephanie and Loretta seemed so comfortable together, like they really were family and Loretta could see honest affection for her "daughter." Trish felt like she had no chance of getting close to Chris's mother, and she had been hoping to do so over the weekend.

Chris and Ted mercifully came back into the room and pulled up chairs to the kitchen table as they already had coffee cups sitting for them. Chris smiled over at Trish and then at Stephanie who winked at him and stuck out her tongue. Chris just sipped at his drink and observed the people around the table.

"So what happened while I was gone?" Chris asked.

"Well, they discovered another planet behind Pluto and sent a space mission up to check on it," Stephanie said.

"Really? That must've been a rather new development."

"No, not at all, you were just gone for a really long time."

"Oh, I get it now Stephers."

"Do you Snooks?" Stephanie shot back.

"Hey Trish, do you want a tour of the place," Chris said. "Just to get a little more acquainted with it?"

"I'd like that," Trish said, taking his hand. They left the room and Stephanie snickered to herself.

"Well that was…interesting," Loretta deadpanned. "Does she always seem so…mute? Or am I just used to your and Chris's jibber-jabbering all the time without stop?"

"Um, the second one," Stephanie said. "Because I like the word jibber-jabbering."

Chris was upstairs, showing Trish around and she pulled him into the bathroom for a moment. "In the bathroom Trish, this is really pushing the limits, but I guess if I take you against the shower wall we could maneuver around a bit."

"Why didn't you tell me about Stephanie and your parents?"

"What about Stephanie and my parents?" Chris asked, confused.

"Um, she calls them Mom and Dad!" Trish said.

"Yeah, she's been doing that for like 3 years or so. Is that a problem?"

"Why does she call them that?"

"Because they're like her mom and dad," Chris said and he didn't get where the anger was coming from. He had gotten so used to Stephanie calling his parents mom and dad, and given the situation with her own parents, he couldn't blame her.

Trish sighed sadly. "I was hoping that this trip would help me get closer to your parents, so that they would like me, and Stephanie's here and…I don't stand a chance do I?"

Chris took her in his arms and kissed her forehead. "Trish, why didn't you tell me?"

"It didn't seem like it was a big deal," Trish shrugged as she rested her head against his warm, lean body. "I didn't realize how close she was to your parents."

"You have to think of it in terms like this," Chris explained. "Steph is like my little sister, and in many ways, that's how I regard her. I mean, in situations like…well, Hunter for instance."

Trish could feel Chris tense up and she pulled away, looking at his face. It was set, his jaw set and his teeth clenched together. His eyes were staring through the wall and into some far-off place and for the first time ever, Chris scared her. The look on his face went beyond anger to a deeper, more sadistic place and it frightened her a little bit.

"What situation with Hunter?" Trish asked softly.

"I'd rather not talk about it," Chris said suddenly, his voice sharp and staccato. "Suffice to say the guy is a loser and if he ever gets near Stephanie again I'm going to rip him a new one."

"Its ok," Trish told him, massaging his shoulders lightly. "Calm down."

"I'm calm," he said. "Look, Stephanie is like my sister, my parents regard her as my sister, that's it. So just think of her as my sister, and my parents love her like a daughter, but that doesn't mean that you can't get close to my parents."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"I would say something glib like of course I'm right, but then that would imply that I was always right, and my track record isn't that great, so I'm going to have to just say that in this certain instance, yes, I am right."

Later that evening everyone was getting ready for bed. The night had gone rather smoothly, although Trish still had yet to really talk with Chris's parents, but she would just try harder tomorrow. She wanted to be with Chris for a long time, and she wanted to get to know his family as best as she could. She just hoped they would approve of her. She wanted to be liked in the even that she and Chris ever got married.

Stephanie washed her face and brushed her teeth and pulled her hair back into a messy ponytail. She walked out of the bathroom and down the hallway. She knocked lightly on Chris's door and he called out from within to come in. She opened the door and stuck her head in to see Chris pulling his shirt off and Trish sitting cross-legged on the bed putting lotion on her arms.

"Just wanted to say goodnight you guys, don't let the bedbugs bite, but if you do, I think we have some calamine lotion in the bathroom. I know those bedbugs are mean little suckers."

"Night Stephers," Chris said affectionately.

"Night Steph," Trish said, smiling at her.

Stephanie closed the door behind her and was about to go to her room when she saw the light from downstairs was on. She didn't recall anyone being down there so she went down to investigate and found Chris's parents in the kitchen talking. Ted was leaning against the counter and Loretta was seated at the table. Stephanie walked into the room with a smile on her face.

"I thought you guys were in bed," Stephanie said.

"We just wanted to come down and have a glass of water," Loretta answered. "And make sure everything was locked up."

"Oh, so you weren't talking about Trish?" Stephanie asked with a slight grin, sitting down next to Loretta and leaning her head on her shoulder. Loretta patted her head affectionately.

"Ok, so we might have been," Loretta said, laughing. "But we have every right to. Our little boy is dating her."

"So tell me what you think of her," Stephanie said. "I won't tell Chris, I promise."

"And how can we be so sure of that?" Ted asked suspiciously.

"Dad, I wouldn't break your confidence like that."

"We'll tell you what we think if you tell us what you think," Loretta reasoned.

"Deal," Stephanie answered.

"Ted, you first?" Loretta said.

"She's pretty…someone I could see Chris with for the looks. Her personality…she's nice, she's a very nice girl, but just…not who I pictured Chris with."

"Yeah, that's my feelings on it as well," Loretta said. "I can see where he'd think she was pretty and date her because of that, but she's not his type, whatever that may be. Maybe we should just stay out of it, but I know my son…"

"She's kind of prissy," Stephanie said quietly. "She's a really great person though, and I think that she balances Chris well. Do you guys feel the same way?"

"If we're being honest here, I think you balance him well," Loretta said.

Stephanie groaned lightly. "Mom, I appreciate the sentiment."

"No, hear us out," Ted said. "I think it's like this. Whoever you two decide to be with in the long-run, they'll balance you in a certain way, maybe in the love area or something like that, but you and Chris, you're like two halves of a whole."

"If you didn't look so much like your father," Loretta told Stephanie, "I'd swear that you and Chris were twins…and that they stole you away from me when you were born."

"I wish," Stephanie said. "You should just adopt me Mom."

"Oh would that I could," she said. "But I think you're a little too old for that. But you and Chris, you two are one-of-a-kind. Never in my life have I seen two people who connect as much as you two do. And it doesn't even have to be love, it can be friendship."

"Though if you want to make it love, go right ahead. We'd already like you," Ted added.

"Dad," Stephanie scolded. "Ok, I'm going to bed."

"Night sweetie," Loretta said, hugging her as Stephanie lifted her head off of her shoulder. She went over and hugged Ted goodnight before heading upstairs. "So, do you think those two will ever get their acts together?"

"No," Ted laughed. "As much as I would wish for Chris and Stephanie to get together, I just don't think it's in the cards for them Lor."

"I would LOVE to have Stephanie as my real daughter."

"So would I, but we have to trust our kids are making the right decisions for them, and we can't force them to be together. As long as they have each they'll be alright."

"Yes, as long as they have each other…"


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: I knew where I wanted to go with this chapter, but every time I tried to type it out, it came out all wrong. So I don't like the end result, and I don't like this chapter, but it should get better. So hopefully enjoy. :)

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Once Trish realized that she had to realize that Stephanie was really like Chris's sister in the eyes of his parents, the weekend became more relaxing for her. Granted, she still wasn't close to Chris's mother, but she didn't feel paralyzed by nervousness whenever she was around the older woman. She had come to observe that Loretta and Stephanie were very much alike, and it made sense for them to accept Stephanie as a daughter.

"Chris, Stephanie and I are going to go shopping, do you want to come with?" Trish asked as she walked into the living room where Chris was lounging on the couch watching television.

Chris groaned. "How did you talk Stephanie into going shopping? She's not a really huge fashionista or anything."

"I need new shoes," Stephanie said, poking her head into the room. "And unless you want me to walk around forever with shoes with holes in the bottom and then subsequently step on a rusty nail and get gangrene and then have to have my entire leg amputated, then you will understand my need for a trip to any place where there is a congregation of stores including a shoe store."

"I want you to get gangrene," Chris told her plainly.

"Ok then, but don't be surprised if it induces temporary insanity and I do something crazy like chop off all your hair and then shave it bald Snooks. Don't you think he'd look good bald Trish?" Stephanie asked.

Trish pretended to scrutinize Chris's horrified face. "I think it would do wonders actually."

"See Snooks, even your girlfriend is on my side."

"You two are going to end up chopping me into little bits down the road, I can envision it now. You're like two black widows waiting to pounce and I'm your innocent victim."

"Ooh, maybe I should buy an all black outfit if I'm going to be a black widow," Stephanie said. "Just get your ass dressed Snooks so we can go, I need new shoes and these kind of things don't wait."

"Hold your horses Stephers," Chris told her. "You can't just rush me."

"I can," Trish said, going and pulling Chris off the couch forcefully. He grunted as he fell forward a little, surprised by the strength she put behind her pulling on his arm.

"Finally, someone who can just take control over him!" Stephanie exclaimed. "Let us all praise the Lord almighty who has given the blonde strength to vanquish the evil dark lord!"

"One of these days Stephers, one of these days."

"To the moon Alice, to the moon," Stephanie said, trying to do her best Ralph Cramden impression.

"Oh say goodnight Gracie," Chris countered with a pop culture reference of his own.

"Goodnight Gracie," Stephanie said sweetly. Trish just shook her head, once these two got in one of their moods, it was hard to break them out of it. Sometimes she was glad that Stephanie was around so much because it meant that she didn't have to try and keep up with Chris. That was a task in and of itself.

Chris disappeared upstairs to get dressed. Trish and Stephanie stood next to each other waiting for him to come back down. They didn't say anything to each other and Stephanie understood that it was still a little bit awkward between the two of them. They were friends of course, at least Stephanie thought so, but there was this weird tension as well and Stephanie couldn't explain that at all.

"So…" Trish said, trying to break the silence. "Chris's parents are really nice."

"I know, right?" Stephanie agreed with a nod. "They're like the gold medalists of parents."

"Definitely," Trish said awkwardly.

Chris came bounding down the stairs, pulling on his shoes as he went down, almost tripping, but catching himself just in time. Stephanie let out a little giggle and Chris gave her a dirty look. Stephanie just batted her eyelashes at him as he came and wrapped his arm around Trish's waist. Before they knew it, they were in the car and on the way to the mall.

"You guys don't like act totally weird at malls right?" Trish asked as they were walking into the mall. "I mean, you act somewhat normal right?"

"Snooks, do we act normal?" Stephanie asked Chris. He slung his arm around her shoulders playfully.

"Do we ever act normal Stephers?" he said affectionately. "Nah, you don't have to worry about us Trish, it's not like we're going to run around like chickens with our heads cut off. Is that true? Do chickens run around with their heads cut off? I mean, what a disgusting visual that is. A chicken, no head, running around like it's not doing anything."

"Eww, that is gross," Stephanie said, making a face. "Now I may have my chicken-eating impeded by that gross visage."

"Visage? Uh-oh, here comes intellectual Stephers!"

"So Steph, did you maybe want to hit up Victoria's Secret and you could get something for Randy, and I could get a little something for Chris?" Trish said suggestively.

Stephanie guffawed. "Snooks, the reason?"

"Steph does not wear lingerie as she feels that one should not spend a gross amount of money for something that will: a. come off rather quickly b. be uncomfortable and c. make her look like a whore."

"Oh," Trish said. "I had no idea."

"I don't go around parading my thoughts on certain subjects unless the situation arises. It's like my feelings on Valentine's Day."

"Which she also hates," Chris said definitively.

"But don't let me stop you from going," Stephanie said. "As Sly and the Family stone once sang, 'different strokes for different folks,' so go right ahead."

"What will you guys be doing?" Trish asked.

"Well, I need to get shoes, and then we'll probably go the video store or something," Chris said. "We'll keep ourselves occupied, don't worry about us. We're big kids Trish, no need to act like our mother."

"I just don't want to get a call from mall security," Trish said, leaning up to kiss him. "I'd ask Steph to watch you, but I don't think I can trust her either."

"I'm insulted!" Stephanie said, feigning anger. She placed her hand over her heart. "And I thought that you liked me Trish. Now hearing this, I just don't know, I just can't understand how you would say something so callous."

"Both of you, no horsing around," she said, pointing at both of them. "We'll meet back up in a half hour for lunch right here."

"Yes ma'am," Chris saluted. "Come on Stephers, we've only got half an hour before the queen puts us back into the dungeon."

Trish shook her head and gave them one last, lingering look. Stephanie looped her arm through Chris's as they looked around the mall. Chris raised his eyebrows at Stephanie, and she shrugged, not knowing exactly what to do at the moment. Chris sighed and smiled at her carefully.

"We should talk."

"Are you breaking up with me!" she said, pretending to sob. "In the mall, you're breaking up with me at the mall!"

A few people were starting to look at the two of them. Chris just rolled his eyes and Stephanie leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek. He knew that he was going to break from that and he led her over to a bench in the middle of the mall. Stephanie looked around, wondering why he had chosen this spot, not that he HAD to choose this spot for any particular reason, but now she was over-thinking this.

"Ok, so what's on your mind?"

"Well…Trish is a little bit jealous of you."

"Excuse me, the blonde bombshell is jealous of ME. I think I need this certified by a notary because I'm not going to believe it otherwise, it's just too bizarre."

"It's true Stephers, she's jealous of you."

"Snooks, you've got to be kidding me. That's just the stupidest idea ever, and we've had some stupid ideas, remember when we forgot to put the lid on the blender when we were making milkshakes, or when we thought that s'mores made over a fireplace would taste as good as the regular ones? Those are not even on par with the stupidity of the blonde bombshell being jealous of me."

"Well she is, and you're going to have to face that fact."

"Let's go get my shoes Snooks, I'm not going to discuss this stupid thing with you right now."

"Stephers, it's because of my parents."

Stephanie stopped her walking away and looked back at him. "Walk and talk Snooks, walk and talk."

He got up and followed her. "It's like this. She sees how you are around my parents, she sees how close you are and she wanted to come here and make a good impression on them. She wanted to get close to my mom and she feels like she can't because of you."

"What? So this is my fault. Uh-uh Snooks, I haven't acted any different than I usually act, so you can't go blaming this on me."

"I'm not blaming anything on you," Chris told her, sighing. "I told Trish that you're like a little sister to me, that my parents think of you as my little sister and nothing more. But I don't know what to do about it."

"There's nothing you can do…what do you want me to do Snooks? Do you want me to leave? Do you want me to stop talking to your parents? I don't know what I can do here."

"I'm not asking you to do anything Stephers, I'm just…I'm just telling you. No crime in that, it's not a felony last time I checked, although there are some silly laws in some states, like did you know in Denver, it's against the law to lend your vacuum cleaner to your neighbor?"

"Wow, remind me never to move to Denver," Stephanie said sarcastically. "And if you're telling me that means you have the implication to do something. So you're implying that I should do something about the situation and you have as of yet to inform me what that is."

"Nothing," he protested. "You know, I bet a poisonous snake is easier to get along with than you."

"Then why don't you go befriend one, I'm sure it's less of a biter than I am," she said, chomping her teeth for effect. They arrived at the shoe store and Stephanie went around looking for shoes as Chris watched. Stephanie was one of those people who did things as quickly as possible. She would see something, try it on quickly and if it fit and she liked it, she was out of there. She did not browse, she came with a mission and when that mission was finished, she left. He liked that about her. They were out of the store in ten minutes tops, and walking back to where they were going to meet Trish.

"I didn't know you were a biter, that might hinder any future romantic entanglements I get in with you."

"Snooks, you will never see any of this," Stephanie said, gesturing towards her body. "You compared me to a snake, and since I'm of a different species, there's no way that we can take our relationship any further. Too bad, so sad."

"What's so sad you guys?" Trish asked as she walked up to them.

"Nothing Trish," Stephanie said sweetly. "Got what you wanted?"

"Yup," she said, holding up a bag.

"Cool," Chris answered, staring at Stephanie. Stephanie glared at him and it was a big icy for a moment before they heard another voice.

"Chris Jericho, is that you?"

Chris turned and saw a familiar looking guy walking towards him. "Mike Adamson, man, how long has it been?"

"Too long," Mike said. "How've you been? Still wrestling?"

"You know it," Chris said, shaking his hand. "Oh, let me introduce you." He turned to Stephanie and Trish. "This is my girlfriend Trish, and this is my best friend Stephanie."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, this is your girlfriend and your best friend?" Mike said, giving Stephanie a long once-over.

"Yeah," Chris shrugged, not knowing what the big deal was. But then Chris had never seen the big deal with having a girl best friend. Sure, they had had their differences at first, Stephanie telling him why it was so important that he kept the toilet seat down, but overall, it wasn't that different.

Mike pulled Chris away for a moment, "That's your best friend?"

"Yeah," Chris told him. "She's been my best friend for like four years."

"Wow, I think I should get into wrestling," Mike said. "So introduce me."

"Oh yeah," Chris said. "Girls, this is Mike, he and I went to college together, he actually kind of pushed me into journalism as my major."

"So do I have you to thank for making Chris the most verbose guy I know?" Stephanie said, shaking Mike's hand. "You didn't do a very good job though."

"Stephers, be nice."

"I am nice Snooks," Stephanie said sweetly.

"Snooks?" Mike asked.

"Don't worry about it."

"I won't," Mike said, brushing past Chris to get to Stephanie. "You look familiar, I feel like I should know you, but I don't think I do."

"Considering I've never met you, I don't think that you know me, unless we met in a previous life, not that I believe in previous lives, but at this point, I can't say that they have or have not existed. I wouldn't want to discount their existence only to die and then come back as a fish or something and then feel stupid for not believing."

"I do not think I've ever met someone like you."

"Then you haven't really gotten out much, I'm a female, which is different from a male, I could go into the how, but this is a public place."

"You're funny."

"I get that a lot, it always makes me wonder if I didn't miss my true calling as a clown," Stephanie pondered.

Chris watched as Mike was so obviously flirting with Stephanie. He didn't like the feeling of watching her flirt with an old friend. He didn't know why it bothered him, oh right, now he knew why it bothered him. Chris never trusted any guy that went after Stephanie. Yeah, he had done some really strange things to ensure her protection, following her on dates was just an example, but that's just who he was.

Stephanie was different from other girls though, she was probably one of the few that could truly take care of herself if the situation arose, and yet he constantly found himself wanting to just protect her, especially after the whole debacle with Hunter. He didn't trust guys around Stephanie, and if he had his way, she would never date another guy in her life, and he would just take care of her. Wait, HE would just take care of her? When did that thought enter his mind?

No, that had always been there, Chris knew, no matter what, he was going to take care of Stephanie. In what capacity though, he had yet to figure it out.

But he had time.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: I'm absolutely in love with this chapter, yay! I hope you love it too!

* * *

"Can you believe her!" 

"Chris, calm down," Trish said as she sat on her bed in a hotel room the day after they had gotten back from Chris's parents. Between them meeting up with that Mike guy at the mall and now, Chris had been extremely irate.

"No, I'm sorry. Did you see the way she was flirting with him? I mean, I know she's off breaking up with the dreamboat right now, but seriously, what the hell was up with her yesterday?"

"Chris, she was just talking to him, she seemed like her usual self," Trish answered. "She didn't even look like she was flirting with him. She was just being Stephanie."

"I was standing right there!"

"Yeah, so was I, Chris, she was just talking to him, it lasted all of five minutes, why are you getting so bent out of shape about this?"

"I'm not getting bent out of shape about it," Chris snapped. He ran his hands through his hair. "You just don't know her like I do. You don't know what goes on in her head."

"And you do?"

"Yes, I do. I've spent almost every waking moment with her over the past four years. I know everything about her," he said. "And I did not like what I saw yesterday."

"Chris, what has you so paranoid about it?"

"I don't like to see guys hitting on her," he told her. "I just don't. She's…Asshole, that guy, I hate him!"

"Hunter?" Trish supplied.

"Yeah, that jackass who broke her heart. I don't trust guys around Stephanie. They think…they think that just because she's funny, that she makes you laugh, that means that she doesn't get hurt. But she gets hurt and I hate to see it."

Trish smiled at him. "You're a good friend baby."

"I'm the best friend," Chris corrected. "And any guy that dates her is going to have to deal with me. Stephanie has a lot of friends, but she doesn't have a lot of people who absolutely love her. I absolutely love her."

Trish stood up and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I know you do. She's so lucky to have you Chris, and she knows that, I'm sure of it. But this deep-seeded anger has to come from somewhere. You mentioned Hunter…what exactly did he do to her?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Chris said quickly, dismissing it.

Trish frowned. "He didn't," she gulped, swallowing the lump in her throat. "He didn't rape her or anything…did he?"

"Oh God no," Chris said. "If he had raped her, I would've killed him with my bare hands, and that's no joke. If anyone hurt Stephanie, I would not hesitate to rip their throats from their necks and feed it to a pack of dogs."

"Well okay, I know now that you're very protective of her."

"Hunter just broke her heart and used her. He made her believe that he was in love with her, that they had a future together, but the entire time they were together, the ENTIRE TIME, he was sleeping around. He was using her for her money and for her power. And we took him to meet my parents, he was in my parent's home and he was lying to her the entire time. That man can rot in hell for all I care."

"Not every guy is going to be that way baby," Trish comforted him, leaning her head against his chest. "Not all guys are like that. You're not like that."

"Yeah, but there aren't too many of me," he said cockily. "It's secretly why I believe that I'm an only child. My parents totally broke the mold when they had me. I mean, perfection can't be duplicated and they didn't want to put the pressure on any siblings having to live up to me."

"There's the Chris I know and love," Trish said with a smile.

"Yeah, I love you too," he said absently.

"Well don't say that like you mean it or anything," she joked. She crossed her arms in front of her. "This really has you bothered doesn't it?"

"What? No," Chris said, shrugging off her question. "I was just wondering why they say that empty on the gas tank is really empty because you can still go after you've hit that empty sign. They should make more accurate gas tanks."

"You're such a liar," she told him. "Why is this thing with Stephanie bothering you so much…oh God, don't tell me you were jealous?"

"Excuse me?" Chris asked, genuinely perplexed.

"All of this, everything you're saying, you sound like a jealous boyfriend or something," Trish explained to him. "I mean, are you jealous that some other guy was with Stephanie?"

"Trish, I thought we discussed the fact that I've never had any feelings for Stephanie," Chris told her wearily, not wanting to have this kind of discussion right now.

"Yeah, we discussed that, but Chris…the way that you're acting…you might not see it, but I see it. I'm not saying you love Stephanie as anything more than a friend, but these feelings have to come from somewhere."

"Stephanie has nobody but me!" Chris yelled, angry now. Stephanie was his best friend, the one person in the world who was always going to be there. And he would be there for her in the same way. He had to be. "Her family is horrible, if she didn't have me…"

"Chris!" Trish snapped, grabbing his arms. "Stop this. Jesus Christ, I wasn't accusing you of anything. Look, you and Stephanie have something special, I get that, I accept it, but the way you're acting is weird. It just is."

"I'm sorry," he said, calming down. "She's like my little sister, you know. I mean, she isn't but--"

"Maybe you should have sex with her," Trish joked, interrupting him.

Chris's jaw dropped. "Wow, it's weird how suddenly I can go from being awake to being asleep, because I'm obviously in a dream. What's that? I think I saw a unicorn in the corner, and is that a tyrannosaurus rex flying by the window?"

"Well, at least I got you to shut up."

"You can't be serious," Chris told her. "I mean, this is obviously you on drugs. Did you do some crack in the bathroom while I wasn't looking. Do you have some a needle in your pocket? Do I have to check for track marks?"

"You should just sleep with Stephanie and get it out of your system," Trish shrugged. "I mean, get in there, have some sex with her."

"I don't want to have sex with her," Chris said, grimacing. "That would probably be the most awkward thing I've ever done in my life. Oh God, I wouldn't be able to stop laughing. And then of course, right in the middle of the entire thing, she'd probably ask me if I have any Red Vines, and that wouldn't be a euphemism for anything."

"Well good, I'm glad you don't want to sleep with her. You just need to realize that Stephanie is a big girl and sometimes she's not going to need you. I don't see you with her right now as she's breaking up with Randy. She doesn't need you to hold her hand through things."

"Actually, we work on the buddy system so when we're crossing streets, we actually do hold hands. I wouldn't want her running into traffic or anything. She's liable to do it too, she's very antsy."

"I think you should go talk to her," she said. "Just go touch base. I know that she's confused as to why you've been so curt with her since yesterday."

"Do you have psychic powers!"

"No, she told me while you were in bathroom on the plane," Trish said, scrunching up her nose.

"Oh, and here I thought that you had the ability to see what we'd be having for dinner tonight," Chris sighed. "I'm suddenly disappointed."

"Go talk to her, make up, do whatever you have to do so I don't have to see angry Chris anymore. I don't like angry Chris, he's not a very nice guy."

"He's not going to be happy to hear that."

Trish shook her head and pushed him towards the door. He let her push him and then he was out in the hallway. He looked both ways, kind of stalling. He meandered down the hallway past his own hotel room and to the one right next to it, Stephanie's. It was funny how he and Trish were seriously dating and yet they always had separate hotel rooms. He just usually ended up hanging with Stephanie anyways, although a lot of nights he did spend with Trish. He didn't know if Stephanie was finished with Randy. He waited for her to show up, sitting outside her door.

"Ooh, a present, it must be Christmas. I didn't think the break-up took that long," Stephanie pondered aloud.

"It didn't, I was just sitting here, alone, like a lost little boy."

"Get off your ass, you're getting dust bunnies," Stephanie said, lending him her hand. He grabbed it and she helped pull him up. "So are you here to hear about the break-up, to be victorious and tell me that you told me that the dreamboat was not my destiny. Cause if that's the case, you better have Red Vines."

Chris thought back to what Trish had said about sleeping with Stephanie. That would have to be a discussion…no, not the having sex, the thing about Trish saying they should have sex. She looked at him strangely as he stood there thinking hard.

"Snooks, do I have to pat you down for Red Vines or something?" she joked.

"Let's go inside," he said, nodding towards the door. She shrugged and took out her key card, opening the door and letting him inside. She threw the card on the table and turned to him, folding her arms. "I'm really okay Snooks, it wasn't as bad as you're probably thinking it was. He's young, he'll find some girl and sweep her off her feet and she'll be more his type and not completely bat-shit crazy like me, not that I'm condoning my own craziness, but then they say that you can't be insane if you know that you're crazy. Not that I'm even crazy."

Chris went to bed and laid down on it. Stephanie came over and laid in the opposite direction, their heads next to each other as they stared up at the ceiling. Stephanie turned her head towards Chris and studied his profile for a moment. Nothing ever seemed so bad when Chris was around her.

"Snooks, you look like you have something on your mind, and since that's such a rare occurrence for you, why don't you tell me what has you making a face like you just saw that Pepto Bismol commercial that talks about diarrhea."

"Oh, did you see that one with the little girl ballerinas doing the Pepto Bismol for kids commercial? That's terrible. Who thought that would be a good commercial. On the other hand, the commercial with the cat making the charts, that's some good stuff."

"Now you're giving me indigestion."

"Not upset stomach."

"No, and not diarrhea either," Stephanie said. "So Snooks, what's with the face?"

"Nothing, Trish and I were just having this discussion and it was weird, and she said some weird things that stuck with me."

"Don't tell me the blonde bombshell is into S&M or something and wants to be your mistress. I don't see you as a submissive."

"Nothing like that…also eww. That's a disgusting thought…but it does involve sex."

"Oh no, I'm sorry Snooks, but this is the reason that you have guy friends. That's the one area off-limits to me. I do not want to hear about your sex with the blonde bombshell. Those input images to my brain that cause it to short-circuit and then I'm pretty much useless."

"Trish said that WE should have sex."

"Again, I don't want to think….wait, who's the WE in that sentence?" Stephanie asked, her voice hitching.

"You and me."

"She was joking right? I mean, something like that, you're joking. A guy's girlfriend doesn't say that unless she wants…oh, I'm not into that Snooks, sorry, none of THAT for me thanks. I think I'd rather have Twizzlers than do that, and you know I hate Twizzlers with a passion. Actually, I'd rather eat that gross stuff on Fear Factor than think about doing that with you two."

"Ugh, no…although," Chris said, tapping his chin, then shaking his head. "No, just us, just the two of us. She was joking…but maybe we should just do it and get it over with. That way, when people think we should be together, we'd be like, 'Tried that, it sucked.'"

"Um, hate to break it to you, Snooks, but if you were to sleep with me, it would be the best you've ever had," Stephanie said smugly. "I should really get an award."

"It'll be like that Seinfeld episode where they had sex to save the friendship."

"Jerry and Elaine dated each other though," Stephanie pointed out. "We have never dated each other. Save for my crush on you when we started being friends, nothing remotely physical has passed between us."

"I taught you to wrestle, that was physical."

"Yeah, but it wasn't like we were wrestling naked."

"Maybe we need to have sex to save the friendship," he told her, turning his head to face her. "Sex to save it."

"Why does it need saving?" she inquired. "Are we so bad off that we're resorting to sex? Is our banter so dated and boring that we have to cover that up with kisses and touching? Have I failed you as a best friend? Do I need to retake my best friend training? I'll have you know I spent six weeks training to be your best friend and they were difficult."

"I was angry with you for flirting with Mike yesterday," he admitted.

"I wasn't flirting with him, I was speaking to him, but I wasn't flirting. He wasn't even that cute. Besides, why would I flirt with him? I had no reason to do so."

"I'm just…it was just…disturbing."

"You just hate to see me around guys Snooks. That's just par for the course. Where do you think they came up with a saying like that? Par for the course…weird. I know what a par is, but…oh wait, no, no, I get it now. Whew, there's another one of life's little mysteries solved." Suddenly before Stephanie knew what was going on, Chris was on top of her, pinning her to bed. She looked up at him with wide eyes. "Okay, okay, if you want to know what it means, I'll tell you, you don't have to get violent."

"What if I were to kiss you right now?" he asked her.

She pursed her lips before speaking. "I'd think I was in a movie."

"And if I were to have sex with you?"

"I'd think I was in a porn movie," Stephanie answered with a smile.

Chris laughed and rolled off of her. "I knew it would be weird!"

"So you really don't have any Red Vines anywhere on you?" Stephanie asked.

"And I knew you'd ask about the Red Vines," Chris sighed. "I knew it was a crazy thing that Trish was thinking we should get it out of the way. Do we have sexual tension?"

"Do we have any tension?" Stephanie asked.

"I have a little tension between my shoulders, but my chiropractor works that out every other week," Chris said. "I told her it would be weird. Should I kiss you and see if it's weird?"

"No because I'm not even pretty right now."

"I knew it would be this way. So weird, this entire business of being best friends with a girl."

"Well if it really means that much to you," she said, grabbing the hem of her t-shirt. "I'll go a round with you right now."

"You're sweet," he said, punching her lightly in the chin. "But you don't have anything I want."

"Oh, you wish you could see is more like it Snooks. You wish."


	22. Chapter 22

Chris was fidgeting. He tapped his finger on his hand as he lay there in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Trish was asleep next to him, but he hadn't been able to fall asleep. No, he was fidgeting, and he couldn't quite figure out why. He started fiddling with the blankets, and he was just very uncomfortable. He finally couldn't stand it anymore and quietly slipped out of bed. He grabbed a sweatshirt, since he was only wearing his pajama pants and then left the hotel room altogether.

He wandered down the hallway and to the elevator. Before he knew what he was doing, he had pressed the "up" button. He tapped his foot in anxiousness and waited for the doors to open, which they did a moment later. He got into the elevator, pushing the button for the floor he wanted and waited to go up and up and up. He walked quickly off the elevator back to his own hotel room, going inside quickly and heading straight for the adjoining door, opening it and walking into Stephanie's bedroom. He threw off his shirt and climbed into bed next to her.

"Stephers, you up?" he whispered. She only moaned and turned her head away from his. "Stephers, get up."

"What!" she snapped angrily. "Snooks, I thought you were spending the night with Trish."

"I was, but I couldn't sleep, and I don't know why."

"Did you have candy before you went to bed?" she said, opening one eye to see him, even though it was pitch black and she couldn't see anything.

"No, that's the thing, I was just up, I just couldn't sleep. Oh God, do you think its insomnia? Stephers, do you think I caught insomnia?"

"You can't catch insomnia Snooks. It's not a cold…which I will be catching if I don't get my beauty sleep. You're killing me here Snooks, what time is it anyway?" she asked.

"It's 2:38," he informed her. "I can't sleep, this is a problem. Oh God, I have a problem. But I don't know what the problem is. Is there a problem with Trish?"

"IS there a problem with the blonde bombshell?" she reiterated.

"I don't know, is there?"

"Is there?" she asked.

"IS there?"

"How in the hell would I be able to tell if there was something wrong with her? I'm not the one dating the blonde bombshell. You are, and so you should be the one to know if there was a problem with her."

"Because you have good observational skills. I mean, isn't one of your hobbies bird-watching? Don't you just have to sit there and watch, that's observing."

"Oh yeah, the yellow-breasted wood thistle is my favorite bird," she said sarcastically. "Why didn't you wake HER up Snooks? I mean, if you think there's a problem with her, then you should tell her that you think there's a problem. You shouldn't go running to your best friend who was asleep."

"Why shouldn't I come to you, you just said it, you're my best friend."

"Because I was asleep, I also said that, but apparently super-hearing is not one of the super powers that you possess. Tragic really, you never know when you're going to have to eavesdrop on someone."

"I just can't come out and tell her that I think there might be a problem when I don't know what the problem is."

"Maybe it's all in your head. Maybe it'll be like that television show, you know the one, where it ended up everything was in the imagination of an autistic little boy. Do you remember what I'm talking about? It was a TV show, you should remember. How come I can't remember? Oh yeah, I know, because it's almost three o'clock in the morning!"

"Don't be mad Stephers," he said, turning onto his side to face her.

"Do you love her?" Stephanie asked.

"Yeah, I do," Chris said. "I love her a lot."

"Then there shouldn't be a problem."

"I don't know, I think that just being in the same bed with her all night is weird. Maybe I'm just not used to her yet. I mean, I hardly spend any nights over in her bed, I usually spend them with you."

"Don't you think that's kind of sad?" Stephanie said, scrunching up her nose. "That you're more used to being in my bed over a bed with your girlfriend? I mean, to the outside world, the one that thinks rationally and actually, you know, has adult conversations, that's pretty weird."

"So I just have to get used to her," Chris said, settling down in bed. "Yeah, that makes sense. I just have to get used to her. I mean, the first time we slept in the same bed, it was a little weird, and it took me a couple of months to get used to you being there."

"Exactly Snooks, see, you're freaking out over nothing. I mean, if this were something like aliens coming to Earth and shooting laser beams into the world's monuments thus forcing Will Smith to save the world, then we'd have a slight problem. But this is nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Now get some sleep," she said. "Because that's what I'm going to be doing, and if you just sit here talking to yourself you're probably going to get answers that you don't want to hear."

"Okay, yeah, sleep is good, sleep is self-replenishing…" Chris settled himself into the bed, pulling the covers over his body and closing his eyes. It wasn't a few moments later that he felt a tapping on his forehead and he opened his eyes.

"You tell me to go to sleep and then you tap on my head like it's a door to Narnia or something," Chris said, annoyed. "If you actually want me to sleep then you might want to let me sleep. Unless you have some strange motive for waking me up. Oh God, plants have taken over the world and we have to save it."

"No, not it at all Snooks, and if your head was a door to Narnia, that would make it near impossible for everyone to get in."

"So why bug me Stephers?"

"You're spending the night here?"

"Well, I was comfortable," Chris answered.

"Does your girlfriend even know you're here?"

"Oh crap, I forgot about Trish," Chris said, sitting up. "I just wanted to come up here to talk to you that I completely forgot about her. I wonder if she's woken up. Probably not. See, this is why I have you, because I'd completely forget about these things."

"No, you'd have nobody to come to in the middle of the night, so you wouldn't have left Trish alone, see how that whole series of events happens. It's like changing the past. Hey, if you could change the past, what would you do?"

"Well obviously I would've stepped out of the way when you spilled hot chocolate off of me."

"So that's your way of negating our entire relationship? Well, that's a low blow Snooks. You should be thanking me for being a clumsy clod and spilling that on you. I mean, then you might not even know my middle name or what I have under my bed."

"I still wish I didn't know what you have under your bed," he said in distaste.

"Go back to your girlfriend Snooks, you'll see me in the morning," she told him, yawning. "You can't just leave her there by herself. She could wake up, think you left her and throw herself off the balcony in your room, and then you'd be a murderer."

"She's on the second floor."

"Yeah, but that could still do damage. It's like they say when people can drown in two inches of water. Two feet is a lot more than two inches."

"Okay, see you in the morning for breakfast?" Chris asked her.

"Unless tomorrow never comes, sit on that for a second."

"It already came, it's after midnight."

"Don't ruin my philosophical moment!"

"Sorry Stephers," he told her as he leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. "Hope you have dreams filled with Red Vines and a real world Candy Land."

"Don't even tease me like that," Stephanie pouted. "You know that's my ultimate fantasy."

"And here I thought it was of my sexy body," he chuckled.

"Well, if you start wearing candy coated clothing, it might be."

Chris laughed and left Stephanie to her bed and sleeping before heading back to Trish's room. To his delight, Trish wasn't awake and he got back into bed after discarding his sweatshirt. Unfortunately, the movement woke Trish up and she turned to him, sleep in her eyes as she ran a hand through her hair.

"Where'd you go?" she asked sleepily.

"I needed to go talk to Stephanie."

"In the middle of the night?" Trish asked.

"Yup, sometimes you just need to discuss some things and this was one of those times, I had something I really needed to discuss with her. I guess there's just been something that's been bugging me. I think I may have figured it out."

"What's that?" she asked.

"Well, I love you."

"I know that," Trish said as she snuggled up to Chris's side. "And you know that I love you too."

"Yeah, I do know that. And I guess what's been bugging me, and I didn't even tell this to Stephanie, because well…I think it was something I needed to discuss with you first."

"Whoa, there's something you wanted to tell me BEFORE you told Stephanie?" Trish asked in awe. "This must really be important if you're telling me first."

"It's like this…I've been thinking about the future," Chris said slowly. "Now normally, the future for me is like next week. Stephanie and I, we don't plan things because like to let life flow over us. That's the way we think. If you plan for things, then you're totally just compartmentalizing your life, you're doing things by the book. Stephanie and I are spontaneous, and I like that. But then I was thinking about the future, and it was weird, because I don't do that."

"Okay…" she said, gently prodding him along.

"And I guess when I looked at the future, I saw you."

"That's sweet," she told him, pressing a kiss to his neck.

"I mean, I saw you and Stephanie, because Stephanie's always going to be there, that wasn't the surprise. The surprise was seeing you there too. I mean, with Stephanie…I always knew she'd be there. Because she's my best friend and I love her, and I know that we are each other's rocks. But then you were there and I don't plan for stuff like that."

"Uh huh…go on…"

"I guess I see myself…wanting to marry you," he told her softly.

"Chris, are you asking me to marry you?" Trish asked in shock. She had not been expecting this. But how could she? Chris was not a serious person, but here he was, being serious to the point where she didn't even recognize him.

"Well, I guess…the option is out there," Chris told her slowly. "I mean, yeah…I guess it is out there."

"Yes! Oh God yes!" Trish squealed in happiness, throwing her body over Chris's and giving him a full-bodied hug. "Oh my God Chris, this is amazing. I'm…oh God, I can't call anyone right now, they're all sleeping, but tomorrow, I'm telling everyone I know."

"I don't uh…have a ring or anything."

"That's okay, we'll get one," she said, whispering into his neck. "Oh Chris, I love you."

"I love you too," he said, hugging her back.

The next morning, Trish was up bright and early, ready to go tell everyone that they were engaged. Chris had to tell one person, knowing Trish would tell everyone else. He went up to her hotel room and found her running around trying to pack everything back up into her suitcase. Her hair was flying around behind her, still damp from her shower and he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back to him, giving her a hug from behind.

"You know, I had this whole system planned, and I had a timetable, and you're completely screwing up the timetable," Stephanie said. "Did you not see the whole me in motion thing? I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious."

"Pull your hair back, it's flying all over the place and you're just going to get knots in it," he told her. Do you remember when you got knots in your hair, and then you tried to brush them out and the brush got stuck in your hair and you had to call me to come help you get it out."

"Ahh, The Great Brush Incident of 2000," she recalled with a sigh.

"Yeah, so you really should pull it back and out of your face, I wouldn't be surprised if you somehow ended up zipping it into your suitcase," he told her, then grabbed the hair tie from his own hair and proceeded to tie her hair into a ponytail.

"Oh Snooks, you sure know how to treat me well," she said in a bad Southern accent. "I do believe you're the only guy I know who would actually do my hair for me."

"I am."

"So breakfast?" she asked. "I feel like French toast. Did you know that they used to make that out of stale bread because they were like poor or something so they could only get stale bread? It's weird when food has such a great history. I don't have a great history."

"Okay, before we go down and eat, I have news."

"You have news Snooks? Like a news anchor. Wow, do I get my own personal news report? Wait, wait, hold on, I have to pretend that you're on the TV or its just no fun getting the news." She hopped onto the bed and crossed her legs, looking up at him expectantly. "Okay, let's see what's on the old boob tube. Man, that's a really awkward saying. You know, when they came up with that, boob meant a totally different thing, but if you say boob tube now…in today's context…it still somehow holds up."

"Well, this is Chris Jericho with the latest morning news. Seems that Chris Jericho and Trish Stratus are now engaged. Thank you for spending your morning with us," he told her.

Stephanie's jaw dropped and she sat there staring up at him. "Does this TV have Tivo, because I think I need to do a instant replay."

"You heard correctly."

"Um…Snooks, was it not last night that you were telling me how uncomfortable you were in bed with her?"

"It was, but you know what, I think that was just because this has been weighing heavy on my mind," Chris told her.

"Oh…wow…I always knew this day would come, but now that it's here, it's very…wow. I knew that one day, one of us would get married…I just…wow, it's really here."

"What's really here?"

"The day I was replaced…I didn't think it would feel like this, I mean, I don't have many words, which is strange for me because usually I have too many words and it's difficult to find a balance between the two extremes. So then usually I ramble on and on about nothing and everything all at once, and then usually somebody stops me, but I'm noticing that you're not stopping me from talking and talking and talking, why are you stopping me from talking?"

"I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the part where you said that you were getting replaced," Chris told her. "Stephers, when did I ever give you the impression that you were being replaced?"

"Well, look at it this way, I'm your best girl right? I've been #1 in your life for a while right?"

"That's right, I fail to see where this is going, but I'm guessing that you have a roadmap in your mind somewhere, so I'll let you keep going."

"I can't be your #1 anymore, Trish is going to have to be your #1, oh, and when you have kids, oh man, that's going to bump me back down further and further down the list. I may be knocked out of the top five, and there's no way that I can get back in it if you have a wife and kids, it's not like I can win a tournament. I mean, yeah, I can win some tournaments, but not that one."

"You'll still be #1."

"Snooks, there's no way that I can be #1 if I have to compete with your fiancée, oh wow, that's strange, you have a fiancée. Strange things are afloat," she said, but then she smiled. "But you do know that I'm so incredibly ecstatic for you. I'm already planning my speech at the wedding. It's going to start with the time that you were running at the beach and saw that really big seagull coming straight for you and you started running away, but it was really aiming for the garbage can like three feet from you, and you screamed. I think that's a nice anecdote, don't you think?"

"Sounds great," he said, but he was distracted a little bit now.

"So, I'm going to be your best man right? Or your best woman, which is more appropriate to say? Do I wear a suit? Or should I wear like a black dress. Or a black and white dress, like suit and tie colors? I'm running under the assumption you'll wear a tuxedo. Wow…so much to do. Maybe this is my way of compensating for not being #1 anymore. Don't worry Snooks, I'll get used to it. I'll just have to take a small step back from your life."

"What! What are you talking about?" Chris asked, glaring daggers at her. "Step back?"

"Snooks, you're going to be busy with a wedding, and you know, moving in with her and all of that stuff. You won't have that much time now, not with the wedding. Plus, she's going to be your wife, and I'm just the best friend. Haven't you seen all those movies and shows where the best friend takes on a lesser role once the wife is in the picture? Yeah, a little step back won't hurt as long as you come out happy."

Chris looked away for a moment and then kneeled next to the bed so he could look up at Stephanie. She looked at him curiously, knowing that he had something on his mind. "What is it Snooks?"

"Stephers, you will always be #1."

"Huh?"


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: Sorry about the last chapter guys, but if I want the ending I have, this is the way that it has to be. Thanks for the reviews though and I hope you enjoy the chapter. :)

* * *

"Breakfast now?"

"Let me see, in all the time you've known me, have you ever, and I mean EVER known me to turn down a meal?" Stephanie asked.

"You know, it's a wonder that you aren't 500 pounds with all the food you consume," Chris said, shaking his head.

"It's because you always keep me on my toes," Stephanie said. "I burn off a lot of calories just keeping up with you…not in the bedroom or anything, but you know, just like…I've talked myself into a corner here haven't I?"

"Yeah, you have, but if you really want me to help you out with that burning calories thing, I have no problem with that."

"You're engaged now, you can't be coming on to me. I mean, really Snooks, what if just one day I couldn't hold back my passion anymore and I just…jumped you and made you fall against the bed and then I rode the living hell out of you?"

"I would…let you?" Chris said as he pressed his hand against the small of Stephanie's back. "Come on, let's get down there before they start serving lunch and then I'll be mad because I want pancakes and they won't have them, and I'll blame you and then I won't want to be your friend anymore."

"Tragic," she responded dully as she let Chris lead her out of the room. "So how did you propose? If you tell me that you got down on one knee and said some sappy speech, I think I might hurl right now, and then I'll get on the elevator and the motion will make me hurl, so really, I just don't want to hurl."

"But then your stomach would be empty for breakfast."

"Are you trying to advocate me getting an eating disorder, because then I think that we might have to make a Lifetime movie out of that and you would be the bad guy, definitely, and I'd be the beautiful, young heroine."

"Well, that's not very cool, who would portray me?"

"A washed-up 90's actor I'm sure."

"Oh, well, I definitely don't want that. I just kind of said it. We were in bed and I just let it slip out of my mouth. It wasn't anything big or anything, there was no great speech. I didn't say that our love made me feel like I was floating above the clouds in a sea of beautiful blue and pinks of the sunset."

"If some guy ever proposed to me like that, I think I would put him in a headlock and then throw him out of my house or wherever we happened to be, because that would be disgusting."

"And pray tell what would your perfect proposal be?"

"I want the guy to walk across the United States and when he gets to the end, I'll be there and he can propose, better to make the guy work it. It'll be just like in Forrest Gump when he does all that running, just because he wanted to. Which sounds so stupid when you say it like that. Running just because you have to, I don't even like running when I have to. That won't bode well for me if I'm ever in a place that catches on fire."

"Don't worry, I'll throw you over my shoulder and run for the both of us."

"I knew I kept you around for a reason," she said as they had reached downstairs and the coffee shop off the lobby. Trish was sitting alone at a table, but she was on the phone. She spotted the Terrible Twosome and waved them over. Chris and Stephanie walked to the table and Chris gave Trish a small kiss before sitting down next to her.

"I'm going to have to go," Trish said into her phone. "Yeah, I'll talk to you later. Bye."

"Who was that?" Chris asked.

"Just Torrie," Trish said. "I was telling her the news, the big, big news, which I'm assuming you told Stephanie so I don't sound stupid right now."

"What news?" Stephanie said, feigning stupidity. "Is there big news?"

"Oh, you didn't…" Trish said, her voice trailing off.

"No, I did, Stephers just gets selective amnesia every once in a while and you'll just have to forgive her for that."

"Really, congratulations Trish," Stephanie said sincerely. "I'd say you're getting a good man, but I've seen Chris at his worst and so…good luck with that one!"

"And if you'll excuse me, Stephanie's head has to be met with a toilet," Chris responded.

"You two," Trish said amusedly. "Okay, so after this breakfast, what are you doing Stephanie?"

"Um, I was probably going to go up to the roof and bungee-jump off the side of the building and then pretend like I was Spiderman, but like a woman. Other than that, no plans at all."

"Good, well, I got a few of the girls around and we're going to talk about the wedding, and I definitely want you to be there, so you HAVE to come up and discuss with us," Trish said. "I'm not taking no for an answer, so you might as well agree, I've already slated you in for a bridesmaid position so--"

"Oh, that won't be necessary," Chris said, smiling over at Stephanie as he interrupted Trish. "Stephanie's on my side of the altar."

"Huh?"

"Stephanie's going to be my best man."

"Woman," Stephanie corrected. "Because I'm a woman…Chris doesn't realize these are breasts."

"Chris, don't you think that she should be a bridesmaid?" Trish asked.

"No," Chris said. "Stephanie is going to be next to me, I don't care about anything else, Stephanie's going to be my best man."

"Again, it's woman Snooks, I'm really a woman, I'd show you, but well…I don't think I want to show everyone right here in this diner," Stephanie said.

"So Stephanie's going to plan you a bachelor party?"

"No!" Stephanie said. "Someone else can do that, but I think I can handle all of the other duties and things like that."

"Okay, well that's fine, but you still have to come up after breakfast so we can discuss. I want everything to be great because I only plan on getting married once, what about you Chris?"

"Yeah, just once," he said, smiling at her.

"I plan on getting married six times," Stephanie chimed in. "That way I can live up to the expectations set forth for me by the likes of all the people in soap operas. I want to be the next Erica Kane if I can be."

"Good luck with that Stephers."

The breakfast went well and soon, Trish was dragging Stephanie upstairs. Stephanie let herself be dragged since she didn't really want Trish to think that she didn't like her or anything. They went up to someone's hotel room and Trish knocked before a squealing Torrie was revealed on the other side. Stephanie reluctantly followed. It wasn't that Stephanie didn't get along with any of them, she did, it was just that she was more of a tomboy who would hang out with the guys.

"Great, you two are here," Torrie said genially. "We've been waiting for you."

"If that doesn't sound like the beginning of being brainwashed, I don't know what does," Stephanie joked as she walked into the room. It earned a small chuckle from Torrie, but not much else. Her humor was wasted on them. She looked around the room and saw Stacy and Lita sitting there. Stephanie suppressed the groan. Probably her strongest ally in the room was Lita since Lita wasn't as girly as the other three and she and Lita were actually friends.

"Hey guys, so I guess that Torrie spread the news," Trish said as she sat down. Stephanie took a seat in one of the chairs. Everyone congratulated Trish and she beamed at them. "I know, it was so unexpected. Stephanie, had he mentioned he was going to propose at all, I mean, marriage, did he ever mention it?"

"Nope," Stephanie answered.

"Yeah, so it had to be completely out of the blue then," Stacy said. "Trish, you are going to be one beautiful bride."

Trish teared up. "I just can't believe that I'm getting married and to someone as completely hot as Chris, and he's sweet and funny, and just so kind. I'm a really lucky girl."

Everyone cooed and aww'ed over Trish's mooning over Chris. Stephanie tried to remain upbeat, but it was difficult because Chris was something else entirely to her. Sure, he was all those things, but he was also…well he was just Chris to her and it was weird hearing someone so completely in love with him and failing to see all his faults.

"So Steph, does Chris have any weird quirks?" Stacy asked.

"Weird quirks?" Stephanie asked, hating that she was the center of attention for such a weird…gathering. "He…likes…I don't know."

"Oh come on, dish!" Torrie said. "I mean, besides Trish, I think that you know more about Chris than any of us do."

"She knows more than me," Trish said and there was no derision or jealousy in her voice, it was simply the truth, that was all.

"Well, I don't know what's considered weird," Stephanie said. "Chris is just your normal, average guy. He likes his sports…I guess one of his quirks is that he likes to play hockey to calm himself down."

"Oh…" Torrie said, not finding that at all compelling. "How did you and Chris get to be such good friends anyways?"

"I spilled hot chocolate on him," she explained quickly. "I wouldn't leave him alone with my apologizing and I still haven't left him alone."

"Sounds kooky," Stacy said. "So the wedding, what colors are you thinking about having it?"

"I was thinking, very simple, like a white and maybe like a gold or something. Just neutral colors, I don't think Chris wants elaborate. I don't either though, but I definitely want it to be elegant. Nothing too fancy, but definitely elegant."

"Hey, you guys, I've gotta go, I kind of had plans already and I can't stay, but definitely tell me what you guys thought up," Lita said, standing up. "Hey Stephanie, I really needed to talk to you about getting some time off, if Trish doesn't mind, think I can steal you away."

"Oh, it's okay," Trish said. "Steph, we'll have to have dinner sometime, I'll fill you in and you can get Chris's input."

"Sounds good," Stephanie said, standing up eagerly. She followed Lita out the door and sighed in relief. "How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing," Lita laughed. "I think we were both floundering in there. As the only two non-blondes, we have to stick together. Leave it to the Blonde Triplets to make the wedding plans. I'm Trish's friend, but nothing sounds more boring to me than planning a wedding that ain't mine."

"I know, I mean, I like Trish, but seriously, what do I know?"

"I figured I had to get you out of there before they asked you if you had slept with Chris or something, which we both know…impossible."

"I know, and like grilling me about him? I felt like I had committed some sort of murder and they were asking where I was on the Sunday of June the 3rd or something. I mean, come on, I know Chris, but I can't just think of everything off the top of my head, I'm not a machine."

"So you're a bridesmaid too?"

"I'm Chris's best woman," Stephanie said. "I think Trish just wants to be on my good side because I'm Chris's best friend. I mean, she thinks that if I don't like her, somehow I'm going to talk Chris out of marrying her."

"Would you?"

"Not unless she was doing something that hurt Chris. I'm not the Wicked Witch of the West or anything. If Chris is happy, then I'm happy for Chris. That's as far as it goes."

"I know, and most people know, but I guess it's more difficult for her because she loves Chris and she knows that it's very tenuous."

"Hey, there's my girl!" Stephanie looked up and saw Edge walking towards them. He went straight for Lita and scooped her up, hugging her tightly. She smiled at him as Edge raised his eyebrows over Lita's shoulder.

"Hey crazy lady," Edge said affectionately to Stephanie as he put Lita down. "I guess you were with the other crazy crazies who were talking about Trish getting hitched to Chris."

"I was."

"And they asked you? Like you know anything about weddings."

"I do! I've seen television, I watch the celebrity wedding profiles, I'm up to date on who is dating and marrying whom," Stephanie argued.

"Sure you are, but that just ain't your scene," Edge told her.

"Have you seen Chris?"

"Can't say that I have."

"I'll let you two go," Stephanie said, smiling at both of them before walking away. She turned the corner and saw her brother waiting for the elevator. She went over and stood next to him, and if you had observed them and not known them, you would think they were just two strangers who kind of resembled each other.

"So I heard Chris is getting married, where does that leave you?" Shane asked bluntly, glancing over at his younger sister.

"Oh, I don't know, I heard your computer crashed, where does that leave you? I mean, without your weekly virus scan, who knows what you might catch."

"Just find it interesting that Chris is getting married. I mean, you've been his best friend for a while apparently, and suddenly, he wants to be with another woman. I'm just thinking that it might leave you out in the cold."

"Whatever Robot," Stephanie snapped.

"Be careful Steph, the more you alienate someone, the more alone you're going to be."


	24. Chapter 24

"So how are the wedding plans going?"

"They're going fine," Chris told Stephanie over a cup of coffee. "She's the one who's taking care of most of it though, and that's just fine with me. I'm not cut out to choose flowers or you know, ice sculptures or those little things with the candy in them that you get, I don't know what those things are called. What are they called?"

"You expect me to know? I'm not even married, nor have I ever been married, not to mention I'm not even dating anyone at the moment."

"And whose fault is that?" Chris asked, giving her a knowing look.

"Yours," Stephanie said with a shrug and Chris's jaw dropped. "What Snooks?"

"How is any of this my fault?"

"Because you didn't ask me to marry you first," she told him impishly, but then she just smiled at him, "And because you are the guy that follows me around on dates and everything. How can I have a relationship with you around?"

"So I'm the one that's to blame for you being single?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, you are, so you and the blonde bombshell huh?"

"Yup, me and the blonde bombshell, getting married, doing the whole domestic thing, you know, the wife, the kids, the dog, the white picket fence."

"Sounds…boring as hell," Stephanie said with a laugh. "Not that it's a horrible dream or anything, but I mean, I'd need something more exciting. While all those things are good for some people, I don't think I could settle down in that fashion. I'm not mature enough for kids, I mean, I'd like get cereal for them and then end up eating it because I love cereal and then my kids would go hungry and they'd be taken away."

"You'll get married someday Stephers, you just need to find the right guy for you."

"Shane says I'm going to end up alone, and I don't blame him for saying that, I mean, he's a robot, they're supposed to be totally logical aren't they?" she said glumly, but then brightened up for Chris. "But you don't need to hear about that Snooks."

"What? When did this happen? Do I have to get that robot back for you?" Chris asked. He didn't like when she was alone with Shane. Or her parents for that matter. The whole lot of them seemed to only want to make Stephanie's life miserable and he hated them for that. Stephanie deserved the best life in the world, not a crummy family.

"It's nothing Snooks, he just said that I would end up alone and that you'd well…that you'd forget about me when you get married to the blonde bombshell, it wasn't anything that you need to worry about or anything, it was just something that he said."

"He said that!" Chris said, angrily, standing up from his chair and looking like he was going to murder Shane right then and there. Stephanie grabbed his hand and pulled him back down.

"Snooks, calm down, he was just trying to get under my skin like usual. He didn't mean anything by it, I swear."

"Fine, but I'm trusting you. If he says stuff like that again, you come find me and I'll be after him like, well, like a dog looking for a bone, you know, the dogs that can smell really well, I don't know who they are, but they do smell well and then I'll get him like that."

"Let's just go shopping okay," Stephanie said. "That way it's one less thing for you to think about with the wedding."

"That's true, because I'm thinking about it SO much," he said sarcastically.

"You don't sound too enthused," she pointed out as they walked out of the hotel and to Chris's rental car.

"Well, I just didn't know there would be so much work put into it. Trish wants a big wedding, you know, a whole production. I'm surprised that she doesn't want fireworks as we kiss at the end of the ceremony."

"Are you coming out to your entrance music?" Stephanie asked with a laugh. "I mean, how cool would it be if you have your back to everyone with the countdown going down and then I accompany you, and I give my sneer and everything?"

"Actually, that's not a bad idea, but Trish is really going for elegance," Chris shrugged. "And what she wants, she's going to get."

"If you had your way though," Stephanie said. "What kind of wedding would you want? What is YOUR dream wedding Snooks? And if you tell me it's something like I don't know, skydiving or underwater, then I'm going to lose a lot of respect for you."

"Honestly, you want to know?"

"No, I want to know dishonestly," she responded. "Come on, tell me before we get to the mall and you forget because we have a new mission that we had to go on. And if we fail at this mission Snooks, if we don't succeed, the blonde bombshell will kill us."

"I don't know Stephers, I just kind of always pictured getting married outdoors, maybe the beach, maybe in a field or something, but like somewhere that wasn't complicated. But I love Trish and I want everything to be perfect for her," he cleared his throat and parked the car. "I just want her to be happy."

"You're going to be so good at this marriage thing, already whipped beyond belief."

They got out of the car and Chris rushed to Stephanie's side and grabbed her around the waist and held her against him as she tried to squirm out of his arms. She squealed and tried to get away, but he was so much stronger than her. They walked together, step for step into the trendiest and most expensive store in the mall. They got a few stares from the patrons, but Chris and Stephanie both had enough cash to get what they needed to get here and still have tons of money left.

"So dress or suit?" Stephanie asked Chris.

"Whatever you want Stephers, it's really up to you," Chris told her.

"What about the blonde bombshell, what would she prefer?" Stephanie asked. "Would she want me in a suit?"

"Let's check out the suits and then we can check out dresses and decide. You could get like a tailored suit, nothing that makes you look like a guy, because you're not a guy."

"What? You mean these breasts mean that I'm not a guy," Stephanie said, almost groping herself, but then winking at Chris. He stared down at her cleavage. "Snooks, my shirt isn't going to spontaneously fly off just because you're staring at them."

"But they're just so pretty," Chris cooed playfully. "I'm just picturing the one time that I got to see them. I don't think I'll ever forget that picture."

"What? Me screaming and covering myself up and yelling at you to get the hell out of the bathroom and then you stumbling out the door and then almost falling down the stairs and having to grab the banister to keep from tripping."

"I was so shocked by your beauty," he joked. "Or maybe just how big your tits were." This garnished a few stares from some uppity women a few feet away. Chris laughed and made a lewd gesture towards Stephanie.

"Snooks, you're embarrassing everyone here with your candidness. Although, you know, the whole beauty part, not too far off," Stephanie said as they walked to the suits section. A man came up to them and automatically went to Chris.

"What can I get you sir?" he asked.

"Actually, the suit would be for me," Stephanie said, pointing at herself.

"What?"

"My friend is getting married and I'm his best man, so to speak, and I was wondering if you could possibly make a tailored suit for me," Stephanie explained. The guy smiled at her, and Chris didn't like it.

"I don't think I've ever gotten that kind of request before," the man told her. "But if that's what you want, we'll definitely try to fit you out for a suit. I think our tailors might be able to get you just what you need."

"Thank you, I was just wondering how I'd look, I don't want to look too much like a guy," Stephanie said with a giggle. "I just don't want to look like I'm a total bridesmaid on the wrong side of the altar or anything."

"Well, my name is Sam and let's see if we can get you in a suit," Sam said to her. Stephanie smiled gratefully at him as Chris watched her walk off with him to go look at some of the jackets that were hanging around on a rack. "We can probably get you the smallest size and then take it in drastically. When is this wedding going to be?"

"Well, it's going to be in about a month," she said, "would that be enough time to get it done?"

"Yeah, and would you pick it up?"

"Yeah, definitely pick it up," Stephanie said, giving him a slightly coy look which didn't go ignored by Sam or by Chris, who was just following them around now. "So I just wanted your basic black suit, white shirt, you know, that guys usually wear to things like weddings."

"Yeah, that would probably be best, and we can get you a tie to match and everything."

"Definitely, ooh, this is starting to sound like a lot of fun," Stephanie said excitedly. "I've never actually worn a suit before, I hope I don't get hit on by any girls, that wouldn't be too cool. But I just want to look you know, good and like I belong, right? Because I'd hate to be sticking out like a sore thumb, since it's not my wedding or anything, although if it were my wedding, I would want to stick out, but not like a sore thumb."

"Come on, I'll show you just what we've got," Sam said, leading her by the arm as he gathered a few of their more basic suit jackets. Chris followed, but then grabbed Stephanie by the arm, startling her. She looked at him quizzically and she excused herself from Sam before going over to Chris.

"What is it?"

"Maybe we should look at dresses first, just to see if you want to wear a dress instead of a suit. You might want to wear one of those."

"But why can't I look at suits now and then go look at dresses Snooks?" Stephanie asked.

"Because if you get this fitted, then you're pretty much buying the suit Stephers," Chris said, trying to rationalize what he was saying. "So why don't we just look at some dresses first and then we can come back."

"Fine," she said, walking back over to Sam. "Hey, can we hold off on the suits for a little bit, we're going to go look at dresses for a little bit and then we'll be back."

"Of course," he said. "Just come back when you're ready."

"Thanks," Stephanie said with a smile before she walked back over to Chris. "You're acting weird, you know that right? I thought that the suits looked good and that I would look really good in them, and unique and totally like your best man, I don't know why you insist that we should look at dresses."

"Just to see okay?" he asked, his voice exasperated as he pulled her in the direction of the formal dresses. She just watched him a moment.

"Okay Snooks, you're going to have to tell me what is wrong with you," Stephanie said as she grabbed a couple of dresses. "You were fine this morning and now you're not fine, is it the wedding? Are you freaked out because you're getting married in a month?"

"Yeah, that's it," he said quickly. "I'm freaked out because I'm getting married and lets face it Stephers, neither one of us thought that this would ever happen. I'm just a little overwhelmed right now and I'm sorry if I'm snapping at you."

Stephanie dropped her usual loopy demeanor and gave his shoulder a slight squeeze. "Snooks, you're going to be fine, you love the blonde bombshell and you two are going to be so insanely happy together that you won't even want to hang out with me anymore because you'll want to spend all your time with her. Trust me on this one, you're going to be so great together, and I mean so great."

"Do you really think so?" he asked, searching her eyes for something, anything. He didn't exactly know what he was searching for, but there was something that he was searching for and he couldn't put his finger on it.

"I really think so," she said in a way that he had to believe. "You wouldn't have asked her to marry you if you didn't love her. You love her Snooks, and in the end, isn't that the only thing that really matters?"

"I guess it might be."

"Might be? Uh uh, it's what matters the most. You are going to pledge your love to her and you're going to show her how much you want to be with her and the moment, the second that the ceremony is over, you're going to just…I don't know, burst with happiness like the Stay-Puff marshmallow guy in Ghostbusters, or something to that effect."

"You think?"

"I think," she said, then grabbed a dress, "Oh, I think this is perfect, I'm going to try it on."

"Okay, I'll wait for you out here," he said as she headed towards the fitting room.

He stood around looking at the dresses until she was ready to come out. It took a few more moments and then she walked out. She had pulled her hair out of her face and into a loose ponytail and she was wearing a black, strapless, floor-length silk gown that hugged her wait and that she filled out perfectly. She extended her arms in front of her and did a little twirl for him.

"Do you think this is formal enough?"

"You look…"

"Like I'm on my way to some fancy funeral?" Stephanie asked with a smile. "You know, I could probably wear a pearl necklace or something to give it a little white, or like a sash or something. So I don't look all dark and damper the entire thing."

"Uh huh," he said, not taking his eyes off of her.

"So, Snooks, come on, tell me the truth now, do you like it?" she asked, looking down. "I know it's not my usual type of thing, since I prefer colors, but I think that it's good nonetheless, at least good enough for a formal wedding, you know. Snooks!"

Chris walked towards her a little more, "You just look, absolutely, I don't even know…"

"I've made you speechless?" she asked incredulously. "Oh my God Snooks, I've rendered you speechless, maybe I should forget the suit and just do this, because then I'd get to see you forget your vows or something and then I'd give you a nudge and you'd faint and we could send it in to America's Funniest Home Videos. They love stuff like that."

Chris walked a little closer. "Beautiful."

"Thanks Snooks," she said, not even noticing he was getting closer. She looked down at her dress again. "Maybe I can get those cuffs like the Playboy bunnies wear, just to have a little suit element to it, you know? But without the tail."

When she looked up, Chris was right in front of her face. She jumped a little bit, but Chris grabbed her arm before she could go anywhere. He ran his hand up her arm and she looked at him with wide eyes. She had never seen that look in his eyes before, at least never directed at her. Before she could open her mouth, his lips were on hers, pressing against her moist lips. She was too shocked for a moment to do anything, but when his arms wrapped around her tightly, pulling her to him, she gave in and let his tongue work its way into her mouth.

Chris couldn't believe how good she tasted. From the strawberry flavor of her lip gloss to the hot, wet moistness of her mouth, every crevice was incredible and he couldn't get enough. He felt her give in to the shock and she was returning the kiss and he was taking in her breath and giving her his breath. His hand found the back of her neck and he held her there, kissing her and kissing her until they were wrapped up in a passion neither one understood.

This was so much better than Red Vines.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: Wow, so much love for the last chapter that it almost made me want to just end it there and say, "happily ever after," but unfortunately, I couldn't, because even though they kissed, the story isn't over just yet. Keep in mind there is a means to an end people, means to an end (plus a planned sequel).

Please leave a review. :)

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He slowly broke away and looked at her face. It was that moment that he saw her face. Truly saw her face. It was like one of those epiphanies that a person had when they make some great discovery. Touching his lips to hers, feeling her soft breath pass from her body to his, it had been an epiphany of epic proportions. How come he hadn't been kissing her sooner? Jesus did it feel good. 

"I need to pick up my dry cleaning," she mumbled, "I mean, you know, it's sitting there, mingling with those other clothes, and dry cleaning, I mean, why is it so strict? Why aren't we allowed to do our own laundry, it's like we have to succumb to these higher powers. Why do we even buy stuff that needs to be dry cleaned? I mean, it's only a bunch of hassle anyways."

"I don't know, only my suits are dry clean only."

"Suits, suits are nice. My dad wears suits all the time, so does Shane. You know, it's quite the fashion statement. I don't wear suits because I'm not a guy, but yeah, if I were a guy I'd wear suits, I might wear a suit for you actually. Yeah, I might, I mean, that's what we were going to do, that's what I was planning to do, at least I think it was, was it?"

"I kissed you," he said.

"Yes, you kissed me, that's what that was. My brain got a little bit fuzzy right there and I thought I was having one of those out-of-body experiences. You know, it was almost Twilight Zone right there. It was like, I expected Robert Stack, or whatever that guy's name was that did Twilight Zone to come out and start asking silly questions like are we in a parallel dimension where it's ok for guys to kiss their girl best friends days before their wedding."

"Wedding, fuck, there's still a wedding," Chris muttered, his hands still on the sides of her face, holding her there. He looked down and saw her in the dress that she was going to wear as his "best woman."

"Well yeah, that ring you put on the blonde bombshell's finger, that's pretty indicative of this commitment you made to her. Now, maybe this was pre-wedding jitters, at which point I'd have to say you were nervous about this wedding. Which is understandable, perfectly understandable given the circumstances. Its almost poetic you know, like on Gilmore Girls once, Lorelai was going marry Max, but then she talked to Luke, who she loves, and then she didn't marry Max. Oh my God, I'm Luke, and you're Lorelai, but I don't love you….unless I LOVE YOU! Oh my God, Snooks do I love you?"

"I'm not sure I can answer that Stephers…"

"Yeah, I need to talk to my best friend, oh my God, you're him too! I'm screwed, I have nobody to talk to, I'm lost, oh my God, do I love you? I like you, but do I like you like that. Chris what the hell did you do to me? Did you give me like truth serum?"

"You called me Chris," he said, a little surprised. When talking to him directly, she hadn't called him Chris in almost three years.

"I did," she said, suddenly with no words to say, "I called you Chris…this is worse than I thought. Snooks, what are we going to do? You're getting married and I'm…wearing a dress for you."

"I can't marry Trish," he said suddenly, "I simply can't."

"Do NOT put pressure on me, it'll ruin my figure. Pressure goes straight to your hips."

"Stephers, I KISSED YOU!"

"Whoa there cowboy, calm yourself down," Stephanie said, looking around to people who were milling about, "I know what you did, I was there…except for the out-of-body experience part of me, but that part was watching the kiss very attentively. Almost too attentively, it was kind of stalker-ish if you ask me, but who am I to argue with myself?"

"Stephers, this doesn't discount the fact that I kissed you!"

"I know that," she hissed. "But what am I supposed to do, hop into my time machine and go back in time and conveniently step out of the way when you're going for my lips?"

"Yes, that's what you're supposed to do, you just have to find like a telephone booth or something like Bill and Ted."

"I can't change what you did! I didn't expect you to do that you know? I mean, I was just standing there, minding my own business wondering about the dress I was wearing to YOUR wedding and all of a sudden you're all over me like white on rice or like…brown on chocolate or something."

"I don't know what came over me," Chris said frantically. "I don't know, it was like, I think my brain actually left my body, I think that I am the first case of a person's brain just completely leaving their body. That has to be it, I mean, I don't kiss you."

"You don't? Then what the hell was that little thing back there?" she asked snarkily, pointing around with her finger. "Oh God, what if I secretly love you or something?"

"YOU secretly love ME?" Chris asked with a scoff. "Hello, I was the one who kissed you, if anything and anyone loves someone secretly, it's ME that secretly loves YOU!"

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"I don't know, what to go get Mexican food or go chasing puppies at the part, what do you think, do you secretly love me?"

"No," Chris said quickly.

"Well I don't secretly love you," she protested. "I think that you were like…I don't know, maybe it was like a Pavlovian thing. You know, like when you ring the bell, the dog does something. Maybe you saw the dress, though blonde bombshell and you kissed me, you're just like a dog Snooks."

"Nerves?"

"Yes!" Stephanie said, pointing right in his face. "You have nerves, because you love the blonde bombshell right?"

"I love her, yes," Chris said definitively. "I love her very much, and I want to marry her. I asked her."

"See, you're just…I don't know, but the kiss, it was a mistake, we both agree on that right?" Stephanie said, looking at Chris imploringly. She didn't want to have an awkward relationship with Chris, that was the last thing in the world she wanted. She was kind of scared that he was in love with her or something, because Stephanie wasn't in love with Chris. Sure, she loved him as a friend and once upon a time, she had had a crush on him, but once that crush had faded, so had any romantic feelings she had for Chris. She was not willing to sacrifice the best thing she had in the world for something that might tear that all down.

"Yeah, it was a…mistake. It was like that Snickers commercial where the guy painted 'Chefs' on the field instead of the 'Chiefs,' it's like that, exactly like that, except this involved our lips."

"And your tongue," she added, then shook her hands in defense, "I mean, we might as well shoot for accuracy."

"We'll just file this away under things we can laugh at when we're seventy-five and in the nursing home having wheelchair races," Chris told her.

"Yeah Snooks, we'll look back on this and laugh, because this whole thing is completely laughable."

"It is," he chuckled. "It was like kissing my sister if you know, my sister wasn't related to me and she was my best friend."

"I'd say it was like kissing Shane, but I've never kissed Shane and I would imagine robot's lips are cold, if robot's indeed have lips, but with all the technology today, I'm surprised that robots can't grow their own hair."

"Maybe robots like the bald look, you know, cool metal and all that," Chris said, starting to forget about the kiss already.

"See, this is good, this is banter, this is what we do, this is who we are, not people who make out in the middle of the mall like two crazed, oversexed teenagers. I mean, I haven't acted like a teenager since yesterday," Stephanie said proudly.

"Obviously I got carried away. I mean, I'm getting married in a month to a really great chick, you think she's a great chick, right Stephers?"

"She's a great chick, and this meant absolutely nothing," Stephanie said, "and I'm going to change out of this so that I can buy it, right, because this is what I'm wearing Snooks, right? I mean, from the impression that I got from you, the whole, wow and kissing thing, I'm thinking that this is the keeper."

"It's the keeper, it's like…the Grand Slam of dresses, definitely," Chris said, giving her the thumbs up.

"I'll be back then," she said walking off.

When she was out of sight, Chris let out a breath that he had been holding inward for a while now. He looked around, as if everyone could see him, as if he were exposed. He didn't know what exactly had compelled him to kiss Stephanie, but it was like, it was like gravity had decided that instead of pulling him towards the core of the Earth, Stephanie had become the center of the universe and he was pulled towards her lips.

It wasn't even the dress she was wearing. Stephanie had worn many dresses for him, Chris had even seen her in her underwear, it was just, there was something, and he couldn't place his finger on it. He didn't love Stephanie, he knew that, or at least he wasn't in love with her. If he were in love with Stephanie, he would be with Stephanie. At least that's what his brain told him, and his brain was usually right, it was the smartest thing in his body.

Maybe he just had to get this out. Trish had been right it seemed. A guy and a girl couldn't be just friends for every long. At some point, they had to face whatever tension there was between them and he had to admit that this was at least a load off his mind. He had gotten it off his chest and now he knew that there was nothing more than friendship between him and Stephanie. There could never be anything more than friendship with Stephanie.

That kiss had been kind of hot though, now that he had a clear head to think about it. He had only kissed Stephanie when they were working and those had been planned so meticulously that he hadn't even thought about what it was like to kiss her. It had always just been work and they had had a good laugh about it after it was over. But this had been a real kiss, this had been an involved and real kiss.

She had tasted so different from what she thought she was going to taste like. He thought for sure she would taste like candy, but she didn't, she tasted like strawberries and something else so distinctly Stephanie. He licked his lips a little, trying to savor the way her mouth felt on his, the way her tongue moved across his with expertise. Where the hell had Stephanie learned to kiss that well? Chris had known her for years and had never seen her even kiss a guy like that, when had she even learned to kiss like that? She had been something else, and he almost wanted to kiss her again just so that he could taste her and feel her.

But it couldn't go any farther. He loved Stephanie with all his heart and believed her to be the other half of his soul, or something cheesy like that. It was like, when he was created, they had taken half of him away, and then six years later, they had put that other half into Stephanie and they were here today because one didn't go without the other. He loved her, but he couldn't say he was IN love with her and that was a big difference. He was in love with Trish, he was going to marry Trish and that was a promise that he had made to the blonde. He had proposed and he was going to marry her.

Stephanie put her hands over Chris's eyes, "Guess who?"

"Um…The Easter Bunny?"

"No…close though…"

"The Tooth Fairy?"

"Ding, ding, ding," Stephanie said as she uncovered his eyes. "So I guess the whole suit thing is a no-go, you just want me to be in a dress…or does the blonde bombshell want me in a dress because she doesn't want me to act like a guy."

"I want you in a dress, that dress," Chris said, pointing to the garment in her hand. "Besides, it's not like it's an all day thing, it's for my wedding, you can dress up one time for me when I'm getting married."

"Are you excited about it Snooks? Do you stay up at night and imagine just how it's going to be? Do you picture yourself shoving cake into Trish's face and then her getting mad and throwing cake at you and setting off a massive food fight that will end when someone knocks the ice sculpture over, causing someone to fall and trip and break their leg?"

"Yes, I pictured just that," Chris said drolly. "Stephers, I am excited. What's not to be excited about? I get to marry the second most beautiful woman in the world."

"Second?"

"Well you know you're always first baby," Chris said as he took the dress from her. "This is my treat, it's for my wedding, so I'm going to pay for it, I think that's only fair."

"You don't have to do that," she said, trying to grab the dress back.

"I insist."

"I desist," Stephanie said with a smirk. "Or something like that. I want to pay for it, so let my pay for it."

"No," Chris told her. "It's my wedding."

"But your boobs aren't going to be the ones holding up that top," Stephanie informed him, "so give me the dress or nobody gets hurt."

"You'll get hurt all right," Chris said, slapping her on the ass.

"Oh, that's molestation, I'm going to have you arrested and then you'll go to jail and instead of marrying Trish, you'll be marry some guy named Zeke in the middle of your prison cell."

"You'd bail me out," Chris said, leaning in close.

"Shows what you know," Stephanie told him. "So are you going to let me pay for the dress?"

"Are pigs going to fly today?"

"Well, I read the weather forecast and they said their was a 30 chance of pigs flying today, so yeah, there is a good chance. Don't worry, I have an umbrella in the car just in case one of them falls onto us, cause you know, their wings might get tired."

"I'm paying and that's final."

"Oh, you're so scary," Stephanie said with a laugh. "Fine, but don't say I didn't offer."

"You did, and I refused, end of story, end of discussion."

"Wow, the blonde bombshell has no idea what she's in for," Stephanie sing-songed. "You two will be great together though, G-R-E-A-T, great, like a cheer or something."

"Oh yeah, don't do any cheers at our wedding."

"Don't worry, I'll be the most proper girl ever, I'll make my parents proud for once, okay, never, they'll never be proud of me."

"Stephers, about earlier, the entire kiss thing, I mean, you know, we don't…it's just," Chris rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"I get it, don't worry about it, it's forgotten…"


	26. Chapter 26

"You're getting married in the morning!"

"I never, ever should've agreed to watch My Fair Lady with you," Chris groaned. "Is this all I'm going to be hearing for the next few days Stephers, because if it is, I'm going to invest some stock into ear plugs and then buy all the earplugs in the tri-state area."

"Ding dong the bells are gonna chime!" she kept signing.

"Stop Stephers, spare my eardrums!"

"Would you rather I sing something else?" she asked sweetly. "Oh…I 'ate you 'enry 'iggins!"

"Stephers, please, my eardrums, they're going to burst, and then they're going to leak, and I'll slip and then my brain will fall out and then my parents will sue you."

"They will, but Mom and Dad would never sue me," she said, giving him a pouty look. "If anything, they'd scold you for not taking some action in order to not let your eardrums burst. So they wouldn't blame me. They like me better anyways."

"Why is that!" Chris exclaimed. "My mom didn't give birth to you."

"I think that's why Snooks," Stephanie answered with a definitive nod. "See, she didn't have to go through pain with me, but she did with you, so I think that she secretly resents you and probably doesn't want you anymore. I'll tell you the truth, we're phasing you out, I'm going to be their only child."

"I will not go gently into that dark night!" he yelled, raising a finger to the air. He chased after Stephanie and she squealed as she turned tail to run.

She got a few steps when her shoelaces became untied and she started to trip. She fell to the ground and her hands caught the ground first. She grunted as she was propelled to the floor. She turned around and looked at Chris with wide eyes as he sauntered towards her. She backed herself up until she hit the wall, still looking like she was going to get murdered by Chris.

"Please don't hurt me Mr. Jericho, please, I have so much to live for!" she said, giving him wide eyes.

"Come here Stephers," Chris said in a sickly sweet voice. He lunged for her and she crawled under his legs and out of his reach. He pounced on her though, laying her flat against the ground and kept her pinned as she rolled over. "You're in so much trouble."

"Snooks, get off of me," Stephanie said, wiggling around underneath him. "You have to leave soon anyways and do you really want your future in-laws to see you on top of a woman who isn't the bombshell…you know, I don't really think they'd want to see you on top of the bombshell either.

"What if I don't want to get off?" he tested the waters.

"I'd flip you on your back," she told him, her chest heaving.

Chris stared down at her. After the whole kiss fiasco, things had pretty much gone back to normal. Chris was still getting married, Stephanie was still her crazy self, and the kiss was all but forgotten. For Stephanie it was, at least. Chris, on the other hand, not so much. It wasn't like he was dwelling over the fact, but he couldn't help but let it pop into his mind. He could still remember how her lips felt, how her body pressed against his own.

"Snooks, do you maybe want to get off of me?" Stephanie asked as Chris zoned out on her. "I know that you find this whole thing kind of kinky, in a twisted way, but I'm going to have to veto this entire idea. Like on that Frasier I saw once where they got to blackball people while deciding on who came to a dinner party. I feel like I should blackball this entire incident right here."

"Sorry, sorry, I was just thinking about…the dinner tonight, with Trish's parents, if they'll like me and stuff like that, you know, I mean, they might not like me. They might ban me from seeing their daughter. I might have to marry her in secret and then kill her cousin and be banished from the city and then things will get mixed up and she'll pretend to die and then I'll kill myself and then she'll kill herself and then it'll all be so tragic that they should make it into a play or something."

"Where will I be?"

"I don't know, you can be the one that discovers us and gasps and calls the police and then they question you to make sure that you didn't do it, but since the wounds would be self-inflicted, you'd be off the hook."

"I don't want that to happen, I like having you around. I think they'll like you, what's not to like? Smart? Half-check. Funny? Check. Looks? Three-Fourths-check."

"Excuse me, a half-check for smarts and a three-fourths-check for looks? Who are you describing, a gargoyle, all of those deserve checks, I think you should check over your notes again because I think that they're terribly wrong Stephers and I demand a recount!"

"Well, since it's just me judging," she paused. "Recount done, the checks stand."

"I'm smarter than you," he said petulantly.

"Not smart enough to get off of me," Stephanie said, pushing his chest. Chris reluctantly got up off of her. "You have to get ready for your date anyways. You want to make sure that these people like you. You will be related to them forever."

"Hey, wouldn't it be weird if we got married and then your parent's reaction to that, I'd pay to see that!" Chris exclaimed.

"Oh Snooks, you wouldn't live to see the wedding day. They would do something like on 90210…do you think it's funny that I just call it 90210, how did a zip code of all things become such a powerful word in our lexicon?"

"Tangent!"

"Oh yeah, that word is so helpful, but when Dylan married that one girl and then her car blew up, like the day they got married, that'll happen to you. You get in a car and you go boom. Ka-boom! Bye-bye Snooks."

"Wow, now I'm going to have to watch your parents a little more closely now, knowing that they have a hit on me."

"Oh no, see, you're only the bad influence on my life Snooks, if we were to really be together, that's when the shit would hit the fan so to speak. That's a really gross saying, don't you think? I mean, what does that evoke? Feces spraying everywhere. Nobody wants that."

"Hence the point of the saying because that's the grossest thing they could think of at that particular moment."

"Shit and a fan, I don't want to meet the people who came up with shit hitting the fan. If they smell, I'd run because you'd know what they were doing upstairs, probably throwing crap like they were gorillas or something."

"I'm getting ready now, for real this time, not for fake."

"Fake getting ready would be awkward yeah," she said as he wandered into his bedroom, going through his clothes. Stephanie went and lay on the bed and waited for him to come back to see her. He was a quick dresser so he shouldn't take too long and he didn't, coming back in a nicely pressed pair of pants and a dapper button-down shirt. "Well hello there Mr. GQ, did you come for your fashion shoot?"

"Why yes, I did," he said, striking a few poses. "Let me go into my thinking mode?" He raised his leg and put it on the bed and then grabbed his chin, almost doing the Thinker pose. "How do I look?"

"Great Snooks, now get the hell out of here before the blonde bombshell starts calling."

"I'm going, I'm going," Chris said, leaning down to hug her. "I'll be back later Stephers, and I know what you'll want, but if I don't, expect a call asking what you want to eat."

"I'm so predictable Snooks, haven't you figured me out yet?"

"You! Figure you out! I don't think so, you're an enigma wrapped in a puzzle, wrapped in a mystery, wrapped in a Twinkie. You've got so many layers, you should just call yourself an onion, cause they have layers, not because you smell. You smell sometimes, but then you shower and everything is clean again, and the moral of the story children is that cleaning is fun!"

"Goodbye Snooks," Stephanie said pointedly.

Chris left the hotel room and went down to the lobby of the hotel where Trish was waiting with her parents. She spotted Trish and waved, walking over to her and giving her a light kiss. He smiled as he pulled away and she looped her arm through his. He wasn't going to compare her kisses to Stephanie, he wasn't going to compare her kisses to Stephanie, her repeated over and over. Even though he had done so quite a bit over the last couple weeks (and no, he won't reveal who was the better kisser), he wasn't going to do that when her parents were here. He had more respect for her than that.

"Chris, these are my parents, Alice and John Stratus. Mom, Dad, this is my fiancé, Chris Jericho," Trish said, making the introductions.

"It's so nice to finally meet you," Alice said, shaking his hand politely. "You're all that our little Patty talks about."

"I'm flattered that I could be the only subject a person talks about. I didn't even know I had enough material to be spoken about at all hours of the day. I must be something."

"See, funny, right?" Trish said to her mother, grinning up at Chris.

"Very," Alice winked. "Let's go to dinner, shall we?"

"I think we shall," Trish said, letting her parents go ahead of her.

"Patty?" Chris asked, holding in his laughter. "Really? Are you serious? Patty?"

"Shut up, you know my name is actually Patricia and I go by Trish for short. But my mom likes Patty instead and if you tell this to anyone, I'm going to be so angry with you."

"I'm sorry, it just really reminds me of Peppermint Patty from the Peanuts gang. And then when I think of peppermint patties, I think of York Peppermint Patties and how chocolately and delicious they are. Which invariably makes me think of Junior Mints, which brings me back around to Seinfeld who had an episode involving a Junior Mint."

"You're one screwed-up guy Chris Jericho," Trish said adoringly.

"Yeah, I've been told that a time or two."

They went to the restaurant and once they were seated, the discussion of the wedding got underway. Chris let Trish and her mother talk it out while he discussed hockey with Trish's dad. They were nice people, down-to-earth and extremely friendly and warm. They were just the kind of parents he expected the bombshell to have. They were like her and she was like them, it was the perfect parent-child match, as opposed to the bad parent-child match, which used a picture of Stephanie and her parents in the dictionary of weird terms that nobody uses except Chris when he's thinking about things.

"So, I'm very excited for you two," Alice said as she glanced at them, "now you have all your dresses and what not right?"

"Right," Trish nodded.

"Now, I know your sisters, Christie and Lissa are your bridesmaids, and that's squared away. Chris, do you have your best man all picked out and everything."

"Best woman," he corrected.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" she asked.

"Best woman, I don't have a best man, I have a best woman. She's not a man, so I felt weird calling her a man because she's so obviously a woman. But yeah, she's my best friend, Stephanie McMahon, she's my best friend and she's going to be my best woman. Right next to me."

"Woman? Don't you think that's a little unorthodox?" John asked. "Don't you have male friends?"

"Yeah, of course, my friend Christian is the other groomsman, but Stephanie is my best friend and she means the world to me and I already promised her that she would be up there and I can't have a wedding without her," Chris said, defending Stephanie because she was his best friend in the world and this engagement wasn't going to change that.

"Oh, does she have a dress? Is she wearing a dress?"

That brought him back to their kiss again. He nodded slowly, trying not to picture her naked. Instead he brought himself back to the conversation. "She's wearing a dress, I helped her pick it out so it's perfect."

"That's so…interesting," Alice said. "A woman groomsman. Well, I guess if you can figure out all this new technology, we can at least go forward with the wedding. Now you say this girl is Stephanie McMahon, who works with you."

"That's the one, she's the best," Chris said, a smile coming over his face as he thought about his best friend in the entire world. "She's been with me through everything and I think it would be an insult to her if she wasn't in this wedding with me. She's my support system and part of my family. My parents regard her as one of their children, so she's like my sister."

"Oh, that's so nice," Alice said.

"That reminds me," Chris said as he flagged down a waiter.

"Yes sir, can I help you sir?"

"Yeah, thanks, I wanted to order one more meal, but can you make it to-go and have it at the end of the meal before we leave?"

"Of course sir, what would you like?"

"The chicken piccata please," Chris said as the waiter nodded and walked away. He turned to Chris's confused parents. "Whenever I got out on a date or when Stephanie goes out on a date, we bring the other food back and then we talk about what happened, it's a tradition and we'd hate to buck tradition right?"

"Right," Alice said.

Chris looked down at his hand. "Oh man, I just noticed I have ink all over my hand, if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to wash them."

As soon as Chris left the table, Alice turned to Trish, "Is he in love with this Stephanie girl?"

"No Mom, they're just really close," Trish explained. "I thought it was weird at first too, but trust me, there's nothing going on there, they are just best friends and nothing more."

"Do they share a hotel room?" John asked, "That's what it sounded like?"

"They get adjoining rooms, separate beds," Trish said. "Look, they're just really, really close, but I'm glad he has her. She's the only one who can keep up with him on a good day and when he comes to me, he's softer, nicer. He gets it all out with Stephanie and then he's great with me. I love him Mom, he loves me too. Stephanie is just his best friend. It's not like they're making out."

"I'm just worried that you might be in over your head."

"I'm not, Stephanie and Chris are friends, I trust them, they've never done anything to hurt me. They wouldn't start now, they're both good people, really Mom, trust me. There's nothing between them."

If only she knew what had happened.


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys. I anticipate two chapters after this one ends, sad huh? But as soon as this one concludes, the sequel will be up almost immediately, it's already been started. I could've just kept this one going and not done the sequel, but the sequel is its own story, so yeah.

I don't like this chapter, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless, and reviews make me happy. ;)

* * *

"You're not going to have a bachelor party?"

"No, I decided against it," Chris told his fiancée. "I don't really like the scene anyways. Stephanie and I usually make fun of people who go to strip clubs and who look at porno magazines in the middle of a crowded store, especially if it's like in the middle of the afternoon."

"You could go out with the guys or something, just a nice dinner, maybe a bar, nothing raunchy, just something fun."

He shrugged, "Why? What are you doing? Going to a male strip club or something? Or doing something equally raunchy?"

Trish giggled, "We're going to a sex shop and buying some stuff, nothing too out there, just something a little bit fun. And then we're going to dinner some place, I don't know yet, but nothing too raunchy."

"Sex shop?" Chris asked, "What the hell are you going to get at a sex shop?"

"Honey, you don't want to know," she winked.

"Yeah, I do actually, because I don't want to find anything scary in our bedroom, I'm not into some stuff, you know."

"I know," she said. "Do you know where Steph is by the way?"

"Um, is she going to be included in our bedroom sexcapades?" Chris asked, his eyes turning wide. "Because she's not really into that stuff."

"No silly, I'm inviting her over for tonight, the bachelorette party. I mean, she's a girl, she's going to be at the wedding, so she's going to be invited, come on Chris, get your head out of the clouds, we're getting married in a week's time."

"Oh, Stephanie's not going to your thing," Chris said.

"What? Why not?"

"Because she's hanging with me. I'm not having a bachelor party, I'm just going to be hanging out with Steph, I mean, she's my best woman, she's going to be the one I want to hang out with."

Trish frowned, "But I wanted her to come to my party."

"Well too bad, Stephanie and I are going to out and that's final. We've been planning it for weeks now, so you really can't change her mind. It's fine though, she's on my side of the altar so she's going to be with me."

"And the other guys?"

"I'll do something with them later or something," Chris shrugged. "I promise I will go out and get drunk and see strippers if that's what you really want me to do!"

"It's what I really want you to do," Trish joked, kissing him on the lips. "Well, I guess this is where we part for the day because I wanted to get some shopping in before I get ready for my party and I'm sure you have…I don't know, some kooky thing to do before you meet with Stephanie. At least since I know you're with her, I know you're not going to like, find some woman and sleep with her as a last fling or something."

Chris laughed as Trish kissed him one last time and watched walk off, still laughing nervously. She hadn't picked up on it, and he was glad. He didn't want to ever have to tell her that he had kissed Stephanie. That kiss was still in his brain although it had far been forgotten by his partner-in-crime. He couldn't understand how Stephanie could be so nonchalant about it. They had kissed! Of course, he was the one who was getting married in a week and she wasn't, so that probably helped her not care about it.

He had been the opposite. He felt extremely guilty for keeping this from Trish. This was the woman he was marrying and yet he had kissed his best friend. It had probably just been to get it out of his system, to make sure that he really didn't have feelings for Stephanie and that they could continue to be friends even after his wedding to Trish. But the guilt would creep up into him and he would think of scenarios under which Trish would find out and then dump him.

Then this was compounded by the fact that he had been so busy with the wedding that he hadn't seen as much of Stephanie as he would've liked, or would have in the past. Before Trish, he and Stephanie literally never spent more than 48 hours apart at any time, and most of the time that happened it was when they both had other commitments at the same time. But now he hadn't seen her in more time than that, and he was scared that he would see her less and less.

Stephanie was the most important person in his life. He knew that when everything came crashing down, she would be the one thing left standing with him at the end. She would always been there, but if she was around less and less, then did that mean he was going to end up all alone? He knew that he had Trish, and he loved her, but what he had with Stephanie was so deep and so…something, that he knew that she meant more to him than anything.

"Zoned out Snooks, this isn't good, it means that you have something weighing heavily on that cute little mind of yours, and I used the term 'little' for a reason," Stephanie said as she walked into his hotel room.

"Oh hey Stephers."

"What's up?" she asked, flopping down onto his bed.

"Trish wanted you go to her bachelorette party, but I told her that you were going to be with me today and tonight," Chris told her, flopping down onto the bed next to her.

Stephanie laughed, "Um, no thanks, not that I don't like the blonde bombshell, but I think I'd rather shave my head and then get a tattoo on it than go out with her and the chirpies that she goes out with. No offense to your fiancée, Snooks."

"None taken, they are a little much some of the time."

"Yeah, they are," Stephanie confirmed, "not that it's a bad thing or anything, but it's definitely not the crowd that I want to hang out with."

"Yeah."

"Okay, you're like Mr. Monosyllable today, so what's up? I can always tell when something's wrong."

"It's nothing, it's so much of nothing that it's like the black hole of nothing, that's how nothing it is."

"Nope, not swaying me, something is up with you," Stephanie told him. "Don't even tell me that you're thinking about that kiss again. Snooks, seriously, it was nothing, stop feeling guilty about it. Other guys do even crazier things before their married. Like that episode of Full House where Uncle Jesse goes sky-diving and lands in the tree and then drops in the tomato truck. So see, not even remotely as crazy."

"I don't know I feel guilty for it, I should tell her, I really should, I'm marrying this woman in a week, she will legally be my wife, and that means we shouldn't keep secrets from each other. Yet, here I am, keeping a secret from her."

"Secret, shmecret, it was a kiss, it wasn't like we had sex up against a wall or something like that. If you're you know what had gotten anywhere near my you know what, then maybe we'd have a case, but nothing happened, we were in the middle of the mall for God's sakes, it's not like we're exhibitionists or something. Snooks, nothing happened."

"Except my lips touched yours and they're only supposed to touch Trish's."

"She owns your lips? How much did that cost her? Because I've been looking into buying someone's eyes, but I didn't know the going rate, but if you could give me a ballpark figure for what she spent."

"She doesn't, but they're reserved for her, reserved!"

"It was one kiss, and it didn't mean anything to either of us, so whatever, what Snooks, are you afraid that you're in love with me, and that you are just biding your time until I tell you that I'm madly in love with you, because it ain't happening, I'm not in love with you."

"I'm not in love with you either. But what if there's potential?"

"Fine, kiss me right now," Stephanie said, glancing over at him. "Kiss me right now and get it out of your system if that's what you think this is Snooks. Go ahead and kiss me, I want you to, just do it, see for yourself that there's nothing here for you."

"Really?" he asked incredulously.

"Unlike you, I'm not engaged to any blonde bombshells, or bombshells of any kind, so who the hell is going to care if you kiss me, but if you think there's potential for it, then go ahead and kiss me," Stephanie told him, opening up her arms. "But you better make sure it's a good kiss, because I'm filing these away into my Pantheon of kissing, and you don't want to be tucked away in the corner do you?"

"Why didn't we ever have sex?" he asked bluntly.

Stephanie coughed and sputtered, "What!"

"Well, everyone thought we were, everyone speculated at some point we did, why didn't we?"

"Because it would be the most awkward thing in the world."

"Hey, hey, hey, I know where to put it," Chris told her.

"Oh, I'm sure you do," Stephanie said, "but I don't want you sticking it anywhere on me. Snooks, we'd never get through it, I'd see you naked and I'd start laughing, and then you'd see me naked, and you'd faint from the beauty of it."

"Laugh? Stephers, I don't think you'd be laughing in the slightest," Chris told her haughtily. "I'll have you know, that 'Larger than Life' slogan I had, well that's true, totally and completely the truth, just like the fact that the universe is big."

"Well I don't want to go star-gazing, thanks," Stephanie said with a smile. "The thing is this Snooks, you and I, I don't think we'd mix, I think we'd be like oil and vinegar, wait, those two things mix don't they? Oil and water, yeah, they don't mix, those things don't mix, we're like oil and water, we just wouldn't mix."

"Or we would mix like Red Vines and Coke when you use the Red Vines as a straw," Chris pointed out.

"I'm going to have to disagree, but if you want to kiss me, then go ahead, I'm not going to stop you."

Chris was almost tempted to do it, just to prove to himself once and for all that he wasn't attracted to Stephanie and he never would be. Sure, she was pretty, and funny, and smart, and she had her own voice, a very distinct voice, but it was still unique to her own person. She was an incredible woman, but he just wasn't all that attracted to her. He had kissed her because he was nervous about his impending nuptials, but other than that, nothing. Plus, he just couldn't betray Trish again. The first time had been impulse, but this time would be a knowing situation and he couldn't do that to the woman that loved him.

"Thanks, but I'll take a raincheck."

"You know a raincheck means you'll cash it in later, so you want to cash it in after you're married, that seems slightly more damaging," Stephanie explained. She shrugged and closed her eyes, "Suit yourself, but don't say I never offered, because I did, I really, really did."

"I know you did, and I appreciate that Stephers, but it would just be weird."

"Just like the first one. So what are we doing today?"

"I don't know, hang out I guess."

"Oh," Stephanie replied, laying there. "The blonde bombshell's party is looking pretty good right now, what were they going to do?"

"I don't know," he replied idly. "I'm getting married in a week."

"Did you just remember that, because if you did, then I'm going to have to probably explain the woman you're marrying, and that could get pretty sticky."

"This is scary."

"Is it?"

"It is."

"Well then it is," Stephanie laughed and closed her eyes again. "It's not like a death sentence Snooks, it's just marriage, it's something that people do everyday, and it's been done for hundred and thousands of years, it's not like you're going to be the first guy to ever do it so get off your high horse and suck it up."

Chris scooted up the bed laid right next to Stephanie. He felt his fingers on her face and she opened her eyes as he brushed her hair out of her eyes. She smiled softly. "I don't want to ever lose you Stephers."

"You won't, you aren't," she reassured him.

"I feel like I am, I think that's what I'm so scared about, I think that's the root of all of this, this kissing and stuff, I think I'm afraid that I'm going to lose you in all of this. I feel like I'm losing you right now Stephers, and it scares me."

"Snooks, you're planning a wedding, you have to spend time on that, it's okay, I understand, just because you're not around doesn't mean that I'm going anywhere, you're stuck with me."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise you Snooks, I'm not going anywhere, and the blonde bombshell will just have to deal."


	28. Chapter 28

"So this is it, the night before the big day, the biggest day of your young life!"

"I'm not that young Stephers."

"Yeah, that's true," she told him, nodding. "But this is your big evening, I mean, the rehearsal dinner is done, everything is squared away, and you are now hours away from becoming Mr. Trish Stratus. This is HUGE Snooks!"

"I know!" he said, raising his voice to her decibel level. "I'm well aware of what tomorrow is. I have the day marked on my calendars with big arrows and hearts and stars and I couldn't miss it if I wanted to. I know what's happening tomorrow."

"Well, that's good, I'd hate to think that you didn't know what tomorrow was," she told him. "But you're okay right? I mean, no secondary judgments, no need to go sow oats, however wild they may be. No urge to jump off a tall building and think you're Spider-Man with the whole web in your wrists thing. Who would want webs in their wrists? Webs are gross, have you ever walked into a web and just felt so gross?"

"Yeah, it's creepy," he answered distractedly. "I do know what tomorrow is. Trish looked pretty tonight didn't she? She looked…so ready to get married, right?"

"Well, I'm not familiar with that particular emotion," Stephanie said, scrunching up her face a tiny bit. "But yeah, the bombshell looked as put-together as she usually does. She does clean up well, which is more than I can say for myself…I'd totally have toilet paper stuck to my shoe while I was walking down the aisle, I know I would."

Chris chuckled, but it didn't reach his eyes, "Yeah, but you wouldn't care, you never care about that kind of thing. You could probably have a bat stuck in your hair and not even care."

"Now what kind of bat would that be?" Stephanie asked. "Would it be like a baseball bat, because then I'd just play up like I was a prehistoric woman, you know with the bone in my hair. Or would it be like a living bat, because then I'd just be like Lily Munster."

"The living one," he informed her. "But either way, you wouldn't really care."

"No, I'm not like that, but I have complete faith that the blonde bombshell is going to be flawless tomorrow. I don't think she'd let herself walk down the aisle without looking the part of the beautiful bride."

"Yeah, she's like that," he said with a small smile.

"Okay, so what's the game-plan for tonight? We're going to go get drinks and then we're going to come up here and order up a ton of junk food, and then what, streak the lobby?" she asked as she settled herself cross-legged on his bed.

"Actually Stephers, I was hoping to have tonight to myself," he told her, turning to face her and looking at her imploringly, hoping that she would understand.

"By…yourself? Like in alone?"

"Well, that's usually what by yourself means, unless I guess, you're a conjoined twin and you have that other person right there all the time. That might be a little difficult to make some alone time. But since I have no person bodily attached to me, yeah, alone."

"But why?" Stephanie asked, giving him a pouty look. "I thought that we were going to spend your last night of freedom with each other. I mean, you do realize this is the last night, and I mean the LAST night that we can sleep in our adjoining rooms and talk to each other all night right? I don't think the blonde bombshell would appreciate getting woken up at three in the morning for some late-night hijinks."

"I know, but it's the night before my wedding, I think that I should spend it alone and gather my thoughts together, you know, get my vows in order. I have to be extra prepared for tomorrow, you have the rings right?"

"I have the rings, stop asking me Snooks, I swallowed them so that I could get past security at the airport, but don't worry, they should be coming back to us…soon," she winked. "Are you sure you want to spend tonight alone? It really is our last night together."

"Well it's not like we're having some illicit affair or anything, we'll still see each other, you promised."

"I know I promised, so don't be surprised to wake up and find me next to you…either that or a dead horse head, I'm not sure which one you're going to wake up with tomorrow," she shrugged as she got off his bed. "But if you really want to be alone, I can't stop you, I just want you to be okay for tomorrow, if that means my beautiful and wonderful presence won't be needed, then that's fine, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, you will," he said, pulling her into a backwards hug as he pulled her back into his chest and leaned his head onto her shoulder. "Tell me everything is going to work out, go off without a hitch."

"It will," she told him, patting his hand gently. "Snooks, you're Chris Jericho, you are the cockiest mofo alive, and you can do this. You know you can do this. It is a big step, but you're ready, you've _been _ready, and I'm so proud and happy for you."

"You are?"

"Yes," she told him honestly. "I'm proud to call you my best friend, and my soulmate. And I don't even believe in soulmates Snooks, but you're mine, see how that works, that doesn't make sense. But it's true. You're going to be great tomorrow, and I'm going to get to smile all pretty because one, we'll be taking tons of pictures, and two, you'll be off my back."

He laughed, "Save a dance for me?"

"Always. Now let me go before our bodies meld into one weird amalgamation. Then you really won't get your alone time."

Chris reluctantly let go of Stephanie and she turned to give him a proper hug. He let himself hug her for a little longer than perhaps he should have. Her body pressed into his, soft and supple against his own. He needed Stephanie's strength right now. He'd never admit it to anyone but her, but Stephanie was so much stronger than he was. She was strong and beautiful and she would go in there tomorrow and kick asses and take names.

"Okay, now you have a nice night, don't get bags under your eyes or I might have to break out some hemorrhoid cream to get rid of the swelling, and I don't think that Trish wants you smelling like Preparation H, oh man, that should be Hunter's new nickname."

"I like Asshole better," he said as he walked her to the door. He opened the door and was surprised to see his parents on the other side, his father poised to knock. "Mom, Dad, what are you doing here?"

"We just wanted to come see you, are you and Stephanie busy?" his mother asked.

"No, I was just leaving, Chris wants to be alone tonight," Stephanie told them. "He needs to reflect or something. Knock some sense into him Dad, okay?"

"We will," Loretta laughed. "Now you two are coming to breakfast tomorrow right, we want to have a nice family breakfast before the ceremony, just the four of us."

"Yeah, I'll be there Mom," Stephanie said.

"I don't know Mom," Chris said. "I'll call you in the morning."

"Well, I'm heading off," Stephanie said, giving Loretta and Ted a hug each. "Bye, sleep tight Snooks, and don't worry."

"Why are you worrying?" Loretta asked as she and Ted walked into the room as Chris closed the door. They took a seat on the couch as Chris leaned against the wall looking at them.

He shrugged, "Wedding jitters, you know how it is."

"Or is that you're finally realizing that there's someone better for you out there?" Ted asked, sending a knowing look to Loretta who smiled.

"Mom," Chris warned. "I'm just nervous, weren't you guys nervous before you got married? I mean, you had to at least be a little nervous."

"Of course," Ted said, "but once you see your bride, everything else kind of disappears. That's when you really know that, that person is the one that you're supposed to be with for the rest of your life. When Trish appears at the end of that aisle with a smile on her face, you'll know. You'll know and you'll be so sure of your decision. And if you panic, Stephanie will be right there to reassure you."

"Yeah, I guess once I see her, everything is going to be fine," Chris said. "It's just this is a big thing right?"

"It is a big thing, but it doesn't have to be so scary," Loretta told her son. "Chris, you just have to be sure of yourself, and I know that you have it in you to be sure of yourself. I know that you are going to make a great husband and somewhere down the road, a great father, if that's in the cards for you. You're a great man Chris."

"Thanks Mom, I guess I just have to get over this nervousness, I'm sure that I'll be ready to go tomorrow. If I don't show up for breakfast tomorrow, I'm just getting ready."

"Okay sweetie," his mother said, getting up and giving him a hug. "Don't worry, tomorrow is going to be one of the most special days of your life and you are going to be so happy. I know it."

"Thanks," Chris said as he watched his parents leave his room and leave him all alone. Loretta and Ted walked down the hallway to the elevator to their own room. Once they were inside the elevator, Ted looked over at his wife.

"So tell me, how much did you just want to tell him that you want him with Stephanie?" Ted asked.

"I resisted the urge," Loretta said. "We can't make their lives for them Teddy. We can't make them see what we see. Maybe they're right and we're wrong. Maybe they are just friends and that's it, nothing more. Maybe we just love Stephanie so much that we want her to be our daughter by any means necessary."

"Do you honestly believe that?"

She sighed, "No, do you?"

"Nope."

Stephanie adjusted her tie in front of the mirror. She had went ahead and gotten a suit for the occasion. She didn't really want to wear that dress that she had bought. It would probably just remind Chris if that kiss that they had shared, and she wasn't sure that should be the image that passes through his mind when he was waiting for his future bride. Chris had called her that morning and she was told to meet him at the church. She shrugged and figured he just needed time. She brushed out her hair, not knowing how to wear it and planning to ask Chris what he thought later.

She went downstairs and got in her rental car to go to the church where the ceremony was being held. The wedding itself was in Toronto, Trish's hometown, and actually a place that Chris and Stephanie visited frequently, even before he had started dating Trish. She was familiar with the area and drove to the church rather effortlessly. There were some people milling about already, ready to go inside, and she knew that Trish and her bridesmaids were here, getting ready. There was a place for them in the rectory to get ready and instead of having to travel in her dress, Trish had decided to just get ready here.

Stephanie looked up at the church and smiled. She was so happy for her best friend. She was practically bursting from happiness for him. She might explode with happiness by the time this day was over. Either that or end up in some random guy's bed, and she only hoped that whatever random guy she was hot…and not Hunter…or Randy. She giggled to herself as she walked inside, wandering around to see if she could find Chris anywhere.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" a woman said.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I was looking for the groom."

"Oh, okay," she said. "I'm the wedding planner's assistant and you would be…"

"The best man," she answered, and the woman gave her a strange look, then it dawned on her.

"Oh yeah, my boss told me that was the special circumstance in this case, well, we have a room sanctioned, let me show you the way," the woman said as she led Stephanie to a small room off to the side of the church. "The groom isn't here yet, but sit tight okay."

"Thanks," Stephanie said as she sat down in one of the chairs, leaning back against the wall. She thought about how things were going to change after this. She wondered how often she would get to see Chris now. Well, she wouldn't see him for the next week since he and Trish were going to Venice for their honeymoon. But after that, things were going to be so different. She didn't know how different they would be.

She closed her eyes, and somehow, fell asleep right then and there. It wasn't until the door flung open, hitting the wall hard that she even woke up. She looked startled as Trish came into the room, her bridesmaids behind her along with her mother. Stephanie stood up and looked around, wondering what the hell was going on.

"Where is he?" Trish demanded.

"What? What are you talking about?" Stephanie asked.

"Everyone and their mother has been looking around Chris, and he's nowhere to be found. Everyone was looking except you Stephanie, and you always know where Chris is, so where is he?"

"Chris is gone?" Stephanie asked.

"Yes, the wedding is supposed to start in five minutes and nobody even knows where he is!" Trish said. "I don't even…I don't know what to do." She started to tear up and her sister took her into her arms and held the sobbing bride, all decked out in her dress and everything.

"Trish, I swear, I don't know where Chris is, but I'll help you look," she told the blonde. "I swear I will."

She pushed past everyone who had come to interrogate her and she went out into the daylight. She didn't know where Chris was, but she had a really good feeling about where he might be. She got back into her car and started the engine, everyone looking distraught as she left them all behind. She had a mission now and she knew that mission was clear.

Find Chris.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: I want to thank everyone who has read and/or reviewed this story. It's always been sort of a black sheep among my stories, what with the randomness and the characters, but I've always had a soft spot for it. I'm sad to end it, but it's time to start a new one, which I hope you will equally love. Anyways, thanks again.

I hope you enjoy, and please review for one last time. :)

* * *

1Stephanie found him in their secret hiding place. Ok, so it wasn't so much a secret hiding place as it was just a place they liked to visit. She sat down on the secluded bench next to him. He wasn't even in his tuxedo, instead in a pair of black jogging pants and a white tank top. She carefully sat down, loosening up her tie as she sat there.

"I don't know if you know this, maybe it slipped your mind or maybe you hadn't checked your calendar, but there's this wedding you were supposed to attend and you completely missed it."

"I know," he mumbled.

"Well at least you know, because if you hadn't, I would've thought you had amnesia and I would've had to play the Manhattan Melodies song on some glasses and then punch you in the head."

He didn't laugh, "No amnesia."

"Okay, I know something's wrong, I KNOW, because one, you're not answering me with anything remotely funny, and two, you didn't show up for your own wedding. Imagine my surprise when I'm the one that had to calm everyone down. I had to make a run for it, they all thought I had something to do with it, like I helped you make a quick escape down a laundry chute or something."

"I'm sorry, I didn't want you to get into trouble."

"I'm not, I'll live, but Snooks, there's a woman waiting at the altar for you."

"I can't marry her," Chris said, his gaze trained on the ground. "I know that's a terrible thing to do, but after you left last night, I just laid in bed and I thought about my life and myself and Trish and everything."

"And came to the conclusion that you couldn't get married?"

"Yeah," he answered, "I like my life how it is right now Stephers, and I don't want it to change."

"Snooks, did you ever think that maybe it would only get better and not worse? You may like your life now, but maybe it'll be even better when you marry Trish."

"I kissed you."

Stephanie looked down. She didn't want to think about that kiss again. It had been a complete mistake, and they both knew that. It had been a good kiss, if not a little bit awkward. But her and Chris, they could never be more than friends, it would be so weird that it would end badly. Or at least end weird.

"Yes, you did."

"I kissed you and I didn't regret it."

"Sure you did, I didn't have any chapstick on at the time."

"You know what I mean."

"You're not in love with me Snooks," Stephanie told him gently.

"I know, and you're not in love with me," Chris answered.

"Exactly, so the kiss was just nerves."

"But it wasn't Stephers, it was just me trying to find a way out."

"A way out from the wedding?"

"Yeah, I was just trying to find a reason, and I guess I thought that, hey, if I kiss my best friend, then you know, they'll be that hanging between me and Trish and I could use that as an excuse as to why I don't want to marry her."

Stephanie nodded, "You're lucky I'm not a guy then. Because I'd hate to see you have to explain why you were kissing a guy."

"I don't know what to do."

"Well, I think that you're going to have to go talk to Trish, and tell her what happened. Because quite frankly Snooks, she's heartbroken."

Out of all of this, he knew that Trish was going to suffer the most, because she had the most to lose. He loved her, that wasn't a problem, but he didn't love her in such a way that he thought he could spend the rest of his life with her. Why was it the only woman he could imagine spending the rest of his life with was Stephanie?

"I'll talk to her, and explain...Stephers, I don't think there's anyone out there for me."

"Sure there is, I subscribe to this theory that there is one perfect person out there for everyone. Now, I know what you're saying, I'm just being swindled by buying the subscription when I can just go pick it up at my local bookstore, but it came with this nifty-looking hat, and a football phone. The hat I could've resisted, but a football phone, no way."

Chris smiled, "A perfect person, man, you did get swindled."

"Ok, so you think you're going to die alone."

"I might...actually more like might as well."

"Who's your perfect person Snooks?"

"You are. You are my perfect person. I see girls everyday and all I can think about is you, whether you'll be spending the night, what we'll be eating, it's always you Stephers."

"We have a really unhealthy relationship is all," Stephanie laughed, "Because you just said you weren't in love with me."

"What if I am in love with you?"

"If you have to ask, then I don't really think you're all that in love with me. Here's what I know about the two of us. We're screwballs, we take nobody and nothing seriously, we make far too many pop culture references, we are hyper at almost all hours of the day, and we can't live without each other. Now all of this translates into a life-long friendship...and you know why? Because if you're ending up alone, you are wrong. If you're alone, you're going to have me right beside you."

"You'll find a guy."

"Nope, uh uh, I will rebuff any advances and simply state in my calmest voice that it doesn't matter, my best friend is not dying alone with five hundred cats. Did you not see that CSI where the cats ate the woman who died in her house? I want you looking immaculate at your funeral, so I won't let you die alone."

"You don't have to say that."

"I don't? Well now you tell me," she said, nudging him. "Snooks, I love you."

"I know you love me, and I love you too. God, what would I do without you?"

"You wouldn't open your mouth as much. I can guarantee you that."

He took her hand in his and she put her other hand on top of his, sandwiching his hand in between her hands. She knew that he needed someone right now, and that he really was nervous about everything. It had taken a lot for him to not show up at his wedding today. Sure, some people could say that it was the coward's way out, but Stephanie didn't see it that way. She saw it as a bold move. Why should he go if he didn't want to be there?

"I wore a suit for you," she whispered as she leaned her head against his shoulder. "I went and bought it because the other dress, well, I kissed you in that and it would've seemed weird. But I went to all the trouble to get this tailored and I got poked with pins and measured, I at least think that you should buy me dinner for this."

"I'll buy dinner. Do you want to go out?"

"Yeah, might as well. I would like to get out of this suit though. I want to wear that kick-ass outfit I bought the other day."

"I still need to go talk to Trish."

"I know, but let's not think about that right now. I'm sure that someone is consoling her right now, and...holy shit Snooks, you have GOT to get dibs on the wedding cake, you cannot let that go to waste!"

Chris laughed for the first time that day, "I'll get the cake, we'll pig out."

"Great, that's the most important thing."

"We're really self-absorbed, maybe that's our problem?" Chris said idly.

"Maybe, but I don't think that's the case, because I care about you."

"Yeah, you're right. Because I care about you too. But I think that we've kind of formed our own cocoon with each other, and that's why we never let anyone else in."

"Then we'll both be beautiful butterflies together...don't worry about Trish, she'll get over it. People often do get over things, you know. Besides, nobody knows about this kiss that we shared, and nobody has to know. If you weren't ready to get married, you weren't ready to get married."

"Will I ever be ready?"

"I think the day you mature is the day that you'll be ready to get married."

Chris stomped a few steps, "Great, now I'll never be married!"

"You will, I guarantee it. And guarantees are important. I'm making a lifetime guarantee, and those are the best kind. If I should ever get lost, stolen, or dull, you can just send me back to the company you got me from, and they'll send you a new me at NO extra charge," she answered.

"What about upgrades? Do I get those free?"

She shook her head, "No, those you have to pay for. That would just be taking money from the company. But the upgrades will come at a lower price since we so value your business."

Chris wrapped his arm around Stephanie's shoulders, pulling her into his body. She wrapped her arms around his waist, settling herself at his side, where she knew she'd always be. They knew, for certain, that it was them for the long haul. They couldn't co-exist without each other. They were each other's rocks, and you don't separate rocks (if you're in a rock garden that needs to be perfect).

"Thank you for coming into my life Stephers."

"Thank you for not suing me after I spilled hot liquid on you. I was half expecting you to get Jackie Chiles on the case, but then you'd get a balm and it would cure you, so all you would end up with is a lifetime supply of coffee."

"My life would be very boring without you."

"You could always sky-dive naked to get that thrill, of course, it would be more fun if I were there on the ground, and I could look up and yell, 'Full Moon!' and then I'd laugh, because essentially your ass would be hanging out there, and that would be pretty funny."

"I don't think I'll take up naked sky-diving. I do need a vacation though."

"Well, you do have time off."

"My parents are going to be so--"

"Mom and Dad want what's best for you, and trust me on this one, they don't think its Trish. I talked to them about it the other night. Dad kept harping about how he thought it would be me up there with you, but I set him straight, I said that I WOULD be there with you, standing to your right, you know, as your best woman, and Dad was like, 'No, as the bride,' and I told him no way would I be caught dead in the kind of dress that Trish got, and Dad put me in a headlock and said that I would look beautiful in whatever I wore, but you know he was just saying that. Mom confessed that after she met Trish, she wondered why you were saddling yourself with someone so prissy. I think that was her way of saying she wanted me to be the bride, but since there was no headlock, I can't be too sure on her opinion."

"They said that?"

"Yeah, but they thought you were happy, and you should've seen the looks they gave me when I said I was going to go find you. It was like these smiles, like they thought I was going to go find you and then let you have sex with me against a wall or something, definitely creepy."

"I don't think Mom and Dad want to think about us having sex."

"They do if they want grandkids."

"Us with kids? We're kids."

"I'm not a kid," she said, shaking her head. "I'm a mature adult who has adult conversations and does not own a trampoline."

"Except you do and I bought you the trampoline."

"On second thought, everyone would think we were the coolest parents ever!"

"All the more reason not to have sex against a wall."

"It can be on a chair…or even on the trampoline."

"Kinky…but I guess if my parents are ok with me skipping out on my wedding, I'll be ok."

"Everything will be okay, you aren't the first person to skip out on their wedding and you won't be the last. You do however realize that they will make a cheesy romantic comedy out of this situation right? And I'm thinking that…hmm…um…Brad Pitt is going to play you."

"You think that highly of me?"

"I think you're the Mount Everest of people," she said.

They walked down the walkway to the exit of the park. Together, like always, like they knew it was always going to be. With a laugh, Chris pulled her into a headlock, and she tried to shake free. The day was like any other day. Chris and Stephanie, Stephanie and Chris, together for the long haul.

Together, forever.

** THE END**


End file.
